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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

My cat just had a shit in my fire.

392 replies

LAgeDeRaisin · 23/03/2021 15:20

So I've just got my 1 year old to nap, I've got horrible all day morning sickness, and it's my day off work today. I'm exhausted.

I decided to go to bed for a nap with the baby monitor and was nearly asleep when I hear this scraping noise from across the room.

The cat had managed to open the bedroom door, come in, and was digging around in the ash at the bottom of the fireplace to have a shit. I tried to pick him up but he was mid squat and it was midway out. He then became outraged and ran out traipsing soot all over the carpet. He is 9 years old with no health problems.

AIBU that he is a massive arsehole? He has a catflap which he has free access to and always goes outside. He 100% did this to spite me because I wanted 30 minutes to myself in bed.

Stories of your own arsehole pets requested please; it may help me feel better.

OP posts:
funnyoldonion · 23/03/2021 17:42

Our cat shat on our sofa after we got back from mcdonalds

SionnachGlic · 23/03/2021 17:43

The worst being when she’d finally get in the tray and then just shit right over the side of it.

I had this exact cat too...so proud watching him circle in his tray & then he sits (&shits) too close/over the edge...! And then does all his scraping over the non existent poo as it isn't there.... it is behind him, on the floor!

AnxiousAlpaca · 23/03/2021 17:44

Where do I begin Angry

Pisses on the carpet if litter tray is not up to it’s (v high) standards.

Pisses on the carpet when said litter tray is off being changed

Climbs all over you when in Teams calls begging for attention. When attention is given biting commences.

Becomes outraged when locked out of a room and actively pulls own fur out.

The list goes on Envy

Suzi888 · 23/03/2021 17:45

YABU cat is King and you will clean his mess up woman.
I ordered a brand new rug for the living room DDog wandered over to it, sniffed it and without the usual heaving opened his mouth, looked DH square in the eye and and vomited on it. He then trotted over to his bed and went to sleep. Arsehole.

trizzler69 · 23/03/2021 17:47

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Emmelina · 23/03/2021 17:48

It’s a very cat thing to do! I have three, they’re all assholes when they want to be, sometimes we don’t even know what we’ve done to piss one off Grin
I’m just pleased you found it before you lit the fire. I wouldn’t imagine burning cat turd would smell pleasant!

Cattermole · 23/03/2021 17:48

Senior Gentlecat, since we had building work done, has decided he no longer likes to go out into the cold and wet to poo.
We have sheepskin rugs, and he uses them instead. Last week I was on a Teams call with senior management and the cat was shitting next to my foot.

The Tank wees down the plughole, but I think that's brilliant.

Nyfluff · 23/03/2021 17:51

I understand that toileting issues often come from health issues that are about to appear, or come from emotional issues around stress etc and I have sympathy for that. What I don't like is when I deal with my own cats shit in litter boxes and sometimes an accident elsewhere, and then go outside to use my garden only to find it covered in other cats shit. I spent £600 on some landscaping and the neighbours bastard cat has taken to shitting all over it. I'm disabled and sometimes can't get out, so the last thing I want is to find tons of stinking big turds when I can. I wish they'd get a litter tray or feed their cat something else so it's not so horrendous. I can't keep up with it and will need to replace my landscaping with slabs. There are also 3 male cats taking turns pissing all over our planters, door, kids garden toys etc in some kind of turf war over my garden. I'm particularly honoured with the firepit piss and the front door piss. I want a 10 foot wall around the property.

ilovesooty · 23/03/2021 17:57

@oldshoeuk

Cats don't seem to like Zoom calls, people just shouldn't talk at their computers.
One cat I had hated me talking to other people on the phone. Once during a phone call he jumped off the table and got tangled in the curtains. I had to climb on the table, he fell to the floor ripping the curtains then the table collapsed and I fell backwards. The computer system smashed into my chest and I broke three ribs. That's advanced level cat prick behaviour.
LadyPoison · 23/03/2021 17:58

@LAgeDeRaisin

So I've just got my 1 year old to nap, I've got horrible all day morning sickness, and it's my day off work today. I'm exhausted.

I decided to go to bed for a nap with the baby monitor and was nearly asleep when I hear this scraping noise from across the room.

The cat had managed to open the bedroom door, come in, and was digging around in the ash at the bottom of the fireplace to have a shit. I tried to pick him up but he was mid squat and it was midway out. He then became outraged and ran out traipsing soot all over the carpet. He is 9 years old with no health problems.

AIBU that he is a massive arsehole? He has a catflap which he has free access to and always goes outside. He 100% did this to spite me because I wanted 30 minutes to myself in bed.

Stories of your own arsehole pets requested please; it may help me feel better.

One of mine did that as a kitten thinking it was a litter tray - she was sneezing for ages and never did it again!

The mess though was indescribable!

Teana89 · 23/03/2021 17:59

One of our bastard cats has peed on my face while I've been asleep. TWICE.
Only me, not any of the five other people in the house.

Lochmorlich · 23/03/2021 18:01

Found my dog foaming at the mouth.
Just about to rush her to the vet when I saw a frog cowering under the coffee table. It was summer and the frog had hopped in through the open door and daft dog had tried to pick it up.
I wiped her mouth out with a wet cloth, she threw up and was right as rain. As was the frog which I put into the field behind us.

Notsoaccidentproneanymore · 23/03/2021 18:02

Caught cat mid shit in a potted plant

Also had to chase a different cat round the house to get a dangly shit off her arse. Had to use a wet wipe. Thankfully didn’t go everywhere, but she bit me.

Don’t know why we even bother with them.

Twinkie01 · 23/03/2021 18:03

Light the fire with the cat on it. (Said tongue in cheek, don't do that, I hate cats for this very reason).

ComDummings · 23/03/2021 18:04

All cats are arseholes. Fact! Ours tries to kill us by running under our feet constantly. She she will be lying down napping for an hour being so cute, then we get up for a drink or something and BOOM, little dickhead runs under your feet. For no reason either, just to try and trip us and kill us.

ArabellaScott · 23/03/2021 18:07

I've just stomped in here to get away from my dog. She's been eating compost again and absolutely stinks, and now the house stinks and she keeps trying to nose into me with her stinking muzzle. Disgusting creature.

Deux · 23/03/2021 18:09

One of my cats puked on my new cream rug the day it went down. Never had any cat sick on the old brown rug.

IHaveBrilloHair · 23/03/2021 18:13

I threaten to put my cats in the oven.
Do they care, NO
One of these days I'll never do it.Grin

ComDummings · 23/03/2021 18:14

OMG I just remembered my friend’s cat used to bring in bugs. I was there once when she came through the catflap, trotted over to us and spat a MASSIVE spider on the carpet. It was the size of a plate, honest to God. Cat did this regularly with all kinds of creepy crawlies.

Inthevirtualwaitingroom · 23/03/2021 18:14

my dog wees on our bath mat if left on the floor also

Iremembertheelderlykoreanlady · 23/03/2021 18:16

We have a bag for life on the kitchen worktop that we put paper/card in before it goes to the recycle bin.

My cat pissed in there. Because he is a cunt! Piss all over the kitchen side

uytp · 23/03/2021 18:16

Better in your fireplace than a neighbour's vegetable patch / flower bed / lawn

Notsoaccidentproneanymore · 23/03/2021 18:19

Cat tripped me up, fell on mirror waiting to be hung on wall. Nearly severed 2 fingers. It was snowing heavily and had to call an ambulance, then get a taxi home.

Do I win........

muddlepiddle · 23/03/2021 18:20

Dd left her pe kit in a bag in the hall, I picked it up to wash it later that day to find the cat had done a massive shit in the bag

Tigerstripe20 · 23/03/2021 18:22

Mine only likes to crap whilst I’m cooking dinner, put him outside and he will wait until dinner is on and come in look you straight in the eye and do it.
Had a sickness visit with my manager once, cat walks straight in and takes a huge stinking poo ...could have done it at any other time during the day

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