To ask how many men you have loved?

[Laughingstock91]

I realised fairly recently that I have only really ever really loved one man in a gave me heart away sense (and unfortunately that’s not the man that I am currently with and had kids with- long story 😢)

But it’s made me really think about the relationships I have had & the boys I have kissed and which ones I really had feelings for! I do seem to have history with inappropriate men too!!

Aibu to ask how many men you have loved?

@Rollmopsrule

3 First love, a terrible error of judgement and my Dh. My Dh was the most intense and thankfully the most balanced and reciprocated.

same!

Five.
My first love, who I was with from 14-18.
A friend who I was never in a relationship with but we were friends and FWB off and on between relationships for about 15 years. We loved each other in all kinds of ways but we’d have been an outright disaster of a couple.
Then a LTR from 23-26.
Ex-H from 29-33 who almost killed me when he left.
Now my wonderful DH who, out of all of them, is kind, thoughtful, steady and makes me feel completely secure. Something none of the others did. Though, tbh, I wasn’t looking for steady and secure until I was about 30, I went for passion and excitement and emotional ups and downs.

4
1 first love I was 18 it lasted for 3 yrs.

2 my 1st Husband. We had a very happy marriage for 12 yrs. 2 children together
3 met him while I was still married and eventually left my Husband for him. We were married for 10 yrs 1 child. He died very suddenly 4 months from diagnosis
4 my current partner we have been together 6 years and I think we will grow old together.
I'm in a good place but I still miss my 2nd Husband everyday. He was the love of my life.

At the time I would've said I loved 3, but in reality it's probably only DH in the proper sense of the term. My first serious boyfriend I would've walked across hot coals for and loved him so much it was overwhelming at times, definite rose tinted glasses too, but looking back it was very much teenage infatuation (17-19). 2nd long ish term relationship definitely thought I loved him at the time but actually think I loved being in a relationship more 3 years with a short break and actually when it came to it neither of us was willing to move our lives for the other (met at uni, from different parts of the country, went long distance after graduation). DH I've loved in some way since I was about 11/12 the chemistry built weekend we were teenagers and we were always the people the other person's partner didn't much like. He's the person who I always simple admit when I think about seeing them, even when I'd had a rubbish day and didn't want to see anyone or do anything, I always wanted to see him, it took until we were 25 to stop telling people we were definitely just best friends. Now I love watching TV with him just as much as our years of going out all of the time and travelling. There's no one else I'd rather get up at 4am with to deal with a vomitous toddler.

Four. Three ex boyfriends and current DH.

Two, one was my first love which ended rather badly. The second is dh.

Two, though two more I thought I was in love with at the time - one of them drank far too much and I am so relieved I broke it off despite thinking I loved him.

One of the two real loves is my husband of 12 years. The other is someone I had strong feelings for in my early 20s, but life got in the way. He moved to the other side of the world (and is still there). I was gutted, and we lost touch for a good while. Over the last few years we’ve been back in touch online as friends, and that’s lovely. I only realise since loving my husband that this other person is the only one I’ve possibly ever had the same depth of feeling for.

The love I have for my children is different and more intense

1, and I'm still with him now! He was my first boyfriend at 18 too. We broke up and I went a bit mad Haha as you do. I thought I felt love for someone else but it was a very toxic and abusive. I was still messaging DP while I was with him!
We broke up and within two weeks I was back with DP!!

2 crushy type feelings when a teenager,
2 limerance passionate affairs
3 men I could have been happy enough with, but didn’t stay together in the end, loved them, friends, but “thus far and no further” in terms of my heart
1 proper this is it, how did I not know this is what it should be? Love, passion, totally terrifying vulnerability, but deep down certainty

One. We were together 15 years. He left me for my now ex best friend. Never again.

Accounting for age and stage and what love means in the context of each... four people.

I thought I had loved other guys until I met my fiancée. Now I really understand proper love. So just him.

4 I think. First love which was probably more of an infatuation but felt real at the time.

Second serious relationship, love but we were in different places in our lives. Looking back we could have probably still been together quite happily now.

3rd was ExH. The one that felt the strongest but weirdly the one that was the worst for me (complete narcissistic bully)

Current DP. I love him but am acutely aware it’s not as intense as previous love and he’s probably not “the one”

1. But the love I have for dp blows the other four out of the water, so much so it needs another word for it really

One - my ex-husband. Unfortunately he turned out not to feel the same way.

Romantically? 2.
One for 2 years and one for 30 years.
But in a non romantic way I also love 2 DSs and a cousin who is more like a brother to me.

@Gumandbass did you not realise how strong your feelings for your husband were? Do you regret leaving?

Two. My second boyfriend (first love) and my current one.

2, I think.

First Boyfriend, who even now I'm not sure whether I loved him or not.

DH - been together 25 years.

It's an interesting question, with some interesting replies. When I was a teenager I had a very close relationship with my first BF being aged 17/18, being in the same college, etc. I moved away to change course do nursing and we drifted apart, but there was always a strong connection when we'd meet ever meet again.

I'm very happily married for many years to a great DH, as is my long ago ex.

Nothing is every the same as a first teenage BF though, but I don't think it is love. It is new, it is hormones, it is time of your life, it is inexperience, etc.

[quote GreenBalaclava]@Gumandbass did you not realise how strong your feelings for your husband were? Do you regret leaving?[/quote]
I didn't leave, he died.

I feel sorry for the men married to wives who don't love them/love someone else.

Four, deeply.

One

Like many many others, I thought I was in love with previous partners but my OH is the man of my dreams and falling in love with him was out of this world (still is). It made realise that I'd never known what real love looked like until him

God forbid anything happens between us, I absolutely know that I wouldn't be able to move on to anyone else. He's my one

@Gumandbass so sorry, I misread and thought it was the first husband you missed sorry for your loss