To ask if anyone else seemed to spend their childhood permanently thirsty and/or needing the toilet?

[Cheeseandlobster]

I remember another thread a while ago that touched on this and I was surprised I wasnt the only one.

I was born late 70's and my parents used to take us on lots of trips to random towns on the train, often changing trains in London. They would never bring or buy a drink until we had arrived and walked around a bit. Then they would buy one big bottle of fizzy drink which we all shared, often after salty fish and chips. I remember being more thirsty than I have ever been as an adult. They bought me a drink once when I cried as I was so thirsty and I was pleading with them saying I would pay them back with my pocket money.

Additionally they were obsessed with not missing connections for trains and we were never allowed to stop to use the toilet so I also spent a lot of time absolutely desperate for the toilet, again where I was nearly crying with the pain but not allowed to go unless there happenned to be a toilet on the train

I swore when ds was born he could always have a drink or use the toilet no matter what we were doing. And now I am older I am just incredulous they let us suffer this way.

They were toxic in many many ways, but was this normal for the 80's? Was anyone else deprived of a drink or toilet facilities for prolonged periods of time?

I remember going on a school residential trip in Y6. Early 90s. We didn't have water bottles. Breakfast we weren't allowed a drink because we had a piece of fruit. I remember us all being desperate for a drink and being banned from getting drinks from a vending machine. We all had to try and get water leaning under the sink. We then didn't have a drink till lunch till we had a small carton of juice. This was mid summer and we were walking everywhere. I would be furious if this happened to my child.

The drinking yes. I spent a lot of time thirsty and I wasn't ever allowed a drink with dinner. My DM claimed at the time it stopped me from eating but most definitely not the case because frankly until the last few years my huge appetite was a problem for my weight. But no never allowed a drink.

I hated it but there was a lot of small controlling things. Death from a thousand papercuts. I never limit my dc from a drink at dinner . I generally don't get them a drink while out but certainly for the last year we are never more than 5 minutes from going home. They always have water in their school bags and before lockdown if we were out for the day took water with us.

I wonder if it was parenting at the time or that my DP were controlling. I remember things like being incredibly Carsick and being made to sit for hours on end in the car with no bag no anything and then being punished when unwell (which i always was). For years I thought it was just my parents (they have a very long rapsheet) but a friend told me she had the same thing.

@CinnamonStar

I grew up in the 80s.

I recall it not being usual to carry drinks or snacks round, or to eat or drink between meals.

At school we had a drink with lunch and access to a water fountain at break times.

When we went out for the day we would take a picnic. There would be plenty to eat and drink for lunch (I had a Snoopy thermos, I recall).

After we had eaten, it would all be put back in the boot of the car, we didn't carry it round.

Before setting of for home, we would all have another drink from our flasks, and maybe an apple or something. And we would use the public toilets. Then the flasks would be replaced in the car boot again - we didn't have them for the journey.

This is how I remember it too. There just wasn't the culture of drinkig as much.

Drinks weren't available in school day apart from with lunch or water fountain in summer, no free milk in my school. I found it really odd when I went to university as mature student there was a policy of ten minute comfort break for every hour of lectures and people would go to the toilet at every break after sipping water through lecture. They had been in school with "drinking for thinking" bottles on tables at all times.

Yes this was me. It was the 1970's.

I used to eye up the small bottle of diluted orange quash that was to do 5 people a full day in the sun and know it was going to be another thirsty day. No sun cream or hats in those days either, you fried to a crisp and removed sheets of burnt skin in the following days. And the warm wet flannel wrapped in a plastic bag to wipe sticky hands on, I used to fantasise about sucking it when I got unbearably thirsty.

And the same as you, not allowed to stop to use the loo. My mum used to help us by getting my dad to drive at night on long journeys so we slept through most of what would have been great discomfort. The trip to see extended family in the 1970's with poor roads took upwards of 7 hours without a toilet stop.

I always carry drinks now and always encouraged my children to ask for what they needed. I just thought being thirsty was normal.

I went to a private school and we werent given a drink with lunch. Why - madness. Late 70’s early eighties. And yes to being left on your own, probably as there weren’t after school and holiday clubs. Also left alone when my parents went out at night. Probably about 11/12 . I was petrified but yes like others would have never have thought to say anything.

I think only the people who had some experience are posting so not a good representation of what it was like for all. 90s kid, none of this happened to me. We were fed well and healthily, drinks were always available and always stopped at services.
All of my friends were the same and not well off either, normal working class.

@Inthevirtualwaitingroom

tbh can i say that if you have trains to catch with connections time cannot be wasted, there may have been loos on trains though?

I just think you need to factor in loo breaks. My dad was fixated on getting the best connection. We would often go from Clapham Junction where 2 trains would be leaving around the same time and he would wait at the top of the stairs to see which platform the first train was coming in on. I always prayed it would be the platform we were at because if it transpired the first train was coming in on another platform they would run like billio to get to that platform. I couldnt run that fast down steps and was always frightened they would leave me behind.

If we went from Waterloo East the trains usually had toilets as they were mainly long distance trains travelling down to Kent and they usually went from the same platform so that was a relief. But not all trains had toilets and there were some very uncomfortable journeys

I was born in the 90s and whilst don't remember pain or distress like you're describing, I definitely do remember needing the loo a lot and being thirsty a lot when out and about and a lot of "you can go/get one when we get home and we'll be home soon" when we wouldn't actually be home for ages. The drinks issue was partly money as they didn't have much money to be buying drinks out, though why they didn't just bring water bottles or something for us I have no idea. Toilet was because both of them are very germ phobic and very very rarely use public toilets themselves and they didn't want us to either. I became the opposite of both as a teenager and I only have a toddler but I take a water bottle for her with us everywhere and let her go the toilet anywhere.

Yes, 70’s & early 80’s.
I remember being in a chemistry lesson looking at a clear beaker full of clear water wanting overwhelming to grab it and neck it.

Hungry too, I was constantly hungry. Food intake limited. Smelling school dinners cooking while in class feeling so hungry I was nauseous.
Packed lunches being meagre, looking longingly at my friends lovely full lunch boxes with lovely soft white bread sandwiches, chocolate biscuits, juice, crisps and a never ending magic box of more and more foods appearing.

Not having any heating on in the depths of winter at home because they couldn’t afford to have it on, my job was to fill all the hot water bottles for everyone in the house at bedtime.
Getting dressed under the covers in the morning for school because you could see your breath outside the bed covers in the bedroom.

Bleak, bloody bleak.

At primary school we were not allowed a drink with our lunch. We would queue up for water after. Something to do with digestion.

But also I don't remember adults walking around with bottled water, coffee etc which is the norm these days.

We used to go to the seaside which was 2 hours away. I used the loo before the trip but I would want to go again after 1 and a half hours. Dad would stop if I was very bad, but I had to be seen to be sensible, no guzzling water in the car, using the loo at the seaside when we passed one.

There was no suncream ever. I remember the backs of my legs burnt at the beach and no shade. My parents didnt think to bring trousers or something to cover burnt legs. They would say it is good to get a colour. I found getting burnt on top of red burning awful.

We would bring picnics and flasks along with drinking water. In fairness I was never hungry as a child. I could help myself to water when I liked. We drank lemonade at the weekend and water on the weekdays. I wasn't allowed on playdates/visit a friend etc. Maybe it was just as well if they were all giving out tiny drinks on a hot day. My grandparents minded me so I could get water anytime, lemonade in the summer.

Children's needs and health were definitely taken less seriously then, in general. Children were very quiet then and wouldn't ask for toilets etc. I remember visiting people and asking my mother in a hushed voice about going. I didn't like going to places where I don't know the schedule for meals and toilets.

Late 70s /80s child. We got milky sugary tea , diluting juice or milk at meal.times and if we were away for the day, got these on a flask and the occasional can of irn bru. We were encourage to drink Scotland's amber nectar (couldn't drink the tap water down here as it is disgusting). Dad was quite strict about "make sure you go to the toilet before we set off " and I can remember being bursting for the loo but not any particular massive delay or anything . Mum usually bought loads of pieces (sandwiches) in cheese or ham . Nothing fancy. We sometimes got fish n chips .My Nana and mum were a bit obsessed with whether we needed a poo and if we got dosed sometimes with that laxative chocolate . At school we got school milk and I honestly can't remember what we drunk at lunch time either at primary or secondary .

Mid 70s kid. I went to 4 schools and none had a water fountain, nor did we have water bottles. So from leaving home at 7.45 for the bus, you got your milk at break in primary, and a glass of water at lunch (one jug of water per table), then home 3.30 to 5.30.

I got headaches once or twice a week and would have to go to bed for some hours, especially in summer. My parents didn't stop me drinking water or milk and I often downed a pint with supper. But on a day out bottled water didn't exist so you'd get a slurp from cupped hands when going to the loo and that was it. It wasn't like my parents were getting liquid and I wasn't, it was just how things were.

Public toilets were often disgustingly skanky and smelly so understandably mum didn't want to use them, (and ones in stations cost money which would be deemed a waste) and fewer trains had loos too - half our local trains still had compartments rather than carriages. It was much more common for kids to wet themselves and be told to just take their pants off and get on with whatever they were doing. Most small kids seemed to smell of wee, IME.

And many more screaming kids in supermarkets, because people thought feeding between meals was bad. Soon as the sippy cup and breadstick were invented, supermarkets became bearable!

Grew up in the 70-80's and was never denied water. Our school has an out door water fountain. But my father not stopping for anyone to have a wee in a car journey was definitely something that I experienced. It gave my constant anxiety as a child and I dreaded long car journeys because of it. Even now if I travel in the same car as my parents he kicks up a stink if we have to stop and I'm 50 years old.

I can't believe how little I used to drink.

Probably nothing at breakfast (except the milk from the cereal)

A tiny beaker of weak squash for lunch

There was a water fountain but boys used to wee in it so we never used it.

I used to lick my hands after washing them at the loo to get some water

A small mug of weak squash after school and a digestive.

Then a pint of squash in a jug to share between 2 adults and 2 kids for tea.

Nothing after,

I drink more than that before 9am most days. No exaggeration.

I’m so sorry to hear you were treated like that. I’m a child of the 80s and didn’t experience anything like that. Yes, sure I was occasionally thirsty and desperate for a wee on a car journey but it wasn’t a regular thing. Usually on a long journey in the car Mum would pack a thermos of coffee for her and Dad with the little cups on the top of the flask and there would be a big old bottle of made-up orange squash for us kids and a pretty much constant stream of snacks, fruit and chocolate.

I do remember being thirsty at school though and drinking from the weird metallic tasting water fountain.

Another 70's child here ....got proper toilet issues - get real anxiety if l am going on a journey unless l am driving and never realised why until now .
Promised my daughter l will never get cross with her for needing the loo.

Definitely not normal. At junior school in the 70's we had a water fountain available and at lunchtime there was a big metal jug of water on each table.

Most friends' parents had a no drinks at dinner rule so the fact I could have a quarter pint of squash with my tea made me feel superior

@Kroptopbelly

Yes, 70’s & early 80’s. I remember being in a chemistry lesson looking at a clear beaker full of clear water wanting overwhelming to grab it and neck it.

Hungry too, I was constantly hungry. Food intake limited. Smelling school dinners cooking while in class feeling so hungry I was nauseous.
Packed lunches being meagre, looking longingly at my friends lovely full lunch boxes with lovely soft white bread sandwiches, chocolate biscuits, juice, crisps and a never ending magic box of more and more foods appearing.

Not having any heating on in the depths of winter at home because they couldn’t afford to have it on, my job was to fill all the hot water bottles for everyone in the house at bedtime.
Getting dressed under the covers in the morning for school because you could see your breath outside the bed covers in the bedroom.

Bleak, bloody bleak.

This is very similar to my childhood. Same era. When people claim fondly that in the 80s there were few few overweight children I always think that on the other hand there were a lot of hungry children. We, and lots of our friends families were really struggling. Things were hard. We were often hungry.

Some of these posts are a teensy bit dramatic. 35 years ago there wasn't the obsession with 'HYDRATION' that there is now. You don't actually need to be quaffing water every single second of your life to be healthy. As as kid I didn't drink that much, when we went out for the day we weren't laden down with backpacks full of water, and guess what? My kidneys are fine! Some kids drink so much they do ruin their appetites, and eat too many snacks.
I'm not excusing the clearly abusive ones of course. I'm just saying non-stop drinking is a modern invention so don't be too quick to slate all parents of a certain age.

My inlaws are really weird about eating and drinking whilst out and about and going to the loo. FIL has collapsed a few times in hot weather from just not drinking any water at all and standing in boiling sun for hours on end. I have never known either of them use a public/restaurant/cafe toilet EVER in 20 years. They also share pieces of cake as well 🤣🤣 and if you’re having a roast dinner at teatime they just won’t eat anything else at all, all day.

I grew up in the 70's and my most vivid memories of primary school are queueing up at the one toilet sink for a glug of water at breaktime. All those mouths! And sitting in the baking sun on sports day absolutely parched. When my own DC had sports day it was hats, suncream, gazebos the works.
From the minute they were toddlers I've lugged round beakers and bottles of water all over the world.
I don't remember my own parents restricting fluids or the toilet so it couldn't have been an issue.