To ask if anyone else seemed to spend their childhood permanently thirsty and/or needing the toilet?

[Cheeseandlobster]

I remember another thread a while ago that touched on this and I was surprised I wasnt the only one.

I was born late 70's and my parents used to take us on lots of trips to random towns on the train, often changing trains in London. They would never bring or buy a drink until we had arrived and walked around a bit. Then they would buy one big bottle of fizzy drink which we all shared, often after salty fish and chips. I remember being more thirsty than I have ever been as an adult. They bought me a drink once when I cried as I was so thirsty and I was pleading with them saying I would pay them back with my pocket money.

Additionally they were obsessed with not missing connections for trains and we were never allowed to stop to use the toilet so I also spent a lot of time absolutely desperate for the toilet, again where I was nearly crying with the pain but not allowed to go unless there happenned to be a toilet on the train

I swore when ds was born he could always have a drink or use the toilet no matter what we were doing. And now I am older I am just incredulous they let us suffer this way.

They were toxic in many many ways, but was this normal for the 80's? Was anyone else deprived of a drink or toilet facilities for prolonged periods of time?

I'm sorry your parents were abusive op but no, o don't think that abuse was widespread in the 80s. Benign neglect yes but that isn't behaviour benign

That isn't benign behaviour. I can't type

Yes! Not to that extent however I grew up in the 90s and remember going for a day out with my friends family. We stopped for a picnic and had fish and chips. I asked my friend if we could have a drink and they didn’t have one? At all! It was awful. 3 kids and two adults and no drink

Not normal I wouldn't think, though I was a late 80s child. Parents would never buy food out (couldn't afford it) but always brought water and sandwiches. And remember many service station /side of the road loo stops

That wasn’t on, OP.

I had permanently freezing feet as a child, and to this day I marvel at the fact that in winter my feet are never cold. I just accepted it as normal back then.

We can only do better.

I can completely identify with you, as I was always thirsty (used to drink out of the taps in the loos at school), and my Dad would never stop the car, if we needed a wee. He had his set places that he would stop, and we couldn't deviate from that. I remember once being desperate for the loo for over an hour, to the point where I was in real pain. If I asked, he would ignore me, then I would know that I could ask once more, but if I ever asked for anything three times, he would turn on me. However, this isn't normal - my childhood was pretty abusive, and my Dad has NPD.

Now, I never recognise when I am thirsty, and have mild toilet anxiety (used to be a lot worse, but has got better over the years).

I wouldn’t say deprived, but it wasn’t the norm (in my family or amongst those of my friends) for there to be all the drink and snack stops people seem to build into daily life nowadays. My parents would give us a drink with lunch if we were out and that was about it. I don’t remember actually being thirsty or having to beg for drinks. My parents would also sometimes do the “teaching a lesson” spiel if we declined the toilet at a convenient spot only to say we needed one half an hour later where there wasn’t one, and make us wait for a bit. That would usually then be a “wee behind a bush” scenario though.

But your experience is clearly a bit different if your parents were, as you say, not great parents in other ways as well.

My dad used to have a thing about not stopping for the loo on (very) long trips, and if he did eventually agree to stop it would be for us to squat by the side of the road. I always stop somewhere with a loo for my kids as soon as is practical.

Mine were like that. All of our extended family lived a 2 and a half hour drive away, my parents used to travel back and forth about twice a month, usually on a Friday straight after school. We were never allowed to stop for a wee despite me and my siblings usually coming out of school desperate. The worst part of the journey was them smoking in the car. They were both chain smokers and it would only take a few minutes of us being sat in the car for us to get headaches and nausea. I complained so much about the smoke on one journey that my dad pulled over onto the hard shoulder of the motorway and back handed me across the face. They also never believed in snacking between meals so we’d go from a small sandwich lunch at 12pm to dinner usually at around 7pm. I was constantly sick and hungry with uti’s/chest/ear infections as a child

Some of these are shocking. It just seems so abusive now. Surely having a drink and using the toilet are both basic human right's?
@Insomnia5 I remembed moving house and we were given a sandwich at lunch and then nothing else. I ate toothpaste I was so hungry

I grew up with a friend whose parents were like that. She and her brother were not allowed to have any drinks, even water, aside from meal times, and hell would freeze over before they could use a toilet while out anywhere. Creepy, abusive parenting.

I suspect that it's pretty common and it explains why schools encourage kids to bring in water bottles to drink during the day.

@SleepingStandingUp

I'm sorry your parents were abusive op but no, o don't think that abuse was widespread in the 80s. Benign neglect yes but that isn't behaviour benign

Benign neglect wasn’t widespread either. Strangely enough, parents in those far off days loved and looked after their children just as parents do these days. Oh, and we didn’t resort to screens.

I’m fed up being lumped with the minority of 70s/80s parents who mistreated their children. There are plenty of hopeless parents these days too.

90s child here. My parents only bought fizzy drinks , orange juice and milk. We never had water. I used to be very thirsty after getting to school and would guzzle my OJ immediately, nothing else to drink all day. Then it was off to the childminder where it was a rotation of cheap sausage / pizzas and chips or minced beef and potatoes 🤢 no drinks there either. It's a wonder I survived at all.

I relate to some degree. I remember being scared of telling my Dad I needed a wee when we would go out as a family as he would get annoyed by it. We wouldn't ever be as thirsty as you described but we would be hungry instead. We would be out all day and he would complain that I would be hungry at 3pm after having not eaten since breakfast.

I don't get it at all. As an adult I can't interpret it in a way that makes sense to me. We didn't have any money to buy food when out so why didn't we pack lunches instead? Why would you complain that your child needs the loo? It's baffling. I was raised in the late 90s/early 00s.

No, this was not my experience and it is not normal or ok. I’m sorry this happened to you.

I remember gallons of orange squash and ribena and being asked to go to the toilet every 5 mins. We were not allowed fizzy drinks.

I think we must all have been a bit dehydrated at school in the 80s/90s, I don’t remember ever taking a water bottle to school, but at home there was open access to drink whenever we wanted.

Funnily enough, DS15 has just come home from school and said he forgot his water bottle and I was genuinely sad for him, ran him a pint of water and chatted about the options available to him at school at the moment if that happens again. In truth, if he didn’t consider it a badge of pride to spend his lunch account money down to the last 2p, he could have bought a bottle. But he does, so maybe there will be a lesson learned.

I had to pee in the dogs bowl in the boot of the car as my dad refused to stop driving around Blackpool illuminations of course it went bloody everywhere and my mom had to clean it up when we got home I dont remember my family taking drinks anywhere I was allowed one cup of weak squash when I got home from school if I was good after I had walked the dogs and done chores I remember going to Silverstone one year and drinking out the taps clearly labeled not for drinking because I was thirsty

Yes! I’m quite relieved to find this thread as I have thought about this issue a fair bit in recent years since having DC and reflecting on differences between their childhood and mine.
I’m a child of the early 80’s. We had no car and spent hours on public transport and going shopping or visiting relatives at the weekends. There would rarely be a drink available, often all day. I remember distinctly asking for a drink during a day out to a beachside town in the middle of summer and being told ‘we’re not made of money’.
At home we would have a drink with a meal, but encouraged to only drink it afterwards as DM believed if we drank with the food we would be full up with the drink and not eat properly. When we did have a drink it would be a cup of cordial. Drinking water only became normal to me when I left home for university.
With hindsight, all very odd. Or maybe just an 80’s thing.

I have remarked on this a few times to my DH and asked if he experienced similar as a child - he didn’t - and he teases me whenever I bring it up as though I’m claiming sympathy for something silly. But it was a real thing!

We would never dream of taking our DCs out for the day now without bringing along or purchasing water and snacks.

What I remember is secondary school, where the people who had lunch first would have finished by 12.15 and even in the summer when it was hot, had to go without a drink until they got home, in some cases at 16.30. Insane.

I totally relate to this, my parents would not stop on pain of death and there was often nothing to drink. Even now many years later I get worried about needing the loo on journeys even though I know I can stop no problem.

My parents were very abusive and this was one of the ways it showed

I was a child in the mid 70s. I don't think we were ever given water. We lived on sugary, milky tea and diluted squash in our packed lunches.
We were a large family and quite poor so never really went anywhere for toilet stops to be an issue.

To all the people who have had a similar experience as the OP, have you ever now as adults asked your parents why they didn't encourage you to drink water / take water to drink?