To think fuck you to those living in big houses who are following the rules?

[Hammyhamster92]

I have noticed swathe of happily married friends, in jobs they could do from home, in big houses with big gardens bitching about people not following the covid rules.

There seems to be no sympathy from these people that a large number of people not following the rules are, ( from personal experiences I know of)

1. Sharing a one bedroom flat with their two children, and no garden.

2. Living in a shared HMO where the landlord has turned the living room into another bedroom and there isno garden and no communal area.

3. Living with violent, abusive, toxic people.

4. Are bereaved.

5. Are unable to share or bubble with their partner, but don't feel they should have no contact for months.

I had a massive row with a friend today, ( call her lucy). Lucy asked what I was doing for the weekend, and I said I was going to visit ( "charlotte") as Charlotte has had a very horrible bereavment recently, ( cousin she was very close to died unexpectedly in a road accident) and was really struggling and has asked for a visit.

Consequently , I've been called all the names under the sun, I'm selfish/ horrible etc, and more so because I have to travel by train, ( I can't drive for medical reasons). Utterly sick of this shit, and it seems that some people who are living in a middle class bubble of perfection can't imagine the difficulties lockdown has caused others.

@Hammyhamster92

I have noticed swathe of happily married friends, in jobs they could do from home, in big houses with big gardens bitching about people not following the covid rules.

There seems to be no sympathy from these people that a large number of people not following the rules are, ( from personal experiences I know of)

1. Sharing a one bedroom flat with their two children, and no garden.

2. Living in a shared HMO where the landlord has turned the living room into another bedroom and there isno garden and no communal area.

3. Living with violent, abusive, toxic people.

4. Are bereaved.

5. Are unable to share or bubble with their partner, but don't feel they should have no contact for months.

I had a massive row with a friend today, ( call her lucy). Lucy asked what I was doing for the weekend, and I said I was going to visit ( "charlotte") as Charlotte has had a very horrible bereavment recently, ( cousin she was very close to died unexpectedly in a road accident) and was really struggling and has asked for a visit.

Consequently , I've been called all the names under the sun, I'm selfish/ horrible etc, and more so because I have to travel by train, ( I can't drive for medical reasons). Utterly sick of this shit, and it seems that some people who are living in a middle class bubble of perfection can't imagine the difficulties lockdown has caused others.

What has this got to do with living in a big house?

My mum lives in a big house and is sticking to the rules. I live in a horrible estate and so am I. I spend most of my day working from my bedroom glaring at the drug dealers going about their business.

My awful neighbours aren't sticking to any rules though.

What a surprise that privlidged people don't have much empathy!

Don't be friends with these people. I hate Covid judges in the circumstances you describe.

I live in a largish house with garden. I have thought throughout the pandemic how much harder it is to stay at home if you live in a flat or small house without a garden. It stands to reason. Especially if you have DC and pets. Home schooling just tops it off.

I have followed the rules to the letter. Since Christmas I have only been to work. No where else. I caught Covid. I must have caught it at work from other who presumably didn’t follow the rules

Eh?! 🤣

I can't even imagine how it must be to be locked up with an angry man for the best part of a year.

Not going into a whole debate, but you don't HAVE to because of the lockdown. It's never been in any rule or guideline that you should.

I agree. But I also think it’s important to be diplomatic with who you are sharing what you are doing. Because the rules are, stay at home. I don’t think you can happily share your plans to break them and then get sniffy when someone objects. Though I do sympathise. I had a friend with a garden complain bitterly that when she went for a walk there were lots of people with their kids at a playground chatting ‘don’t they know there’s a pandemic, they need to keep their kids safe’. She then bought a lockdown puppy.

@Okbussitout

What a surprise that privlidged people don't have much empathy!

Lovely.

What I am finding is we are all fine with our own rule breaking but not other people's.

YABU!

People with big houses and gardens aren't exempt from bereavement/domestic violence/loneliness

@FreekStar

YABU!

People with big houses and gardens aren't exempt from bereavement/domestic violence/loneliness

But having plenty of indoor and outdoor space while being in lockdown makes life so much easier.

@confettiballoons

I agree. But I also think it’s important to be diplomatic with who you are sharing what you are doing. Because the rules are, stay at home. I don’t think you can happily share your plans to break them and then get sniffy when someone objects. Though I do sympathise. I had a friend with a garden complain bitterly that when she went for a walk there were lots of people with their kids at a playground chatting ‘don’t they know there’s a pandemic, they need to keep their kids safe’. She then bought a lockdown puppy.

But the OP isn't breaking the rules. She is providing care for the vulnerable, a bereaved friend, which is allowed.

@EnoughnowIthink

on the other hand, people moving about unnecessarily, using public transport, sitting in friend's houses, buying a coffee on the station platform, visiting the supermarket for a sandwich.........is all contributing to the continued spread of covid and is impacting on everyone's lives.

I do understand the frustrations, I have a few frustrations myself as a single parent who hasn't been able to meet up with friends for months and months on end. I do think that people should be able to make their own decisions as to risk vs. mental health of their friends and loved ones and make visits such as you are mentioning, OP. However, you do need to see that bigger picture and recognise that every contact - necessary or unnecessary - is a potential opportunity to spread the virus and the more we spread it, the longer it takes for 'normal' to return and the more potential there is for it to impact you personally. It really isn't wrong for people to be frustrated by this, particularly if someone believes they have made personal sacrifices for the greater good but others don't seem able to do the same. I could easily start a thread about fuck the people who don't realise the impact covid might have on me as a single parent or what might happen to my child who is clinically vulnerable....

I teach - we have done lateral flow tests on all our students 3 times and all were negative and then the test went home.... we have closed two year groups this week due to 5 positives, including a teacher. Lord knows how many more of us may go down with it in the next 10 days. It's still out there, it's still spreading. There are people who are not yet vaccinated. There are children who are vulnerable. You can do whatever you think is right for you and your family and friends but whether you like it or not, the impact of that on other people is potentially massive.

Very well said.

I do get sick of seeing people with gardens showing off how fantastic their life is but I still have followed all the rules dispite that, I just wisper 'fuck you' to myself everytime another person posts a picture of their new hot tub in their sunny garden etc... lol.

I've lived in council houses, bed sits and grotty flats. I'm now lucky enough to live in a big house. It certainly makes life in lockdown more comfortable. Sadly it doesn't stop me being lonely nor did moving into a big house change my mental health. YABU and come across as bitter and more than a little ignorant.

What a surprise that privileged people don't have much empathy

Many have the privilege to be young, healthy, loved, unburdened even if they live in a smaller house, and they do have empathy. These generalisations that foster unrest are hideous and unfair

Lucy sounds atrocious

I'm not sure on the large house angle though tbh OP. Living in a larger house doesn't make people immune to negative repercussions from covid.
I'm in a larger house. I believe I have PTSD from what I've witnessed at work (NHS) DH was made redundant so for a large part of last year we struggled to stay afloat, my children are miserable, DH lost a very close family member to covid and the cherry on the cake is we now all have covid with DH being admitted briefly.
This would all be the same regardless of where we live.

I empathise with people who are in small houses, no outdoor space or alone. But all this boils down to the person not their house.
Lucy would probably still be a dickhead in a small house.

I find your message quite insulting. My dad died at the beginning of lockdown and my elderly mum hasn't been able to see her family since (apart from one family member who is in her bubble but not living close by). It's a tough time but we are all sticking to the rules regardless of what size house we live in etc. We stick to the rules for the benefit of the whole country, whilst others aren't thinking of us!

I have broken lockdown to support a friend this week (along with another friend, so there were three of us). I am not remotely sorry. YANBU to support your friend OP. But sure about the size of people’s homes/level of privilege angle though - Lucy just sounds like a sanctimonious dick and those exist in all socioeconomic groups!

@GoWalkabout

What I am finding is we are all fine with our own rule breaking but not other people's.

very true

but blaming other people with different circumstances because you feel at a disadvantage is a new one!

You are spot on! It’s beginning to get to me now. Of course there is a difference between a 5 bed comfy house and a 2 bedroom flat. It’s like working from home, for some it’s a joy for others it’s really difficult to find the space to do so.

But = not.

Lots of people in flats, with no gardens, living alone etc are following the rules, so you’re making silly generalisations. You also sound quite bitter.

Empathy is so important, yet in short supply sometimes...