My cat just had a shit in my fire.

[LAgeDeRaisin]

So I've just got my 1 year old to nap, I've got horrible all day morning sickness, and it's my day off work today. I'm exhausted.

I decided to go to bed for a nap with the baby monitor and was nearly asleep when I hear this scraping noise from across the room.

The cat had managed to open the bedroom door, come in, and was digging around in the ash at the bottom of the fireplace to have a shit. I tried to pick him up but he was mid squat and it was midway out. He then became outraged and ran out traipsing soot all over the carpet. He is 9 years old with no health problems.

AIBU that he is a massive arsehole? He has a catflap which he has free access to and always goes outside. He 100% did this to spite me because I wanted 30 minutes to myself in bed.

Stories of your own arsehole pets requested please; it may help me feel better.

My little bundle of love shits in the bath at least once a week. And uses the bath as his personal toilet all the time for wee wees. I shower now. Cant face a bath 😵😵

@HebeMumsnet You'd be surprised how high he'll be able to jump with a decent run up 😂

@Soubriquet

Not a cat but my old dog weed on floor of the house I was living in

This was normal for him. He never fully toilet trained.

However my fil was living with me at the time and he wasn’t impressed

So he put the dog out and threw water on him for good measure

As soon as the dog was let back in the house, he deliberately went upstairs and pissed all over FIL’s very expensive sheepskin coat

Good for the dog! Your FIL was well out of order throwing water on him, the dog wouldn't know to associate that with weeing on the floor! I applaud your dog for his revenge, lol

I remember a friend telling me about her friend who hadn't realised her cat had climbed into the tumble dryer and took a crap in it. I dont know how she would have missed it or whether it had done imbetween chores but when she returning to the kitchen some time later the kitchen stank of shit and had to sort the washing out again. I dont own cats but they do have seem to have a "dont give a fuck" attitude!!!

Arsehole cat brought a mouse indoors last night. I didn't realise until earlier when it suddenly appeared and ran from room to room with me in hot pursuit, then managed to get inside the tumble dryer - not the drum but the inner workings. I finally managed to get it out but it's now residing under the big fridge freezer which is too bulky for me to move. So, looks like I've got 2 pets now.

Defecating like that (and the lady who mentioned her cat pees on the floor) are both signs of distress in a cat.
The cat needs more attention; usually play time, or there is another cat in his territory stressing him out.

Be glad you dont have my cat who likes to wait til everyone is asleep (or on an important zoom call) and start masturbating loudly with cat wails outside the room! 🤣

A couple of years ago my father went a way for a few days to visit his mother. While there his aunt died , so he had to extend his trip to attend the funeral. I was taking care of his dogs , one is his labrador who is very attached to my father. For the first few days the lab was distraught , crying and lying on my fathers bed. After another few days however the lab dragged my dads quilt out into the yard and peed and pooped all over it 😂😂😂😂 a huge f you for leaving me. I never laughed so much

My previous cat was very spiteful when he didn't get his way. One morning I had left my shoes by the front door ready to jump into them and head off to work. He decided to wee inside them when I wasn't looking. Didn't spill a drop outside the shoes. He sat there and watched me jump into my shoes and then straight back out. Little so and so.

My cat shits in the bath!
He has a litter tray, free access to outside but he chooses the bath as his preferred toilet spot 😡

My other, very elderly cat is constantly misjudging distances. He has broken 3 glasses (full of wine) trying to jump from the dining table to the sofa with the side table in between 😡

Cats are arseholes! But we love them!!

My (late) cat once squatted over an open, fully packed suitcase and emptied his bladder over all our holiday clothes. This was around 10pm and the flight was 5am. I miss him but he was a total arsehole.

I have 3 cats. One likes to eat grass, come indoors and vomit on the sofa, rug or into the radiator. Arsehole. One is far too thick to understand the cat flap (despite our best efforts) and yowls at the most awkward moments to go outside or come in (just as I've sat down to a meal/got in the shower/dozed off to sleep) - arsehole. The youngest is delightful, but likes to dart between my feet so I nearly fall over - arsehole! But I still love them, so I'm probably also an arsehole

one of mine....idiotcat... likes to pee on things that come in from outside, particularly other people's bags or shoes, or suitcases, BUT not frequently enough to put us on constant alert.
he also is not keen on the Wifi router and will occasionally leave us a lovely puddle on the floor next to the table.

He is being a little troublesome atm as the dog we were fostering has been here longer than someone would like, so there's a fair bit of watering of dogbeds going on as well. I bet he'd pee on the dog if he thought the dog would not lick him while he was in reach.

His sister is much more refined and only fusses if the litter ( or trays) is not to her satisfaction at which point she will pee down a plughole...shower, hand basin, kitchen sink...whichever she pleases. Also she likes to pee in the bathroom tray and poo in the one on the landing.
What she deems as satisfactory varies on a daily basis...it's always catsan, but she doesn't like the deep trays, except when she really likes them. She will only use a fresh tray, except when she wants to pee in the tray her brother used, she will only pee in the bathroom tray unless there is someone trying to have a shower and then she loves to poo.

It's a good job they are pretty.

idiotcat will use any tray for anything but often goes over the edge....nearly all our litter trays are doubled up now to save the floors ..normal tray placed inside a giant tray.

We owned a Vietnamese pot bellied piglet named Vince for a week last summer. He was swiftly rehomed after nimbly jumping onto the sofa for a long, obviously satisfying pee. Twice. The smell of pig pee is quite something.

GOOD!!! That's one cat turd not in my garden...

One of my cats used to shat all over the mat by the kitchen sink a few years ago. Sometimes it was so bad the mat was beyond cleaning, so I'd replace it with another mat. Followed by another mat, and then another mat and so on until I'd replaced the mat at least 10 times in the space of less than a year.
By then I gave up buying replacement mats for the kitchen floor and she reverted to using her litter tray and hasn't shat anywhere inappropriate since. Drove me f-ing nuts at the time though, and she had the bollocking from hell each time 🙄😣

I wouldn't mind but there are mats elsewhere in the house and she doesn't bother with them! I'm pleased about that though😁

I voted Aibu, purely because if you have a cat you already know it's an arsehole! I will never forget the time my cat came into the living room one evening whilst my husband and I were sitting watching TV. My husband had a bowl of posh Turkish yoghurt on the coffee table on front of him to be eaten whilst we scrolled nexflix. Cat comes over and drops a live mouse into the bowl, to screams of no! and various expletives. And the poor little shellshocked mouse just sat there, covered in yoghurt whilst the cat made its escape, probably twirling it's whiskers with Machiavellian glee. Cats are arseholes.

Please get him checked out. Our elderly cat starting shitting in the house even though he had a cat flap and had never done it before. Diagnosed with a stomach tumour and pts 3 days later. If it’s out of character get him checked.

Cat from years ago, always marvellous at using cat flap for toiletry requirements, one night decided to do a dump in a pot plant next to tv right in front of me. Maybe she didn’t like my choice of programme. 😡

Lilies are poisonous to cats. Lily of the valley aren’t lilies. They may be poisonous to cats, but not because they are lilies. Or they may not be poisonous to cats, I don’t know.

I have a beautiful kitten, she's adorable

But she's got 3 litter trays in the house, and today I find she's been pissing under my bed instead. It's rank.

It's made my asthma awful recently getting used to her fur (and also the piss). But I've scrubbed it all off today and I still love her regardless😻

All cats are Arseholes!!

I have one that you open the door for then she hisses at you as if to say "about fucking time you cunt" and another that waits until my seedlings have just sprouted then digs them up and shits on the plant pot EVERY SINGLE TIME. On the plus side neither if them bring me dead (or half dead) animals and they always come sit with/on me when I'm feeling low or am poorly.

I worked on a 1000 piece jigsaw (with several inches of ALL WHITE around the entire border) and was down to about 20 pieces to go. I hated every minute, but am too stubborn to give up. Cat decided to jump up on the table, skidded over the box and knocked the entire thing to the floor. Broke into... well, 979 ish pieces. :(

Also hates - HATES - when we play scrabble. Has to knock first the bag of letters, then the dictionary, to the floor. Then comes and gently lifts up the letters to drop them onto the table in disgust. Every single game.

Has also cost us many many pennies for vet fees. Latterly for eating the skin of paperwhite lilies before I got to planting them. That one was almost fatal - and she's just now stopped having little fits. Keep them away!

My sister's car it a fucking arsehole. She invited some new work friends around to her house a few years ago. Wanted to impress so spent the whole week leading up to it cleaning and even freshened up some paint. They met in the pub and went back to her's, only to find that the cat had taken s massive shit balanced ontop of the TV.
Same cat shat in her hair while she was sleeping the night that she and her husband came back from honeymoon.

My cat is a furry bastard. She does the hanging her bum off the edge of the litter tray thing, wees in handbags, on laptop bags, PE kits, book bags - basically anything that smells of outdoors. She thinks I’m talking to her when I’m on a Zoom call and once came in and sicked up on my foot while I was presenting. But the best part... she’s objecting to the smell of my DS (age 10 and just beginning to get smelly). If he leaves ANY item of worn clothing / his duvet on his bedroom floor, she’s in like Flynn and pissing away. BUT... at least you lot all have the same problems!!

DH (the world's authority on cats) said its a stress thing when cats do that