To think fuck you to those living in big houses who are following the rules?

[Hammyhamster92]

I have noticed swathe of happily married friends, in jobs they could do from home, in big houses with big gardens bitching about people not following the covid rules.

There seems to be no sympathy from these people that a large number of people not following the rules are, ( from personal experiences I know of)

1. Sharing a one bedroom flat with their two children, and no garden.

2. Living in a shared HMO where the landlord has turned the living room into another bedroom and there isno garden and no communal area.

3. Living with violent, abusive, toxic people.

4. Are bereaved.

5. Are unable to share or bubble with their partner, but don't feel they should have no contact for months.

I had a massive row with a friend today, ( call her lucy). Lucy asked what I was doing for the weekend, and I said I was going to visit ( "charlotte") as Charlotte has had a very horrible bereavment recently, ( cousin she was very close to died unexpectedly in a road accident) and was really struggling and has asked for a visit.

Consequently , I've been called all the names under the sun, I'm selfish/ horrible etc, and more so because I have to travel by train, ( I can't drive for medical reasons). Utterly sick of this shit, and it seems that some people who are living in a middle class bubble of perfection can't imagine the difficulties lockdown has caused others.

But if the bereaved friend commits suicide is that okay as it’s not a Covid death?

Oh come on, that's ridiculuos. OP MUST visit her friend against all rules or else friend will kill herself? That's as insulting as it is stupid.

People in flats and small houses are following the rules too you know. Covid doesn't leave you alone if you think you have a good reason to go out and about.

She has zero empathy and has completely overreacted.

@DioneTheDiabolist

YANBU OP, some people have lost their sense of empathy and humanity during this pandemic.

This. And I refer to people from large homes, small homes, and everything in between.

Many people have lost empathy and rational perspective because of covid. It's frightening.

I think at this stage it is up to the individuals involved to decide what level of risk they are comfortable with.
I have had 2 doses of vaccine and a negative Lf yesterday, my Dad has had one. It’s his birthday and he came inside this morning to open his cards. We stayed distanced- no hugs.
Not sorry.

Well Lucy is a

But ... I live in a medium sized house. I am "fortunate" enough to work from home which means until recently I haven't seen anyone outside of my household for months, because by the time I finished work it was dark, and the only way to meet someone was to go for a walk in the dark. I would love to have a job where I could get out of the house and actually see other people. So lets not assume that the grass is always greener. Yes, some people have it worse than others, but it's hardly a barrel of laughs for anyone.

Not sure what the size of house or garden has to do with it. The rules apply to everyone, regardless of where they live.

@HotCrossBumsticks

But if the bereaved friend commits suicide is that okay as it’s not a Covid death?

Oh come on, that's ridiculuos. OP MUST visit her friend against all rules or else friend will kill herself? That's as insulting as it is stupid.

People in flats and small houses are following the rules too you know. Covid doesn't leave you alone if you think you have a good reason to go out and about.

Well I don’t know OP’s friend and her state of mind do I?

When I was very unwell during pregnancy I went to stay with my parents during the week as DH was working away and came home on weekends.

Other things matter apart from Covid.

I would love to have a job where I could get out of the house and actually see other people. So lets not assume that the grass is always greener. Yes, some people have it worse than others, but it's hardly a barrel of laughs for anyone.

Omg absolutely this.
I've been fortunate to WFH for most (not all) of the past year, but in doing so have felt unbelievably isolated from society as a result.

Your 'friend' is a bitch but I don't get the class war angle of it.

Also with the bubble thing, if this had happened three years ago, ( moved to a new city for work), I would have had no one within travelling distance to bubble with. There are some very, very vulnerable people who have no one to bubble with , ( or a toxic and unpleasant bubble), and I don't think it's been the 100% fix it's been talked up as.

Yanbu

We may all be weathering the same storm, but we do not have the same vessels

Well I don’t know OP’s friend and her state of mind do I

No, so why would you assume something so extreme? It's idiotic.

Basically the comment r.e big houses

YAB massively U to think rules don't apply to you, and you are special for any reason.

That's how we ended up in lockdown before Christmas, so thanks for that.

Your house is too small, someone else's house is big so they can safely have friends and family for a party and sleepovers, you are bored of working from home, they are bored of going to work and think fuck it when they have to commute anyway...

so people like you, who don't "feel" they should give a damn about anything because they are too precious. It's easy to find excuses but your actions impact us all.

And YABU for making up rules to suit you, when guidelines mean you really don't need to make things up
For example:

Household isolation instructions as a result of coronavirus do not apply if you need to leave your home to escape domestic abuse

@siyhack58342

Your 'friend' is a bitch but I don't get the class war angle of it.

Not sure I entirely do either.

Like I say, in my circles I've honestly seen the most Covid police type judgement from those considered less "privileged" by the OP's definition.

YABU. I live in a big house and it has a big garden.
One of our parents died of Covid and the other one is left grief-stricken at 85. I have had Covid, my DH and 2 DC have had it. My dad, brother, aunt, uncle all had it bad. I might be being made redundant next week. I am waiting to hear, due to Covid. So, my house may be bigger than yours, but I have been affected by Covid more than the average person.

Just because you have a big house and garden doesn't mean you won't get it. It is indiscriminate.

Sorry for your friend, but spreading the virus, is spreading the virus no matter what your situation in life.

Is whilst I accept most financially stable people are not like Lucy, she , ( and others I know in similar financial positions), are continually criticising people less fortunate for breaking rules which are easier for them to keep

I wouldn’t mind you going to visit as it’s exceptional circumstances - even on the train, but I hope you go for a walk rather than go inside the house. You can’t change the train but you can minimise risk by other actions, ie being outside.

So to me, it depends on the circumstances.

People claiming that we are all in the same boat are fucking deluded there is a huge difference between the QE2 and a fucking dinghy

I've ignored 99% of the "covid breaches" because they are for the most part lonely desperate people socially distancing in a cold garden making sure each other is ok the house parties get reported because there is simply no need but if your trying your best to stay safe and making sure your neighbours don't try anything stupid then I see no harm mental health support has gone to the wall in this pandemic we must take care of each other

I know friends have broken lockdown to reach out to other friends who have suddenly been left by their partner, or bereaved, a couple of visits I absolutely don't judge, in fact, I think they would be odd if they would turn away a sobbing friend.

Lucy sounds like a twat

I hope you told your friend to do one.

But like the Stasi, the Covid police have no regard for house size or class, they are absolutely everywhere.

Plenty of people in all sorts of accommodation have stuck to the rules.

Plenty of people in all sorts of accommodation have bent the rules to suit themselves.

It's really not surprising that people in either camp aren't awfully keen on each other right now.

Your friend sounds judgey and you sound defensive. Not a great recipe for friendship,

@londonscalling

I do sympathise and realise life is difficult. However, it's against all the rules of lockdown to go and visit a friend. We are told to stay home to save the lives of those around us.

Not if it's to provide much needed mental health support.

My BIL lost his son a few months back. We said bollocks to covid rules and spent a couple of weekends with him and his partner. So your friend is a horrible cow. Sometimes rules have to be broken.