To ask if anyone else seemed to spend their childhood permanently thirsty and/or needing the toilet?

[Cheeseandlobster]

I remember another thread a while ago that touched on this and I was surprised I wasnt the only one.

I was born late 70's and my parents used to take us on lots of trips to random towns on the train, often changing trains in London. They would never bring or buy a drink until we had arrived and walked around a bit. Then they would buy one big bottle of fizzy drink which we all shared, often after salty fish and chips. I remember being more thirsty than I have ever been as an adult. They bought me a drink once when I cried as I was so thirsty and I was pleading with them saying I would pay them back with my pocket money.

Additionally they were obsessed with not missing connections for trains and we were never allowed to stop to use the toilet so I also spent a lot of time absolutely desperate for the toilet, again where I was nearly crying with the pain but not allowed to go unless there happenned to be a toilet on the train

I swore when ds was born he could always have a drink or use the toilet no matter what we were doing. And now I am older I am just incredulous they let us suffer this way.

They were toxic in many many ways, but was this normal for the 80's? Was anyone else deprived of a drink or toilet facilities for prolonged periods of time?

I grew up in the 90s. I don’t remember being comfortable but I didn’t have a water bottle. On days out we would have those calypso cartons. That takes me back!

I remember we could choose between and ice cream or a cola and sometimes choosing the cola because I was so thirsty but really wanted the ice cream. So perhaps it was common-ish to only drink at mealtimes?

I don't remember being thirsty as a child in the 80s. We didn't take water bottles everywhere like people do today but my parents would buy us drinks e.g. in a tea shop or take those 1l cartons of fruit juice and cups if we were having a picnic. School had a water fountain and cups of water with lunch. There wasn't the same focus on emotional literacy IMO but we were able to express basic needs like hunger and thirst and expect them to be met.

I think this sounds abusive TBH. I grew up in the late 80s and early 90s and I could always use the loo and have a drink as a child.

That does not sound normal to me. I’m sorry OP, but that seems weird.

Even if your parents were poor and didn’t want to buy drinks out, they could have taken plenty of bottles of squash made up at home with you on outings. They just sound very odd.

I can’t imagine letting my child be thirsty or bursting for the loo

Yes this. Plus weird about drinks at home, was telling DD that we weren’t allowed downstairs in the morning and my sister crying from being so thirsty that I frequently undid cold hot water bottles so we could have a drink of rancid rubber tasting water

I remember metal water jugs on school dinner tables and enough to drink at home and sensible toilet stops I.e. DM made it clear we needed to use the loo at the service station as there might be a traffic jam etc but never carrying water bottles around whereas it is second nature to do that now.
A few years back MIL admitted that my niece asked where her water was when they’d taken her and sibling out and they hadn’t brought any. It clearly hadn’t occurred to her. SIL had been ill and BIL probably forgot to send them with their bottles. Next time they took them out SIL had made sure they had them and was reportedly unimpressed by MIL not having any on a hot day.

I do remember being thirsty. I would have a glass of water or squash with each meal and milk before bed, but rarely anything in between. As a teenager I could get myself a glass of water at other times, but as a small child I wasn't allowed to get a cup out of the cupboard myself and my parents would often say no if I asked for one.

I had the opposite of the toilet thing though! Every time we went past a public toilet, my parents would make us go "so we don't need it later", even once we were teenagers and knew we wouldn't need to go in the 20 minute walk home!

My auntie would never let us have a drink with a meal. I used to dread meals there and the horrible feeling of being desperate for a drink to help wash my food down.

My dad wouldn’t pull over at services unless we were absolutely bursting. My sister and I regularly colluded, pretending one of us had already wet ourselves to make him pull over. He was always precious about his cars so wouldn’t want a mess on his seats. I distinctly remember the dog standing up in the boot and doing a wee in the car during yet another long journey where we weren’t allowed to stop.

Gosh yes! Less so on car/ train journeys as we didn't really go anywhere. My grandparents lived round the corner. But always thirsty, my parents always had tea or coffee, but we weren't allowed to drink except a small beaker after meals. I don't like squash or milk so was considered odd anyway.

I ended up really poorly for a term in the Juniors with recurrent UTI s and having antibiotics (the banana stuff) I was put on fluids a couple of times and remember the doctor shouted at my mum saying I needed to drink. They'd asked me about what I ate/ drank while she wasn't there and I know had I not been in hospital I'd have got such a walloping for telling the truth.

I always go to make excuses saying we didn't have much money, but they always had cash for cigarettes, and booze.

there werent water bottles at all then.

my family didnt go on these long car journeys.

where were you going on all these trains op?

I remember that there were more water fountains around in the 70s. In all parks and most playgrounds.
The removal of from water fountains (by councils/schools) and move towards bottles and cans of fizzy drinks fuelled the current obesity and diabetes crisis in my opinion.
In the 60s, drinking water and milk was normal. No plastic bottles and carbon footprint involved. No fructose either.

I was a child in the 80s. This is interesting. My parents still rarely drink anything other than tea and coffee and I wouldn’t drink anything other than tea, coffee and wine if I could get away with it. I never get thirsty and they don’t seem to either. I’ve always assumed it was genetic. I drink loads of water and herbal tea these days as it helps me feel better physically and mentally but I only realised that when I was 30.
My sister who is 4 years younger would always want a drink (usually a fizzy one but water would do) and we all thought she was weird. We were normally given one glass of squash with a meal but she was allowed more because she asked.
I’m always telling my parents they should drink more water now but they won’t. I drink it like medicine. My sister still drinks loads of anything going!
We were never denied the toilet though - but it was treated as a little bit more of an inconvenience as children were in those days.

It would've been unusual to have been bought a drink when out and about, you'd be expected to wait till you got home. Same with food, we rarely ate out. It certainly wouldn't occur to any of the adults in my life to carry a bottle of water around with them in case of thirsty children, which is what I do.

Toilet breaks were allowed though!

I was always allowed to go to the loo, in fact it was a joke that I liked to investigate loos wherever we went!

Your op is really shocking. I’m so sorry you went through that.

I don’t think people took drinks with them very much in those days, but it would be normal to buy one with food I’m sure!

I remember being on car journeys and my Dad/ parents refusing to stop for the loo. They weren’t terribly long journeys - 2 hours or so - but still.
I remember once being desperate for the loo, and instead of either stopping or at least taking my mind of it if we were nearly there, my Mum and my brothers having a good laugh from mocking me about it. I remember my Mum in particular saying “Oh look Gertrude, that house is TOI LET” (as opposed to TO LET) and everyone having a good laugh. I can’t imagine doing that to my kids!

That's so sad. It would break my heart for my daughter to beg for a drink and offer her pocket money. I'm so sorry they did that to you and it is most definitely abusive.

Hydration and toileting and basic human rights.

No, I don’t have any memories like this at all, and I’m an early 70s baby.

But one very minor thing has stuck in my mind forever. My Mum was in hospital for a relatively short time when I was about 7, and there was a short period where DB and I have to sleep over at friends the odd night if DF had evening meetings.

I remember going into school one day from one friend’s place with a packed lunch and no drink bottle. I was so, so thirsty all day. That family was (is!) lovely, and perhaps the kids just didn’t need drink bottles during the day.

But I really felt like I suffered that day, and it’s stuck in my memory ever since. So I can’t even imagine what it must have been like to have been deprived in that way all the time.

@Inthevirtualwaitingroom

my family didnt go on these long car journeys.

where were you going on all these trains op?

Just random towns. It was their thing. My parents had priv cards so I must have visited most towns in Kent, Sussex, Surrey and Hampshire by the age of 10

I think people didn't consider frequent drinking and snacks necessary in the past. We didn't bring drinks to school, just drank from the tap. Certainly nobody bought water when I was little.

Were water bottles a thing in the 80s? At home I could have a glass of water whenever and at school we had milk at break time and water at lunch and the water fountain if you needed a quick sip.

Nowadays I would never go on a journey without a bottle of water!

I can’t remember being thirsty when our with my parents. We didn’t have water or a drink available at all times but my mother has elevenses and an afternoon tea break always and she always has a cup of tea then or a flask if she’s out so we will have had something. I do remember and have still go the Tupperware box my lunch was put in. I suspect she took diluted squash in a sippy cup when I was a preschooler and my lunch box flask when I was at school.
When we were older they would buy us a bottle of pop each once a week and then we would refill the bottle repeatedly. We did have cartons such umbongo and Capri sun
Toilets I have always been really funny about I preferred to wee behind a bush. I was a child in the 80s and 90s.
I do remember my grand parents not having drinks with meals and I found it really hard to eat without a drink.

This was something I experienced as an early 90s kid. My parents would never stop for the loo on long car rides and if we got drinks out on the rare occasion, they’d get us a can of Coke to share between 3. I don’t know that it’s linked but I’ve suffered with bladder issues since my teens (I’m now early 30s) including severe recurrent utis triggered by dehydration, sex, tight clothes... all sorts of things. I sometimes wonder if it was because I was always so thirsty and dehydrated as a kid. Please hydrate your kids!!

@LunaNorth

That wasn’t on, OP.

I had permanently freezing feet as a child, and to this day I marvel at the fact that in winter my feet are never cold. I just accepted it as normal back then.

We can only do better.

I remember having permanently cold feet as a child. Once actually sobbing with cold as I traipsed round the market with my mum. I know we weren’t well off so at home we didn’t have the heating on much and perhaps I didn’t have warm shoes... my husband teases me sometimes now because I ask my son several times a day if he’s warm enough! And DS rolls his eyes too - ‘I’m warm enough Mummy!’ - but I can’t help it.