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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask how many men you have loved?

204 replies

Laughingstock91 · 20/03/2021 12:30

I realised fairly recently that I have only really ever really loved one man in a gave me heart away sense (and unfortunately that’s not the man that I am currently with and had kids with- long story 😢)

But it’s made me really think about the relationships I have had & the boys I have kissed and which ones I really had feelings for! I do seem to have history with inappropriate men too!!

Aibu to ask how many men you have loved?

OP posts:
MondeoFan · 20/03/2021 23:33
  1. Both narcissists unfortunately, treated me badly. I obviously attracted that type of man
ChewedClickyPen · 20/03/2021 23:39

One.

I have been married twice though. I am married now to the one I do love.

I had a teenage passion, that died pretty quickly. My first husband I married as I had a young child and I thought it was the right thing to do. I was very young and I know looking back I was trying to be grown up for my young DS. We were both unhappy and it was a mistake.

My second husband, I met and I loved. From the off. I love him. Deeply. Even through all the bad times, I love him. Even when he doesn't deserve it, I love him.

I honestly don't believe in 'the one'. Yet I can't imagine living another like him.

I wasn't his first love though, which unreasonably pisses me off.... Blush

IdblowJonSnow · 20/03/2021 23:42

Six.

MM321 · 20/03/2021 23:43

I believe you can be “in love” in different ways with different people.

I’d say 2 people for me. 3 if you include my DS who is without a doubt, the love of my life ❤️

My ex bf - A 6 year flirty friendship turned into an intense 2 year relationship/FWB. I call him “the life ruiner” 🤣 in the nicest possible way! We were 18 and had intense chemistry and couldn’t stay away from each other. He didn’t ruin my life at all but I would quite happily have let him 😅 hence the name 🙈 10 years later he’s still an amazing friend and I can truly say he was my first real love. Although I think had we not had such a friendship too I would have called it infatuation.

My DH - the most honest, selfless and reliable man I know. The most amazing dad to our DS. Everything I could want in my “forever love”. —although I’d love him more if he stopped snoring— 😬

whatthehellisthiszap · 20/03/2021 23:44

Two. I'm not even sure I loved my ex or if it was infatuation. Only my husband I really love and am sure of.

Minikievs · 20/03/2021 23:46

Several, at the time. Maybe 3. Plus a teenage infatuation.
Now being single and looking back, one.
And I always will love him. I think he's the love of my life. But the moment has passed now.

Opal93 · 20/03/2021 23:46

I think I thought I loved my first boyfriend but we were only 13 and obviously it wasn’t real love. I think because my home life was so bad it really was the only positive thing I had so I got far too attached and serious too young. He just wasn’t ready for the intensity I craved. I fell head over heels in love with my now husband at sixteen. I miss him when he goes to work, he is furloughed atm and I love having him home with me. I definitely don’t think I would feel love like this again. I do sometimes miss the intensity of when we first met, the honeymoon period iyswim but that can’t last forever with anybody!

prawntoastie · 20/03/2021 23:46

I think my first I thought I loved him as he was very abusive and a man I lost my virginity to, so my first boyfriend. I was with him for 4-6yrs on and off but I don't think that was love.

I met a man I am not sure if I loved him, I was around him for 4 months and very intense, three years later I still think of him but again I am realising It is because he was emotionally abusive

my partner now we been together two years, I love him like I will do anything for him but our sex life is a bit shit due to me not him.

HeadNorth · 20/03/2021 23:49

2 - my lovely late father and my wonderful husband, over 30 years together we will hold each other's hand at the end for whichever goes first. Having a great dad I think made me able to find a great life partner and I hope I have paid it forward to our daughters. Accept nothing less than the best.

personallyvictimizedbyreginage · 20/03/2021 23:50

How many I’ve loved - 2. How many I’ve thought I’ve loved- 4. How many people I’ve told I loved them!?! Countless!

Ijustknowitstimetogo · 20/03/2021 23:58

@Pyewackect

Two men, one woman.
A new twist on an old ABBA song.
Treemama · 21/03/2021 00:06

Two. I'm married to the second one. It took me quite a while to get over my first love and had a few bfs after him that didn't mean much until I met dh who made me fall in love again.

gwenneh · 21/03/2021 00:20

Three. Two absolute cunts, and my husband.

Bobbi73 · 21/03/2021 00:40

I had many boyfriends over the years but I had a kind of innocent love with my first proper boyfriend. I had an incredibly lustful love with another and then I got knocked off my feet by the love I felt for my partner. It was the whole thing lust, love and friendship. Nearly 25 years later, we're still going strong. With 2 smallish kids, lock down stress and work, I'm really glad we had the friendship to carry us through but the love is ad strong as ever. I can't imagine loving anyone else.

Sparklesocks · 21/03/2021 00:44

Two, properly!

But I also occasionally see a man on the tube (in pre-covid days anyway) or on the street I wonder what our life together would be like if we both fell in love at first sight Grin

LaurieFairyCake · 21/03/2021 00:45

4 men

5 dogs 🐕

(The dogs were better companions Grin)

Designerenvy · 21/03/2021 00:46

Just the one

enchantedspleen · 21/03/2021 00:51

3, but the first was pure infatuation. Second was just a shit sandwich of horror. Third is DH who blows the other two away and actually showed me what love really is!

NotAPanda · 21/03/2021 00:56

Two.
I could never stay with someone whom I didn’t fancy. Am a very snoggy/cuddly person and can’t fake excitement😂

Lalanbaba · 21/03/2021 01:23
  1. First one we were 7 years together, we grew apart wanting different things and he took the decision to break the relationship. We don't speak no longer but will always have a corner of my heart. Also I still have a good relationship with his mum and sister.
Current one (and hopefully the last) caught me by surprise. I wasn't looking for anything special and realising I was falling in love was like learning to breathe again. One kid together and lots plans for the future.
StarryGazeyEyes · 21/03/2021 01:30

Proper love 2. One was a bastard but I thank him because when the second one came along I recognised it and, since this one was not a bastard, I married him.

WrenNatsworthy · 21/03/2021 01:40
  1. One is my DH and I'm still good friends with the other 2. They are both great guys and I still spend time with them occasionally.
One is happily married and I get on really well with his lovely wife - she is my friend too.

The other one is in a bad relationship and I hate that he's so unhappy.

WineTastingNotTimeWasting · 21/03/2021 01:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SmokedDuck · 21/03/2021 01:50

Maybe three?

But one was unrequited and had I been older he would not have been appealing. It's actually difficult looking back to think how very messed up he was. The second was a relationship of about six months, also when I was on the young side, probably could ever have worked.

Three I'm married to, and have been for more than 15 years - it's not really comparable because the timescale is so different. In the early years I don't know how qualitatively different it would have been from the others.

Cloudyrainsham · 21/03/2021 01:54

Two, my first real boyfriend when I was 21. Then my husband who I’ve been with for 26 years.