Nan won't have vaccine

[PurpleYo]

But expects everyone to still be happy to meet with her once restrictions lift.

What would you do?

She says if it's her time it's her time, she's not bothered. Which is her choice of course but I obviously wouldn't feel that way about potentially having killed my Nan if I were the one to pass anything on!

She is 80. I am in my late 20s with young children in primary so still going to be a bit of a risk factor for a while.

@TheKeatingFive

Yes, of course, if the alternative is not seeing her at all! What are you actually saying? Look Nan- I refuse to ever see you again in case I pass a virus too you that kills you? That's ridiculous! If she has said she's willing to take the risk, then you have to accept that.

This

Again this

Her body her choice.

Also the vaccine dose not stop you getting the virus!

I'm sorry if this has already been suggested, but why don't you get some lateral flow testing kits for you? You can either collect them from the local centre or get them posted out to you because you have children in school. You can then test before you go to see her to give you peace of mind.

I feel for you op I really do. We have something similar in my family. Our children's godmother and my best friend is a full on covid denier conspiracy theorist etc... She is refusing the vaccine and I have accepted it as, well its her choice.

However, I have made MY choice and told her I won't be able to go and see her again until me and the kids a vaccinated. While a vaccine won't always prevent you from catching or passing on covid, all variations of the vaccine have been shown to significantly reduce the severity of the virus and its lethality.

I am not blackmailing my friend, I am making my own choices to. Its a two way street.

Maybe wait until you have all had your vaccinations and see how you feel then?

Seen the news tonight? Long covid? I would be begging for the vaccine rather than that.

You’d think so, wouldn’t you? But I’ve talked about my experiences of Long Covid on threads like this, but been ignored. It’s the old attitude of ‘it won’t happen to me.’ Until it does.

On the long covid issue - rather than relying on a vaccine (it's not my turn anyway) I'm hoping we've become much better at treating covid, thus avoiding the long term effects. Let's see. It seems to me that the approach of 'wait at home unless you're about the die' isn't the best one (but it was necessary at the beginning of course) and as things calm down we hopefully can take a more proactive approach to treating covid in the first place.

Also the vaccine dose not stop you getting the virus!

It's not 100 per cent effective, but it makes it far less likely that you will. Especially after both doses.

And even if you do get it, you probably won't be really seriously ill.

And you are much less likely to transmit it. Again, not 100 per cent but a considerable reduction in risk.

@oblada

Good points there, I agree with you: I think we have focused too much on the vaccine in this country. It’s the dismissive attitudes towards the Covid risk that really annoy me, not those suggesting alternative ways out of this.

These aren't a once in a lifetime vaccine are they ? It'll need to be every year similar to the flu I think.

We've still got another coupe of years to go through this pandemic I think - the Spanish flu later three years.
there will be more lockdowns and SD this winter I reckon - whether bc of a new variant or just because the NHS is under strain. IMO All this arguing over one individual decision on a vaccine uptake seems pointless. The vast bulk of people have taken it and vaccines don't need 100% uptake to be effective.

Your nan may not be here next year, you may not be here next year - use your common sense to decide what is important to you and live your life on whatever you decide.

These aren't a once in a lifetime vaccine are they ? It'll need to be every year similar to the flu I think. As I said upthread, I am standing aside this time round (and still being called selfish! ) because I think this will be a 3 or 4 times a year jab.

Likewise I don't understand why people think that a 'vaccination passport' will allow them to fly/go to pubs/restaurants - it will need to be in date, so at some stage they will be enforcing a 3-4 times a year jab on us if we want a decent life.

All those who are vaccine frantic (you can have mine) - are you prepared to be jabbed 3 times a year, and up to 4 to be able to get on a plane?

I'm not, not until they know what the long-term effects are.

@lorca

Yes I would be willing to have a minor jab 3 or 4 times a year to get on a plane. Its a minor jab not the labours of hercules.

I don't have a problem with you choosing not to have the vaccine; your body your choice. I do however have a problem with you choosing not to have the vaccine but lying to others and denying them the choice of whether to socialise with you without them having the vaccine themselves. You can have all the bodily autonomy you want but you have to respect other people's rights too. My friend isn't having the vaccine so I respect her choice to do so but am exercising my choice not to visit her with the kids until we are all vaccinated. That way if we contract covid from her then we are better protected from its worse effects.

Also freedom of choice does not mean freedom from consequences. Every choice has a consequence. Chossing not to have the vaccine means you can't always travel, or visit with people that you would like too.

People refusing to spend time with you is not blackmail, it's a consequence of your own decision.

@underneaththeash

I wouldn't meet her either.

She's being ridiculous and selfish.

Oh the S word again.

No she isn't.

I am getting vaccinated myself, I really couldn't care less whether some random 80 year old gets vaccinated or not. Her choice. Why do so many MNers feel like they have to police the actions of others which don't affect them?

As for the OP, if you are worried about her giving it to you, it's not unreasonable not to visit her until you've been vaccinated.

Lorca - I agree with you.
I'd rather wait and see. I'm not at risk so my own assessment is that it's better to wait until more is known re the vaccine before getting it myself. By then I'm hoping treating covid will also be much better than before.
It's not selfish to not have the vaccine. It's a reasonable individual risk assessment. We don't need everyone to have the vaccine. We need to vaccinate the more vulnerable / those who want it / enough people to push the curb down and be more proactive in treating covid for the cases that do come up.

Yes I would be willing to have a minor jab 3 or 4 times a year to get on a plane. Its a minor jab not the labours of hercules. ok, you'd be putting an unknown collection of chemicals into your body up to 4 times a year, not knowing the potential side effects (either short-term or long-term) of these?

You have a lot more faith in this shower of shite lying Politicians than I do. But yeah, go ahead and be a guinea-pig for me! Thanks.

I am absolutely horrified at the hounding of Xenobitch to bully her into saying why she is not getting the vaccine (yet)! She said she isn't getting it - the reason is actually none of anyone else's business. Likewise with the 'liars' - none of your business. If you want the vaccine to 'feel safe' (whatever that means) then you are at little risk from unvaccinated people.

So yes I will lie if I want to, for a quiet life or to people who don't need to know and shouldn't be asking. If you are vaccinated, you'll be at little risk from me. If you aren't, then you take the risk, same as I am.

@lorca you're talking utter rubbish - it's really as simple as that!

@lorca

So yes I will lie if I want to, for a quiet life or to people who don't need to know and shouldn't be asking. If you are vaccinated, you'll be at little risk from me. If you aren't, then you take the risk, same as I am.

Yeah, sod all those people with cancer and damaged immune systems, eh.

If you had the courage of your convictions or any decency you would tell the truth. Lying is dishonest, cowardly, shameful and contemptible.

@lorca

It's not politicians I have faith in (incidentally I am not living in the UK) it's science and Dr's I listen too. I look up the studies, I examine the data, I listen to my Dr and I make an educated decision based on science.

Just as I am sure you have made your own considered decision no?

However I, unlike you, have the power of my convictions and won't lie to someone and deny them their own right to make their own educated decisions. By all means wait, I respect your autonomy, but don't lie. Stand by your choices and respect other peoples. Including others rights to distance themselves from you. That is not blackmail or coercion, its consequences or your own carefully considered decision.

Lying is what makes you selfish and disrespectful, not declining a vaccine.

Also In my country we do have vaccine passports. We have to get boosters of course but nowhere near 3 or 4 times a year lol.

You also can decline to have them, no one hangs over you checking. Some jobs do have it as a requirement (nurses, Dr's, carers, childcare workers etc) but most don't. Again you can decline, and every vaccination decision is made between you and your Dr and takes into account your medical history.

It really isn't this dramatic and dystopian tool you seem to think.

Also many countries have had vaccination requirements in return for a visa for years. Its not a new thing at all. The idea of having to get a vaccination before travelling is actually standard, coronavirus vaccine is not that different.

@startrek90 out of interest what vaccines are compulsory for Drs & nurses where you live?

@may17th

The basic ones really. Measles, mumps, rubella, diphtheria, polio, tb, meningitis, tetanus, basically the same you would give a baby plus chickenpox (never had the vaccine as a kid in the UK so when I had a check up the Dr offered it to me)

Also you have the option of the flu jab and I think one of the meningitis ones is, basically anything that wouldn't be in the standard immunisation plan for kids. Like I said every immunisation is done with your Dr, taking into account your individual medical history. Obviously if you are allergic or compromised in some way then you get a Dr's note. They have also introduced mandatory passport checks for public schools and kindergartens. Children's must be fully vaccinated or medically excused before going into school/childcare