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AIBU?

Would you want to know your DH was cheating?

133 replies

SupermarketSecrets · 21/03/2021 14:38

So there's a married man at work, early 30s married with a child having an affair with a 17 year old girl. Everyone at work knows, they're very open about it at work and people do gossip about them.

Lots of people have said someone should tell his wife so she's aware.
I feel guilty for knowing, almost like an accomplice but I don't want to get involved.

AIBU to think we should stay out of it? Or would you want to know your husband was cheating?

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hayjam · 21/03/2021 14:41

I'd normally say stay out of it but with a 17 year old! He had taken advantage of a young lady, in this instance I would tell his wife.

Lobster2018 · 21/03/2021 14:41

Tell her!
I'd definitely want to know.

Mintlegs · 21/03/2021 14:45

Anonymous letter

Wishitsnows · 21/03/2021 14:46

Yes tell her if you can

Unanananana · 21/03/2021 14:48

Yup. He is a predator. His poor wife. At work, you are all watching a barely legal girl being groomed.

faithfulbird20 · 21/03/2021 14:48

Tell her she will thank you. I'd want to know.

Mylovelyhorsee · 21/03/2021 14:49

Normally I’d say stay out of it, but a 17 year old. What a creep! Yeah it’s best his wife knows.

SupermarketSecrets · 21/03/2021 14:49

I do feel for both women. How would you tell the wife? I don't know their home address

OP posts:

mumjustmum · 21/03/2021 14:50

I'm going to sit on the fence here, unhelpful I realise, sorry.
As the wife, tell me, but don't tell him or the AP that you have done so. Give me the opportunity to make a decision/plan before it all comes out.
As a colleague, no, I'd keep well out of it.

I suppose, if you knew the wife, you should tell her, but if you know the colleagues only, then stay well out of someone else's circus.

Mycatisatabbytwat · 21/03/2021 14:51

That man is a groomer. Definitely tell. (Not envy)

B33Fr33 · 21/03/2021 14:51

Yes And I imagine the parents of the not actually an adult would like to be aware of the creepy bastards as well.

Amdone123 · 21/03/2021 14:51

I would normally say no ( the messenger usually the one being shot), but in this case, I would tell her. Not only is he a cheat, but a predator. It's disgusting. She deserves to know what she's married. As a pp said, an anonymous letter, so you don't have any repercussions.

Tinydinosaur · 21/03/2021 14:52

I would want to know. God I'd be humiliated.

Mardy1980 · 21/03/2021 14:54

Sorry but I think the bosses need to step in and say something.
This is a bit of a safeguarding issue if you ask me. He is taking advantage of a young girl. Not your place to tell the wife.

cakecakecheese · 21/03/2021 14:56

This is horrible and I do think she should be told but the thing is unless you can provide her with actual proof an anonymous letter etc could easily be explained away as malicious.

dworky · 21/03/2021 15:00

You must tell her.

tentimesaday · 21/03/2021 15:01

If you work with the guy, it should be possible to find out his address. Then, as has already been said, anonymous letter.

tentimesaday · 21/03/2021 15:03

@dworky

You must tell her.

Completely agree. Silence is what lets jerks like this get away with it.

changingnames786 · 21/03/2021 15:09

I would normally say stay out of it but 17 is disgusting, I'd be minded to tell the parents of the 17 year old. I'm assuming the 17 year old is nothing to do with the work place? If she is I'd formally report it to work too.

missbunnyrabbit · 21/03/2021 15:13

Tell her. Always tell her.

HealingMum · 21/03/2021 15:15

Fucking pervert.

Tell her.

HealingMum · 21/03/2021 15:16

Do they work in retail btw? As I witnessed crap like this when I did. It's rife.

MacDuffsMuff · 21/03/2021 15:20

Well yes I'd want to know. I'd also want to know if my not quite adult daughter were being preyed upon by some creep in his 30s. And yes I know that it's perfectly legal for her to have sex at this age but this is wrong on so many levels. His poor wife.

EleanorLenor · 21/03/2021 15:22

Yes I’d blow this up. As a 17 yo I did the same with a 32yo-I had frankly no idea what I had gotten myself into and I hadn’t a choice or I’d lose my job. The fucker preyed on me but when I was that age I was flattered.

It messed me up so much.

rabbitheadlights · 21/03/2021 15:28

Please find a way to tell her or the young lady's parents. I was that 17 year old once and the consequences of that "relationship" impacted my life for a long time after

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