To ask how many men you have loved?

[Laughingstock91]

I realised fairly recently that I have only really ever really loved one man in a gave me heart away sense (and unfortunately that’s not the man that I am currently with and had kids with- long story 😢)

But it’s made me really think about the relationships I have had & the boys I have kissed and which ones I really had feelings for! I do seem to have history with inappropriate men too!!

Aibu to ask how many men you have loved?

All of them at some level, even the ones that didn't deserve it. Or maybe this should say I loved 'who i thought they were in my head'

1! I thought I’d been in love before but now I realise I absolutely hadn’t.

This, for me too. I both XHs, and I have loved ex-boyfriends, but properly being in love- just the one, DP.

Hopefully it'll be forever.

1 who I'm married too

Well, my husband because he's the father of my children.
Apart from him, I think you can only truly judge looking back when you are out of the relationships.
On that basis, I've loved one other man. I fell in love at 19 and still love him now at 43. We have always stayed in touch but it ended when I was 22. He's 20 years older. I admit I sometimes think about what might have been, however he wasn't right for me and vice versa.

I would say definitely 2 - possibly 3 or 4 (this one is new - but I adore them more than I think I should, so that makes me feel I could love them, but I'm not sure how long they will be around - flaky rather than poor health!

2
And 5 big crushes, which I could have really done without

Just the one. Met when I was 17, he 18. Still together over 11yrs later. Due our 3rd child in 6 weeks.

Two. Neither of them the father of my child.

First was my boyfriend from 17-22. Should have stayed with him really- we only split up because... well. Because we were 22. We went out a few times in our late 20s but I was mid party girl phase and not in the right place.

The second was a guy I was dating casually for about a year. He had terrible addiction problems but Ioved him immediately I got to know him. I broke it off after he didn’t turn up when he was supposed to, and rolled up 3 days later, off his nut (a weekend on crack, DMT and LSD will do that to you).
Yes I loved him, but by then I’d learned to love myself more.

Thought I loved DS’ father but I didn’t really, in hindsight. I loved the idea of him (artist, older man, troubled soul etc) but the reality was not good.

It depends on what you mean by "love", OP. There are lots of different kinds.

1. One a really evil bastard.

One a cheating twat but definitely a good guy. Not a good person but loves me still over 20 years on.

And finally a prince among men. A man who I plan to spend the rest of my life with.

1. The last has recently broken my heart in a way i wouldn't have conceived was possible.

4 - at least that's how I felt at the time. Looking back it's hard to imagine I ever loved one of them. The others I still have fond memories of in one way or another. Happily single at the moment.

I have thought I loved about seven or eight.

Now I doubt whether I actually loved any of them.

So much of what we come to think of as love is really lust or limerance.

I’m not sure if I will ever truly love a man. I just don’t think it’s possible to find anyone who ticks every box and fulfils every need.

I am happy with my current boyfriend in part because I know I don’t truly deep down love him and I could very happily live without him. It would scare me to be that dependent on someone.

One, he's my husband.
I thought I loved my first boyfriend, but after getting with my husband, I realised I never actually loved my first at all

The first relationship 16-20. It ended because frankly we were both idiots. I think I will always love him to some degree.

The one that it just never happened with . The best friend from 12 to now. He has been there for me always. I love him, not the same way as people I have been intimate with, but the love I have for him is incredibly deep. We have for the longest time been each others support system. The fact that he gets on with DH and loves the DC and is able to be part of our family is even better. I think if we'd ever had the chance to take the next step we'd have lost it all.

Finally DH, 11 years, 2 DC. The love I feel for him, and felt for him almost immediately, is unlike any other.

2 - first unrequited (though we did sleep together) , 2nd happily married to.

One .

3, possibly 4

1. There are another 2 that are close, but thinking about it now it doesn't feel the same as the 3 I am thinking about.

There have been lots of crushes and tears for other men too, but looking back I was never in love with them, just fancied them at the time.

4..
First love - short lived
Ex - complicated and I walked away (as his ex stopped him from seeing his kids when she found out he had a gf - too much drama and I’m a great believer your kids come first always)
The bad egg (tbh maybe more lust)- the man everyone warns you about. He nearly broke me.
My partner of 7 years and counting

Just the one, and will always just be the one.

One, but sadly he went on to love someone else.

Teenage first love.
Late teen relationship whom I had a child with.
Dh, who makes the last 2 feel insignificant. Like it was just a practice run to prepare for the real thing.

I've been married, and I thought I loved him, but now I'm wondering if I did or if I just thought I did.

I don't know if I've ever been in love. The only person I have ever felt truly fierce love for is DS.

Two

My first love aged 22 and my DH. Kissed a few frogs in between, but only truly loved these two