A different take on wearing PJs outside the house

[Smartiesmaltesers]

I started reading a thread about wearing PJs to the supermarket and just commented on it. Admittedly I haven't read the whole thread yet or any similar threads.

I just wanted to offer a different perspective on this that perhaps people may not have considered, and I would be really interested to know what others think. I've never started a Mumsnet thread before so I hope I'm doing it right.

I have fibromyalgia, sciatica and about six different mental health conditions that severely impact my life. I try very hard but I barely function.

I find getting dressed extremely difficult and stressful no matter how much help I get from the mental health team or how hard I try. PJs are far more comfortable for me than regular clothes. Leaving the house is like climbing Mount Everest. Having the stress of getting dressed AND leaving the house or going to a Zoom call makes me avoid doing these things.

If lots of other people started wearing PJs and dressing gowns outside or on Zoom calls, I would feel it was acceptable for me to do it too without feeling judged. I did once go out in my pyjamas and a coat for a walk at night but felt like everyone was looking at me and judging me.

I would bet a lot of people with mental health conditions and/or physical heath conditions feel the same as me and avoid going out or joining Zoom calls for this reason when it could in fact be beneficial for us to do these things.

In fact I feel so strongly about this that I would like to make wearing PJs outside a thing!

AIBU?

I have several conditions that impact on everyday living. One of the joys of ME and fibromyalgia is allodynia which means some days certain clothes cause pain. I'm also autistic which has some really fun sensory issues at times. Admittedly if I am having a day where clothing is problematic I stay home in my pjs but, no judgement for people going about their business in them

So you have no other comfortable clothes other than nightwear?

As long as you are dressed enough to not scare small kids, then it wouldn't bother me.
I would be more concerned about someone wearing only a vest in the snow/rain or ski jacket in 30 degrees than I would be in seeing some trousers that could be joggers or pjs. Not that there is much difference between joggers/lounge pants/pjs.

Could you save up for Loungewear? The same feel as PJs but it’s outside wear proof?

Just a plain T-shirt instead of a PJ top? And some soft trousers?

There is so much choice for loungewear that is just as comfy as PJs now

I often sleep in a t-shirt as can’t see need for PJs really

Easy solution?

I suspect it’s not about not having any loungewear it’s the discomfort and mental effort that is required to ‘get dressed’.

I appreciate life is hard for you but can't you buy neutral pyjamas that pass as normal clothes? My PJ's are navy/ black bottoms made from jersey cotton, long sleeve plain t shirt. I often wear them out on a dog walk first thing. That way you don't have to worry what anyone thinks or get dressed.

I wouldn’t go for anything that looked obviously like PJs but can’t see any objection to something that looks like joggers and a top. I would always wear clean underwear underneath too...

Leggings, trainers and a big hoodie are all you need, no one would expect an ill person to be dressed to the nines just out for a walk. If people judge that's their problem. I think if you can't put clothes on in the morning you are clearly seriously ill and shouldn't be out shopping or walking, that's what a carer would help with. If you're having a bad day why force yourself to go out?

Sorry you're having all these problems, Smarties, but encouraging everyone to wear PJs outside makes it a race to the bottom, and I don't think it is the answer.

Firstly, it's unhygienic to wear PJs when out and about. If you have worn them in bed, they're likely to have various bodily secretions on the fabric, which will dry and flake off. If you're one of the estimated 40% of people currently infested with threadworms, you will be shedding their eggs as you move. Since a supermarket is a food selling area, often with unwrapped fresh food on display, this is unhygienic. Really, it's advisable for people to have a wash in the morning when they get up, but if you can't do this then you should at least get dressed.

Secondly, getting dressed will lift your mood and help you feel more motivated in other areas. It's good for you. I do appreciate that things can be difficult with fibro and sciatica, but daywear doesn't have to be uncomfortable. You can choose loose tops or t-shirts, leggings, jogging bottoms, a skirt with an elasticated waist - even loungewear is fine. Just not pyjamas outside of the house, please!

I hear you. I've been there. Most people cannot conceive of being too ill to get dressed.

Ignore them. Black PJ bottoms are my advice as they can pass as trousers.

Everyone should be free to wear what they like as long as the bits that need covering are covered. It's that simple

Ah, DS regularly wears PJs out of the house - we're in a "pick your battles" stage with him and him getting dressed in to "day clothes" is not a battle I'm picking, where as he'll happily change in to clean and fresh PJs!

So yeah, lots of reasons people where PJs out of the house. I think as long as it isn't a skimpy negligée, I can't see why anyone cares.

I don't think it should be normalised.

I have experience with mental health issues, fibro and sciatica and pyjamas don't help any of those things.

If I'm having a rough day and can stay at home I'll happily sit in my pjs, if I need to go out I have a pair of black harem style trousers and a slouchy t-shirt - it may not be the smartest but not letting myself go out in pjs means that I have to force myself to have a quick wash and clean underwear. Most of the time I feel better after doing so.

My eldest is Autistic and has days where he feels touched out and struggles with clothes so he has down day stuff too.

Yes black pj bottoms, wire free bra and tshirt with hoody over the top would do if you really couldn't get dressed. Don't take the other thread to heart.

I remember when 9 months PG not being to get into my maternity wear anymore and needing to pop to shops. I wore DH’s super flexible navy PJs with a denim jacket over the top. I doubt anyone realised...

Yabu, you don’t need to normalise nightwear in the day, wear comfortable clothes.
Thinking of other people, often although it can be a struggle they feel better if they make the effort to get dressed.

I have a load of cheap harem pants from eBay and some T-shirts/long sleeved T- shirts/best tops. I can wear them in bed, for exercise, for pottering around the house or to go out. They are soft and comfortable. Add a scarf and a cardigan and they are perfectly acceptable outdoor wear and it's less blatantly obvious that I'm having a bad day and it's taken every ounce of energy I have to leave the house.

Firstly, it's unhygienic to wear PJs when out and about. If you have worn them in bed, they're likely to have various bodily secretions on the fabric, which will dry and flake off. If you're one of the estimated 40% of people currently infested with threadworms, you will be shedding their eggs as you move. Since a supermarket is a food selling area, often with unwrapped fresh food on display, this is unhygienic. Really, it's advisable for people to have a wash in the morning when they get up, but if you can't do this then you should at least get dressed

I can never tell when I read things like this - is the person posting them really tightly wound when it comes to these things or am I a complete slob? Because not only has that never occurred to me, but also it would never occur to me that a bottom enclosed in pyjama bottoms is more likely to have threadworms or ‘bodily secretions’ on the outside of said pyjamas.

YANBU. I have none of the problems you have and sometimes I just can’t be arsed getting dressed - I have joggers and lounge pants I specifically wear when I need to be comfy but know I might need to go out though as I don’t generally wear pyjamas.

I don’t think it’s the idea of wearing PJ’s to the shop that’s the issue here, it’s the fact that if it’s the same PJ’s you’ve worn all night in bed, it’s extremely unhygienic. If you got up & put on clean PJ’s before leaving the house then fair enough, but if you can’t get the energy to “get dressed” then you really shouldn’t leave the house in worn PJ’s.

When my mental health was low I couldn’t face getting dressed sometimes but honestly it made me feel better once I was washed and dressed.

@DaisyWaldron can you share a link to your comfies? I’ve got Hush harems coz I’m dead posh but they’re expensive.

@Newmama29 but why is is extremely unhygienic? This is what I don’t get. Nighttime doesn’t automatically mean all the grossness is transported through the fabric to the outside of the pjs. And frankly at the moment I’d rather see someone in pjs with a face mask than dressed up without a face mask (which I know isn’t the point but that’s when I would keep my distance).

Sometimes people feel better for getting washed and dressed, but sometimes they don't. I had post- viral fatigue and while I was really lucky and recovered, it was fairly normal for the effort involved in getting washed and dressed to leave me too exhausted to do anything else, and that actually talking to a friend, or going for a walk in the sunshine, or buying food would be a more beneficial use of that energy.

@justanotherneighinparadise

I suspect it’s not about not having any loungewear it’s the discomfort and mental effort that is required to ‘get dressed’.

This. I think it's difficult for someone who is not experiencing any of the issues that op does to understand just how hard it can be to just get changed out of pjs into day clothes.

I have had similar issues.

Dry hair shampoo and jersey dresses and ballet pumps are really helpful if it's warm. Leggings, tunics, overgrown cardigans, oversized jumpers all helpful.

I dont think that shopping in pyjamas should be normalised - but people should feel free to live according to their needs and we should stop judging how other people live.