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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how many men you have loved?

204 replies

Laughingstock91 · 20/03/2021 12:30

I realised fairly recently that I have only really ever really loved one man in a gave me heart away sense (and unfortunately that’s not the man that I am currently with and had kids with- long story 😢)

But it’s made me really think about the relationships I have had & the boys I have kissed and which ones I really had feelings for! I do seem to have history with inappropriate men too!!

Aibu to ask how many men you have loved?

OP posts:
DinosaurDiana · 20/03/2021 20:44

One. But I don’t love him anymore, I care about him but don’t love him.

LawnFever · 20/03/2021 20:45

Two, I was utterly in love with one ex before I met DH who completely broke my heart, I still sometimes think ‘what if’ but that’s life

Usernameisgone · 20/03/2021 20:48

My first love
My best friend
My current partner

ThatchersCold · 20/03/2021 20:48

I don’t know. I’ve had a lot of relationships and thought I’ve been in love with many of them. But I’m not really sure what love is. How does lust become love? I don’t think it can be neatly categorised like that. I looked into this a while back. The feeling of love is a chemical reaction in the body caused by the release of oxytocin. I’ve definitely felt that a number of times, but then maybe a month later I couldn’t be less bothered if I never saw that person again. So I’m not really sure how real love is, or whether it’s just a social construct.

steff13 · 20/03/2021 20:50

One

HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee · 20/03/2021 20:50

One and I’m still with him

Livpool · 20/03/2021 20:51

Two and am married to one! Number one didn't deserve my love 😂

PurpleFlower1983 · 20/03/2021 20:52

Two - the first was an absolutely awful, cheating, abusive bastard. The second is my gorgeous husband who has taught me the true meaning of love.

looselegs · 20/03/2021 20:54

First serious boyfriend- broke my heart by sleeping with his ex!
Then my 1st husband- he had a drink problem and I couldn't reach him so we split.
And my 2nd husband who I've been with for 25 years.

ThePearSquare · 20/03/2021 20:54

Two, my first boyfriend, who turned out to be a total arsehole, and my husband.
The love I feel for my husband is so totally different to what I felt with my first boyfriend. I love him even when I’m angry, and I can’t put it into words why and how much so. We’ve had arguments and disagreements, but the certainty that I love him has never changed.

Thamigumathacharaid · 20/03/2021 20:55

I've only loved one man, my partner. Been together 16 years, about to have a baby and a civil partnership in a few weeks.

Proudboomer · 20/03/2021 20:59

One. He was the best man I ever met and can never be replaced.

WhatMattersMost · 20/03/2021 20:59

Nowhere near as many as I thought I loved.

missbunnyrabbit · 20/03/2021 20:59

3 Smile First never loved me back, second broke my heart so badly, and I'm still with the third!

Ilikewinter · 20/03/2021 21:01

One and it ended badly ive never truly got over the heartbreak. I built a wall that day and vowed never to give myself 100% to anyone else and i havent.

Borntohula · 20/03/2021 21:03

Several I thought but nothing like how I feel about my boyfriend.

CuntyMcBollocks · 20/03/2021 21:06

2 for me. First love at 18, which was intense but fizzled out, and met my now dh when I was 27. He's the one I'll grow old with.

RabbityMcRabbit · 20/03/2021 21:09

There were 2 who I loved who didn't really know the meaning of the word and unfortunately I married them and had children with them (Please no pile-ons here, the relationships were abusive and took me a long time to realise they were abusive)
1 first love who I adored, together 3 years.

Well and truly loved the bones of - 1. We were together 9 years and when he left 18 months ago because he wanted kids and I couldn't have any more it all but broke me. I don't think I will ever fall in love with anyone again, that part of me is gone

Happymum12345 · 20/03/2021 21:09
  1. My first love and my dh. My first love was by far the purest and deepest love. I love my dh as more like a comfy pair of slippers and security-that sounds awful!
RabbityMcRabbit · 20/03/2021 21:10

@Ilikewinter, you and me both

therocinante · 20/03/2021 21:12
  1. My first love, the first very serious adult love who was a horrible bastard, and DH.

There are two others in the mix there who I thought I was in love with, but I think was actually just extreme crushes driven by other factors, and who I'm very glad I never ended up with.

tobee · 20/03/2021 21:14

Only one. My Dh and I have been together since I was 19. Before I was 19 I wasn't old enough to know what love is. Before then I thought it was crush/lust/longing/obsession type stuff. So only Dh.

JustAddCoffee91 · 20/03/2021 21:14

I love 2 and they are my baby boys! They have all of my love, my true love

Witchcraftandhokum · 20/03/2021 21:15

None? All of them? I have no Ídea what love feels like.

Mintjulia · 20/03/2021 21:17

Two. One didn't love me. The other did and I cocked it up.

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