To ask if anyone else seemed to spend their childhood permanently thirsty and/or needing the toilet?

[Cheeseandlobster]

I remember another thread a while ago that touched on this and I was surprised I wasnt the only one.

I was born late 70's and my parents used to take us on lots of trips to random towns on the train, often changing trains in London. They would never bring or buy a drink until we had arrived and walked around a bit. Then they would buy one big bottle of fizzy drink which we all shared, often after salty fish and chips. I remember being more thirsty than I have ever been as an adult. They bought me a drink once when I cried as I was so thirsty and I was pleading with them saying I would pay them back with my pocket money.

Additionally they were obsessed with not missing connections for trains and we were never allowed to stop to use the toilet so I also spent a lot of time absolutely desperate for the toilet, again where I was nearly crying with the pain but not allowed to go unless there happenned to be a toilet on the train

I swore when ds was born he could always have a drink or use the toilet no matter what we were doing. And now I am older I am just incredulous they let us suffer this way.

They were toxic in many many ways, but was this normal for the 80's? Was anyone else deprived of a drink or toilet facilities for prolonged periods of time?

But there is a huuuuuge spectrum here, isn't there? Some posters are definitely recalling very abusive behaviour. But it was practically unheard of to go out with a plastic bottle of water always clutched in your hand until the 90s. And the constant fear of dehydration is very much a product of the bottled water industry. People went out for trips without drinks because it never occurred to them that they would need a drink.

We would be allowed a plastic beaker of squash if we were going on a day trip and that was a massive treat. Then you'd get home and mum would put the kettle on and we'd all agree we were gasping. Even if we'd only been out for half an hour...

I don’t remember being thirsty though and my DM always needed to stop for a wee so I definitely had the opportunity to go to the toilet regularly. In fact she’d make us ‘try for a wee’ whenever we were anyway near a toilet when we were on holiday!

I remember being a kid in the back seat being driven home (30 min drive) after a day at the coast, I was so thirsty and kept telling my mum so. Eventually I sucked on a wet wipe - which was obviously horrid and I will never forget that -

That would of been in the 90s

I will never take my child out without a water bottle.

YES!!! this is exactly what I recall of family trips out when i was a kid. A shared carton of juice would be considered a treat (amongst 4 children!!!).

Sorry you had an abusive childhood OP

I was born early 80's and to be fair we didn't carry drinks around much, buying one on a day out was a rare treat on holiday, I remember my parents being shocked buying small bottles of cola for 10 francs each (about £1) when we were in France! They did take flasks of tea on picnics or days out, but left them in the car boot and we only drank from them at the start or end of the trip. At home we drank tea, squash and had a soda stream machine. DH and I drank mostly squash at home until we had our own children.

We only had a drink at lunchtime at school, and water from a fountain at breaktime.

We drove long distance to Europe for holidays (nobody flew in those days) but we usually stopped regularly for the toilet.

I can’t really remember that, but I was a child in the 80’s and remember feeling embarrassed of my lunchbox in primary school. I’d have one limp sandwich and juice in a flask, occasionally a piece of fruit or a packet of crisps. It just seems so different to nowadays when you pack allsorts of lovely little bits into the lunchbox and think about it much more. It seemed a very laissez faire style of parenting back then, in comparison I probably seem really full on with my Dd!

I remember things a bit differently.

Plenty of food in our house growing up - just no bloody snacks - I was almost constantly very very hungry. This made me grumpy and tired. It stemmed from the patents not being able to afford to spend money on any food beyond three meals a day.

Once I realised I left home I rectified this situation. I couldn’t let my children go hungry in the same way. Some people are just grazers!

It just seems so different to nowadays when you pack allsorts of lovely little bits into the lunchbox and think about it much more

I don't. I think a sandwich, a piece of fruit and a drink is fine, and it certainly was nothing to be embarrassed about in the 80s.

I grew up in the 80s and don't remember ever having the problems described. My only memory of being in tears because I was so thirsty, was on a school trip (weekend away). We were out walking in sumer and I'd already drunk the small cartons of juice allocated. It was so hot.

It's interesting though, because the same attitude seems to have been aimed at babies in the 70s and 80s. Mothers were told to only feed their babies every four hours, even breastfed ones, even in the summer.

I also remember being very very car sick. Not helped by my dad smoking in the car with the windows shut (because you wouldn’t want to mess with the air conditioning), and my Mum - who has never felt car sick - bringing sweets for every journey. And hi thinking that would help! And the drinks in the car would always be squash 🤢 at the combination!

Sorry OP, that’s really sad. My parents would never force me to go thirsty but I certainly don’t remember being encouraged to keep hydrated like I do now with my DD. I’m obsessive about taking bottles of water out for both of us whenever we leave the house.

I definitely remember having heat stroke after a few sunny days where I obviously spent too long in the hot sun with no water.

I don’t remember ever being short of food (we didn’t snack between meals) but my parents were v much of the ‘you were told to use the loo before leaving, now you’ll have to hold on.’ One thing I remember my mum being adamant about is that we couldn’t eat in public/on the street. Obv in cafes and restaurants but hell would freeze over before we’d have been allowed a packet of crisps walking down the road or similar. 80s kid.

I don't remember drinking at primary school except for at lunch time when they was a jug of water and cups on the table, perhaps there was a water fountain for break time but I don't remember one. At secondary I took a bottle if squash with me and could get water in the fountain and buy them from the vending machine. I always remember one girl who would constantly ask everyone if she could have some of their drink, but would never drink water, I couldn't understand why she didn't bring her own or how she could be thirsty enough to beg sips of everyone else's drink but not thirsty enough to drink water

And when we went out for the day we would take a big bottle of diluted squash and my mum had these cups that fit inside one enough in a leather pouch that we took everywhere. We never went thirsty

I was a 70s DC. We didn't buy drinks whilst out but if we were going to the beach or something, I recall a thick plastic Tupperware cylinder in which something like lemon squash would be put. It would have only given us a small cup each though. My parents were very MC but didn't have money for extras. We had lemonade and a chocolate bar once a week on a Friday. We didn't eat out much at all. But everybody I knew was like that.

I don't remember no drinks. But equally I don't remember having drinks out.

But my dad would be awful about stopping the car if I needed a wee.

It was horrible. As soon as I got in the car it was all I could worry about. I dreaded every car journey.

Even as an adult I dreaded car journeys if he was driving. As I'd feel like I couldn't ask for a stop.

And now as an adult I have IBS if stressed and often wonder if that's due to that. And I rarely can go more than an hour on a car trip without stopping. Luckily my husband is a regular person and we stop whenever anyone needs to regardless of who's driving.

Swore to myself that with my own DC the second they sad they needed a wee I'd find a loo. So at least the wee drama has ended with me as DH and DC can go hours in the car without a stop. It's rare I can and they all celebrate if I do.

@Honeybobbin had it spot on "As an adult can plan the journey and where to stop. As a child you're reliant on someone meeting your needs so you have that stress added on"

This absolutely- I now know I have ADHD. As does my DD8.

And part of our brains are needing to know what's happening and when etc.

So every services sign I see on the motorway I'll say "does anyone need to stop" just so DC know they always have the option any time to stop.

Also I always have water on me as I'm a thirsty person and DC also have their own bottles and sharing with a child is a big no as I like my water without food in it (not envy)

I am a child of the 70s and while my parents didn’t hover over me and cater for my every whim, I could certainly have a drink and go the toilet when I needed. That sort of neglect is and was never normal.

Wow! Some of this brings back memories for me. I was born early 70s, I don't remember being thirsty (apart from one occasion) but as a child I'd have cereal with milk and a cup of tea for breakfast. At school there were no fountains and no one brought drinks with them.

At lunch time there would be pre poured plastic cups of water on the table, and I remember this distinctly, (this is the one occasion I remember being thirsty). There would be 4 boys on one side of the lunch table and 4 girls on the opposite side. I had been up to the serving hatch to get my free school meal and put my plastic plate down on the table and gulped my water. It wasn't until I got to the bottom of the cup that I realised someone had poured salt in it.

Salt cellars were the norm on the school dining room tables then. I was sick all over my lunch.

At dinner time we would have our evening meal, it was like it or do without, and the teapot would be stewing in the middle of the table. No cup of tea until we had cleared our plates.

There was no squash / diluted juice but I imagine if I wanted a drink of water it would have been fine. But when you're brought up on only having 3 drinks a day you adjust to that.

I don't drink tea now and haven't since my teens, can't stand the smell or taste of it. But I drink water like it's going out of fashion.

Some other things that have been mentioned. The smoking. My parents both smoked and had done since a young age. But it was encouraged in their youth and promoted as a good thing.

Sun exposure: sun screen didn't exist when I was a child. Many a Summer I had sunburnt skin and had to bathe in vinegar 'to draw the burn out'. Only on a Sunday though, we had a bath once a week and then it was bath soup. My mum would go in first, then my dad, then all the kids together. The same water getting murkier.

Leaving your kids home alone or outside of shops or pubs was the norm where I grew up. I babysat my cousin from the age of 10. I'd ride my bike to my auntie's on a Sunday afternoon, my auntie would go out to the pub and I'd be in charge of looking after my 2 cousins and stay over night. I'd cycle home on Monday morning, have my breakfast and get changed for school.

My parents used to go out to the pub every Saturday and Sunday night, smoked Regal and claimed free school meals and clothing grants.

The 70s and 80s were very different in terms of how children were treat, and a lot has changed because of the Children's Act in 1989 when the rights of children started to be implemented.

We had plenty to drink, and my mum has kidney problems so toilet stops were a massive thing on any outings, but I definitely don’t remember everyone constantly drinking water like people do today. I’m a lecturer and my mind is sometimes boggled by students glugging away then trotting off to refill bottles.

I’m in my 40s and mainly drink tea, and the odd Diet Coke. I would only buy a bottle of water if I was out and thirsty, and would ask for a glass of water in a restaurant if I had wine.

I was never given water, just fizzy drinks, milk, or cacao. I remember getting quite thirsty on days out too. My mum will only pack a small bottle of appletiser (!) or sparkling water to this day when going on a long family walk or a day out. It's a generational thing maybe?

As soon as I got in the car it was all I could worry about. I dreaded every car journey.

^^
That’s partly it, isn’t it? By refusing to stop, they almost create the need as all you’re thinking about is your bladder.

I remember my dad would never stop at the services despite me saying I needed the loo. He also used to smoke in the car so I'd be desperate for the toilet and be feeling sick from the fumes.
I always make sure we stop as soon as possible if the kids need the toilet on a journey even if it is every hour

I’m so glad I found this thread! I thought it was just me! I was born in 91 and I my mum never took a drink out anywhere with us! I remember being at the circus when I was about 5 and begging for a drink because I was so thirsty and my mum gave me a bit of chewing gum instead. As a child on outings, having to choose between a drink or ice cream. At night I used to sneak out of bed and drink out of the bathroom tap because I was so thirsty!
And heaven forbid I needed a wee when on a car journey or out and about!
It’s massivley affected me as an adult, I’m nearly 30 now and even if we are just walking the dog round the block or doing the school run I take a drink bottle and have a near panic attack if I forget. Massive toilet anxiety too, I ask my kids to try for a wee whenever we leave the house and I do also. If we’re out I’ll always ‘try’ when I’m near a toilet. Luckily my children know they can always tell me when they need the toilet and I’ll get them there as quick as I can, even if it’s a wild wee sometimes! I’m glad to know I’m not the only one!

I have massive toilet anxiety too - hate the idea that I can’t go!
Also the same with drinks - really can’t leave the house without own, even on a really quick trip.