A different take on wearing PJs outside the house

[Smartiesmaltesers]

I started reading a thread about wearing PJs to the supermarket and just commented on it. Admittedly I haven't read the whole thread yet or any similar threads.

I just wanted to offer a different perspective on this that perhaps people may not have considered, and I would be really interested to know what others think. I've never started a Mumsnet thread before so I hope I'm doing it right.

I have fibromyalgia, sciatica and about six different mental health conditions that severely impact my life. I try very hard but I barely function.

I find getting dressed extremely difficult and stressful no matter how much help I get from the mental health team or how hard I try. PJs are far more comfortable for me than regular clothes. Leaving the house is like climbing Mount Everest. Having the stress of getting dressed AND leaving the house or going to a Zoom call makes me avoid doing these things.

If lots of other people started wearing PJs and dressing gowns outside or on Zoom calls, I would feel it was acceptable for me to do it too without feeling judged. I did once go out in my pyjamas and a coat for a walk at night but felt like everyone was looking at me and judging me.

I would bet a lot of people with mental health conditions and/or physical heath conditions feel the same as me and avoid going out or joining Zoom calls for this reason when it could in fact be beneficial for us to do these things.

In fact I feel so strongly about this that I would like to make wearing PJs outside a thing!

AIBU?

It’s a “No” from me. If you have been asleep in them all night then it’s unhygienic. It’s not a race to the bottom.
I grew up poor, but cleanliness, especially personal care, costs very little.

I get wanting to be comfy but I still don’t go with the idea of going out in what you have worn to bed!

I don't believe for one second that most of the people going to the supermarket or taking their children to school whilst wearing their PJs, dressing gowns and slippers have any kind of health issues other than laziness.

I'm sorry for those that do, however. But would it (if physically possible) make you feel better to wear something different? Because loungewear is comfy too but doesn't look like pyjamas.

I have MS. I'd literally have to be on my death bed before I don't get up and dressed. Just wear loungewear if you find it more comfortable. But absolutely not pyjamas out side the house.

I have several autoimmune issues and am bipolar. I have 20 odd pairs of pyjamas. I love them. I wear them daily but sleep naked so they aren't clothes for sleeping. They are clothes for wearing in the house. For "outdoors" I also own several pairs of yoga pants and some Carolina dress room leggings which are amazingly soft and come in fun patterns. I team them with oversized T-shirt's . I have harem pants/jump suits and vest tops for summer. All of them, ALL are made with Lycra/mix. They are mega comfy.

There is no real difference between the clothes fit outside and the clothes for inside. But I also team both with socks and crocks so clearly don't give a flying shite about what people think of me and my clothing choices. I put petrol in my car yesterday in my sloth pyjamas and bright pink crocs. You think I care about that woman on the next pump judging me? I care about the fact that I need a knee replacement and was in agony all day and the pj pants were Loose enough for me to keep a warm pad taped on my knee . Like buggery would I get dressed just to put petrol in!!

Get a life and stop judging.

@justanotherneighinparadise

I suspect it’s not about not having any loungewear it’s the discomfort and mental effort that is required to ‘get dressed’.

Yes this is absolutely spot on. Thank you. I am often encouraged to go out even though I don't want to and feel like I'm letting others down if I don't try. Sometimes I force myself but don't feel any better for doing it. If I had my way I'd NEVER go out. I actually don't ever go out in PJs or go to Zoom calls in them (except that one time). I ALWAYS get dressed to do it. Sometimes I HAVE to go out for an appointment. I always get dressed for those things and always suffer more mentally a week before I know I have to go out. Thank you for understanding me, justanothernightinparadise.

I honestly can't see why going out in your PJs is any less hygienic that going out in jeans that you have worn several times, or popping into a shop in your jogging gear.

I am certain there are people in the supermarket in clothes that are far more unhygienic than my PJs.

@wolfmom

I have several conditions that impact on everyday living. One of the joys of ME and fibromyalgia is allodynia which means some days certain clothes cause pain. I'm also autistic which has some really fun sensory issues at times. Admittedly if I am having a day where clothing is problematic I stay home in my pjs but, no judgement for people going about their business in them

Yes I have this too where normal clothes physically hurt.

I also have fibromyalgia and often severe allodynia and still would not be seen dead outside in jamas. Nor would I get into bed in my shoes.
Drier are all the way!

I don’t know if this is helpful - but I have a couple of these dresses and they are a godsend (for me, just when I’m being lazy).

They’re jersey so don’t need an iron. They have POCKETS!!!! So you can carry your phone about. They’re soft enough that you can easily wear in bed as a nightgown if you needed to, and they’re easy to throw on. I bought them as a holiday cover up but I wear mine all the time. I’ve worn them with leggings under when it’s been cold as well - My current go-to is the dress with a long cardigan and flats. I’ve broken my finger and it’s a bastard trying to get dressed when your dominant hand is all strapped up!

I can’t figure out how to link from the Amazon app but they’re easy to find. Also if you’ve never bought clothes from amazon, I returned 2 of the 4 I bought and had my refund quickly and easily.

In my really bad days I would go to bed with nothing on and leave fresh underwear and my baggy clothes beside my bed so I had to put those on straight away.

Stagger into the bathroom for morning pee, brush teeth - wet flannel to do face, underarms then genitals.

Takes 5 minutes all in from getting out of bed and no extra effort even if you don't feel better atleast you know you're ready for the day.

@Corncorncorn

I hear you. I've been there. Most people cannot conceive of being too ill to get dressed.

Ignore them. Black PJ bottoms are my advice as they can pass as trousers.

Thanks corncorncorn. I appreciate your empathy. It's hard for people to understand something like this that they haven't personally experienced. That sort of judgement makes life even harder for us than it already is. I'm sorry you've experienced this too. After reading this thread, I will definitely never go out in my pyjamas!

people should feel free to live according to their needs and we should stop judging how other people live

Yes, lets let go of every single standard of behaviour and let every individual do exactly as they please at all times. No judgement allowed!

@iamtheoneandonlyyy

Everyone should be free to wear what they like as long as the bits that need covering are covered. It's that simple

Thank you!

I get it OP. I have bipolar and on my bad days if it meant getting dressed my kids wouldn’t not end up at school. People should get a life and stop judging others. Don’t see how my pyjamas that e been in for 7 hours are any more unhygienic than my normal clothes that I’ve been in for 12 hours.

As Walzing, Evil, Spud and Oooooweeee have mentioned, getting dressed, despite being an effort, generally makes you feel better, so you might want to question why that is.
I have always been told that 90% of people judge you, badly or otherwise, on your appearance.
Whilst I’d like to think that I don’t agree with this, it has been proven over and over, so by NOT getting dressed, you might be setting yourself up for being on the end of some kind of negativity, thus adding to any depressed thoughts and cycle of depression.
In my experience, only those who are comfortable with themselves (thus excluding most with MH issues) don’t care about being judged...

There are some very uptight people on MN.

Wear what you want.

Thing is there's quite a way between PJ's and say an over-sized shirt with leggings.

But where do we draw the line?

Kids going to school in pjs because they prefer to wear them/parents CBA to help them get dressed?

People turning up at work in pjs because they prefer to wear them?

I'm with @WaltzingToWalsingham, it unhygienic. Would you wear the same pjs to get back into bed again at night?

I have Fibromyalgia and GAD and I get dressed every day even if I don’t really want to .
I couldn’t spend all day in pj’s and definitely couldn’t go outside in them , I’d feel unclean.
I just make sure I have comfortable clothes .
So no, I don’t think nightwear in supermarkets / public should be normalised.

@JackieTheFart well you’ve slept in them all night, sweating etc. & wearing the same pants? To me I just don’t feel clean until I get dressed & change my pants at the very least. The same way I wouldn’t choose to go to the supermarket after I’d just been to the gym in my sweaty gym gear without showering.

Op get some comfy pyjamas that look like jogging bottoms and sweatshirt....(Amazon sells some and they do look passable for wearing outside,)..

I pretty much spend my life in “loungewear” even before lockdown. I work at home and don’t have zoom calls etc so I can wear what I like and not bother with make up etc.

If I need to pop out, most of my clothes are ok for wearing in public as well as being made of jersey with elasticated waists!

If I’m wearing a particularly bedtime-y pair of trousers (stripes etc) then I’ll usually change, but tbh I sometimes can’t be arsed and I don’t care if I get judged. I don’t sleep in these clothes, I just pull them on when I get up as they’re comfy, so they’re not PJs in the sense that I’ve been sweating in them all night.

In fact people who exercise and actually DO sweat all over their comfy clothes, then go shopping in them are more gross!

I don’t have fibro but I do have another chronic health condition that makes things hard work.

Getting dressed once a day is sometimes all I can manage and having to traipse up the stairs to change before going out can be too much I agree.

@HotCrossBumsticks

people should feel free to live according to their needs and we should stop judging how other people live

Yes, lets let go of every single standard of behaviour and let every individual do exactly as they please at all times. No judgement allowed!

I couldn't agree more.