Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how many men you have loved?

204 replies

Laughingstock91 · 20/03/2021 12:30

I realised fairly recently that I have only really ever really loved one man in a gave me heart away sense (and unfortunately that’s not the man that I am currently with and had kids with- long story 😢)

But it’s made me really think about the relationships I have had & the boys I have kissed and which ones I really had feelings for! I do seem to have history with inappropriate men too!!

Aibu to ask how many men you have loved?

OP posts:
MondeoFan · 20/03/2021 23:33
  1. Both narcissists unfortunately, treated me badly. I obviously attracted that type of man
ChewedClickyPen · 20/03/2021 23:39

One.

I have been married twice though. I am married now to the one I do love.

I had a teenage passion, that died pretty quickly. My first husband I married as I had a young child and I thought it was the right thing to do. I was very young and I know looking back I was trying to be grown up for my young DS. We were both unhappy and it was a mistake.

My second husband, I met and I loved. From the off. I love him. Deeply. Even through all the bad times, I love him. Even when he doesn't deserve it, I love him.

I honestly don't believe in 'the one'. Yet I can't imagine living another like him.

I wasn't his first love though, which unreasonably pisses me off.... Blush

IdblowJonSnow · 20/03/2021 23:42

Six.

MM321 · 20/03/2021 23:43

I believe you can be “in love” in different ways with different people.

I’d say 2 people for me. 3 if you include my DS who is without a doubt, the love of my life ❤️

My ex bf - A 6 year flirty friendship turned into an intense 2 year relationship/FWB. I call him “the life ruiner” 🤣 in the nicest possible way! We were 18 and had intense chemistry and couldn’t stay away from each other. He didn’t ruin my life at all but I would quite happily have let him 😅 hence the name 🙈 10 years later he’s still an amazing friend and I can truly say he was my first real love. Although I think had we not had such a friendship too I would have called it infatuation.

My DH - the most honest, selfless and reliable man I know. The most amazing dad to our DS. Everything I could want in my “forever love”. —although I’d love him more if he stopped snoring— 😬

whatthehellisthiszap · 20/03/2021 23:44

Two. I'm not even sure I loved my ex or if it was infatuation. Only my husband I really love and am sure of.

Minikievs · 20/03/2021 23:46

Several, at the time. Maybe 3. Plus a teenage infatuation.
Now being single and looking back, one.
And I always will love him. I think he's the love of my life. But the moment has passed now.

Opal93 · 20/03/2021 23:46

I think I thought I loved my first boyfriend but we were only 13 and obviously it wasn’t real love. I think because my home life was so bad it really was the only positive thing I had so I got far too attached and serious too young. He just wasn’t ready for the intensity I craved. I fell head over heels in love with my now husband at sixteen. I miss him when he goes to work, he is furloughed atm and I love having him home with me. I definitely don’t think I would feel love like this again. I do sometimes miss the intensity of when we first met, the honeymoon period iyswim but that can’t last forever with anybody!

prawntoastie · 20/03/2021 23:46

I think my first I thought I loved him as he was very abusive and a man I lost my virginity to, so my first boyfriend. I was with him for 4-6yrs on and off but I don't think that was love.

I met a man I am not sure if I loved him, I was around him for 4 months and very intense, three years later I still think of him but again I am realising It is because he was emotionally abusive

my partner now we been together two years, I love him like I will do anything for him but our sex life is a bit shit due to me not him.

HeadNorth · 20/03/2021 23:49

2 - my lovely late father and my wonderful husband, over 30 years together we will hold each other's hand at the end for whichever goes first. Having a great dad I think made me able to find a great life partner and I hope I have paid it forward to our daughters. Accept nothing less than the best.

personallyvictimizedbyreginage · 20/03/2021 23:50

How many I’ve loved - 2. How many I’ve thought I’ve loved- 4. How many people I’ve told I loved them!?! Countless!

Ijustknowitstimetogo · 20/03/2021 23:58

@Pyewackect

Two men, one woman.
A new twist on an old ABBA song.
Treemama · 21/03/2021 00:06

Two. I'm married to the second one. It took me quite a while to get over my first love and had a few bfs after him that didn't mean much until I met dh who made me fall in love again.

gwenneh · 21/03/2021 00:20

Three. Two absolute cunts, and my husband.

Bobbi73 · 21/03/2021 00:40

I had many boyfriends over the years but I had a kind of innocent love with my first proper boyfriend. I had an incredibly lustful love with another and then I got knocked off my feet by the love I felt for my partner. It was the whole thing lust, love and friendship. Nearly 25 years later, we're still going strong. With 2 smallish kids, lock down stress and work, I'm really glad we had the friendship to carry us through but the love is ad strong as ever. I can't imagine loving anyone else.

Sparklesocks · 21/03/2021 00:44

Two, properly!

But I also occasionally see a man on the tube (in pre-covid days anyway) or on the street I wonder what our life together would be like if we both fell in love at first sight Grin

LaurieFairyCake · 21/03/2021 00:45

4 men

5 dogs 🐕

(The dogs were better companions Grin)

Designerenvy · 21/03/2021 00:46

Just the one

enchantedspleen · 21/03/2021 00:51

3, but the first was pure infatuation. Second was just a shit sandwich of horror. Third is DH who blows the other two away and actually showed me what love really is!

NotAPanda · 21/03/2021 00:56

Two.
I could never stay with someone whom I didn’t fancy. Am a very snoggy/cuddly person and can’t fake excitement😂

Lalanbaba · 21/03/2021 01:23
  1. First one we were 7 years together, we grew apart wanting different things and he took the decision to break the relationship. We don't speak no longer but will always have a corner of my heart. Also I still have a good relationship with his mum and sister.
Current one (and hopefully the last) caught me by surprise. I wasn't looking for anything special and realising I was falling in love was like learning to breathe again. One kid together and lots plans for the future.
StarryGazeyEyes · 21/03/2021 01:30

Proper love 2. One was a bastard but I thank him because when the second one came along I recognised it and, since this one was not a bastard, I married him.

WrenNatsworthy · 21/03/2021 01:40
  1. One is my DH and I'm still good friends with the other 2. They are both great guys and I still spend time with them occasionally.
One is happily married and I get on really well with his lovely wife - she is my friend too.

The other one is in a bad relationship and I hate that he's so unhappy.

WineTastingNotTimeWasting · 21/03/2021 01:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SmokedDuck · 21/03/2021 01:50

Maybe three?

But one was unrequited and had I been older he would not have been appealing. It's actually difficult looking back to think how very messed up he was. The second was a relationship of about six months, also when I was on the young side, probably could ever have worked.

Three I'm married to, and have been for more than 15 years - it's not really comparable because the timescale is so different. In the early years I don't know how qualitatively different it would have been from the others.

Cloudyrainsham · 21/03/2021 01:54

Two, my first real boyfriend when I was 21. Then my husband who I’ve been with for 26 years.