To ask if anyone else seemed to spend their childhood permanently thirsty and/or needing the toilet?

[Cheeseandlobster]

I remember another thread a while ago that touched on this and I was surprised I wasnt the only one.

I was born late 70's and my parents used to take us on lots of trips to random towns on the train, often changing trains in London. They would never bring or buy a drink until we had arrived and walked around a bit. Then they would buy one big bottle of fizzy drink which we all shared, often after salty fish and chips. I remember being more thirsty than I have ever been as an adult. They bought me a drink once when I cried as I was so thirsty and I was pleading with them saying I would pay them back with my pocket money.

Additionally they were obsessed with not missing connections for trains and we were never allowed to stop to use the toilet so I also spent a lot of time absolutely desperate for the toilet, again where I was nearly crying with the pain but not allowed to go unless there happenned to be a toilet on the train

I swore when ds was born he could always have a drink or use the toilet no matter what we were doing. And now I am older I am just incredulous they let us suffer this way.

They were toxic in many many ways, but was this normal for the 80's? Was anyone else deprived of a drink or toilet facilities for prolonged periods of time?

There wasn’t the obsession with carrying round bottles of water that there is now.

I wasn’t allowed a drink with dinner because I used to fill myself up with a drink and then not eat anything. But I certainly wasn’t left to dehydrate!

I was in primary school through the 70's

I don't remember not being allowed drinks... we had juice or water or milk at school in the morning and afternoon. And my mum would always let us drink when ever we liked
I hated squash... and orange juice.

Loved those water fountains especially in the summer! They were in all the local parks too

Logical side of me is thinking you must have had some kind of a drink to need the loo on these long car journeys??

It's really interesting to read. I was at school in the 80s. I had milk or tea at breakfast, a bottle of milk at morning break, another bottle of milk at lunch, then weak squash at dinner plus extra water if we wanted it (but generally didn't). Compared to these days, it doesn't feel a lot, but I never felt thirsty except on very hot summers days where we just used the school water fountain a bit more.

The car trip and not drinking was definitely a thing though. Service stations were less frequent in those days so planning was important. That and the "just in case wee".

Yeah, pretty much OP. I don't really remember feeling thirst as a child, but we were never allowed to snack. Meals only. I mean, we couldn't even help ourselves to fruit.
It's no wonder I am so obsessed by food

However, we have swung too far the other way. I work in a primary school, and the constant drinking and water bottles is a pain in the arse.

tbh can i say that if you have trains to catch with connections time cannot be wasted,
there may have been loos on trains though?

i was allowed fruit between meals.

@FrequentFlyer96 At home we would have a drink with a meal, but encouraged to only drink it afterwards as DM believed if we drank with the food we would be full up with the drink and not eat properly.
My mum was exactly the same.

My son was born in the 1980's and I prided myself on always offering him a drink regularly (he'd never ask - probably because he never went thirsty) and I'd leave to go anywhere early enough that we could always go to the loo if we needed too. That seems like pretty bad parenting to me.

Gosh, I've remembered something else. This is in the early 80s. If we drove to the shop, my parents used to leave me in the car. I went through a phase of being absolutely petrified of being locked in the car alone, and begged them to take me into the post office or wherever with them, but they never did. I was fine if another adult or peer was left with me. But often felt the weight of my younger siblings being left with me. Fat lot of good they'd be in an emergency!

I mean, what the fuck? Why would you treat your kid like that. And why weren't we encouraged to ever find the words to express how we were feeling back then? I probably just internalised the panic and anxiety. We were suppressed. Our feelings were constantly being dismissed.
I'm glad society is a kinder place for kids now (generally speaking).

Goodness no, my childhood wasn’t like that. I’m mid 40s and remember lots of toilet stops and drinks-usually orange squash (nice and warm from the car boot, if a hot day!).

We were expected to hold a bit on long car journeys. But not unreasonably so? We learned to give our parents 20 or 30 mins notice of needing a toilet and they would plan in a stop at the next services. I don't remember being denied drinks or food at normal intervals although as a pp said we wouldnt have bought things out but always taken packed lunches and bottles of squash or cartons or whatever.

I was in my 20s before I discovered I DO like sandwiches it's just my dm couldnt make a decent one.

How is it possible to make a bad sandwich? Its hardly haute cuisine.

We used to go on long school trips (on the coach) with one beaker of squash to last the whole day (maximum 300mls of fluid), so yes we must have always been thirsty.

sunday afternoons/evenings spent in the car park of the pub with lemonade and a bag of crisps.

in the car listening to the radio.

@eatsleepread

Gosh, I've remembered something else. This is in the early 80s. If we drove to the shop, my parents used to leave me in the car. I went through a phase of being absolutely petrified of being locked in the car alone, and begged them to take me into the post office or wherever with them, but they never did. I was fine if another adult or peer was left with me. But often felt the weight of my younger siblings being left with me. Fat lot of good they'd be in an emergency!

I mean, what the fuck? Why would you treat your kid like that. And why weren't we encouraged to ever find the words to express how we were feeling back then? I probably just internalised the panic and anxiety. We were suppressed. Our feelings were constantly being dismissed.
I'm glad society is a kinder place for kids now (generally speaking).

Because 80s parenting was largely shit. I imagine 70s wouldn't have been hugely better. Lots of "because I said so", hitting and authoritarianism.

I'm glad for people who didn't have experiences like this, but sadly it does seem common, and certainly society in general thought it was OK.

It did seem to be a thing to not give children drinks under the fear of wetting themselves. I used to drink out of the taps in the loos at school. I started taking water to school in the mid 90's after reading articles in New Scientist about the need to rehydrate.

But it was a general cultural thing - some people would have 3 cups to coffee/tea over a working day as their sole source of hydration.

80s child. Dad always bought drinks and took us to toilets as kids and we travelled on the train a lot - maybe twice a week. But this was one of the cultural differences between me and my working class white English friends. In my culture we generally do spend more on food and drink even when dirt poor like we were - it’s often considered better value to get a meal or another experience than buy something for someone. I know my white working class friends had very similar experiences to you - one of my friends used to get driven to Leeds every weekend to see her mum (3-4 hours minimum) and they never stopped on the way or got anything to eat. And if they arrived too late they wouldn’t eat at her mum’s either - that was unthinkable to me.

I used to go without lunch or access to a drink in the middle of the day during half term and some holidays, unless I happened to be playing at a friend's house. Because my parents were out at work so I had to go out. This meant days sheltering in an old barn at the edge of a woodland in heavy rain more than once. I remember drinking from taps at the local stable and saving my pocket money for bread rolls from the shop. I don't remember many days away. But they involved car journeys where I wasn't allowed a drink until we arrived as I had and still do problems with confidence after multiple UTI's (I wonder why?!) . This behaviour wasn't what got me temporarily removed from my parents though. That took worse. Unfortunately. It breaks my heart to think there are plenty of children probably going through this though. I don't think the passing of time has done much to impact the numbers of adults that should never be allowed to be responsible for all but the hardiest of cactii

I remember being desperately thirsty at school. PE on hot days, coach trip there and back in a sweltering coach, noone thought to offer us a drink during or after. Or sports days sitting in full sun. Even just normal days there would be a queue for the water fountain and if you didn't get to the front hard luck.

With the family we did take drinks, often not a lot and shared so we would be fiercely watching that each other didn't take more than a sip.

Nothing like you describe OP, but thirsty to the point of feeling awful yes. So I think you were on an abusive end of a scale that already tended to less availability of drinks than now.

*i was born mid 70's

@eatsleepread

Yeah, pretty much OP. I don't really remember feeling thirst as a child, but we were never allowed to snack. Meals only. I mean, we couldn't even help ourselves to fruit. It's no wonder I am so obsessed by food

However, we have swung too far the other way. I work in a primary school, and the constant drinking and water bottles is a pain in the arse.

I could have written both parts of your post. I feel very indulgent as an adult if I have a snack, as I wasn't allowed to have them now.

And I also work in a primary school, some of the kids only ask to use the loo when their friends are in there. Subtle But we do limit them to one at a time in there because there's only one toilet anyway, and some of them will be mean to others out of our sight. The answer is never no, it just is sometimes that they need to wait a short while.

I do remember begging my parents to pull the car over so I could use the loo on car trips, my dad was nicer about it than my mom. Definitely was not deprived of drinks but I have never liked water very much.

@SplunkPostGres

Logical side of me is thinking you must have had some kind of a drink to need the loo on these long car journeys??

We were on trains. I used to drink before I left the house. I was allowed water at home. Possibly I tried to drink enough to ward off needing a drink for as long as possible. We had a 45 min walk to the train station. A fast walk at my dads pace so I probably needed a drink at this point. Then another 45 mins into London. Then anything from 1 hour 20 to 2 hours on another train depending on which town we were visiting. Followed by at least an hour or so walking around before a drink was purchased. That's a long time to go without a drink I think

I grew up in the 80s / 90s and certainly never remember carrying bottles of water round all the time like we do now. There'd be water or squash accessible at home and a drink with a meal if we were out or at school but otherwise nothing.

That's not to say what the OP described was 'normal' though; if I asked for a drink I wouldn't have been denied one, I just don't ever remember being thirsty enough to ask.