To think fuck you to those living in big houses who are following the rules?

[Hammyhamster92]

I have noticed swathe of happily married friends, in jobs they could do from home, in big houses with big gardens bitching about people not following the covid rules.

There seems to be no sympathy from these people that a large number of people not following the rules are, ( from personal experiences I know of)

1. Sharing a one bedroom flat with their two children, and no garden.

2. Living in a shared HMO where the landlord has turned the living room into another bedroom and there isno garden and no communal area.

3. Living with violent, abusive, toxic people.

4. Are bereaved.

5. Are unable to share or bubble with their partner, but don't feel they should have no contact for months.

I had a massive row with a friend today, ( call her lucy). Lucy asked what I was doing for the weekend, and I said I was going to visit ( "charlotte") as Charlotte has had a very horrible bereavment recently, ( cousin she was very close to died unexpectedly in a road accident) and was really struggling and has asked for a visit.

Consequently , I've been called all the names under the sun, I'm selfish/ horrible etc, and more so because I have to travel by train, ( I can't drive for medical reasons). Utterly sick of this shit, and it seems that some people who are living in a middle class bubble of perfection can't imagine the difficulties lockdown has caused others.

@pucelleauxblanchesmains

"This really is a vile thread. And if this is how people actually view those of us who have larger houses, then it’s a sad day." SO sorry that some plebs have hurt your feelings

Strangers on the net really don't care about the sizes of the houses other strangers on the net live in. Really.

Who cares about impressing a bunch of fonts?

I don't think OP was really intending to lash out at everyone with a big house. She was venting.
And yes, it's bound to be more annoying when someone with all the advantages that help them deal with the shittiness of lockdown, picks on someone with none of them, to moan about.

Yes, peoplle in comfortable houses are still going to have emotional issues and problems. But those same problems and upsets would be made far harder to deal with in a very much more confined and uncomfortable area with no outdoors and no quiet space. I know I'm hugely grateful for my light spacious living room and garden. They help lift my spirits. When I see my friend's tiny shared spaces with no outdoors, and in one case the only view from the one window being of a ten storey wall four feet away, I think I'd lose my mind, especially if I was bereaved or had a seriously ill loved one that I couldn't visit.

If anyone with a nice house and garden can't see that and feels hard done by, by this thread, they really do need an empathy check.

Another point is that people in big houses are there because they haven't fucked up. Those who are going stir crazy in two rooms with three offspring perhaps should've planned better....

We reap what we sow. I've worked hard for my comforts and practiced prudence and self-restraint.

If someone else chose to procreate beyond their means rather than invest in career and savings, and therefore now is trapped in a small no-garden dwelling- whose fault is that? I worked hard and sacrificed and delayed a lot of gratification to earn my so-called' privilege.

PerveenMistry - your post stinks like a skunk

I live in a big house with a big garden and am following the rules 100%
I am CEV and the last year has been shit.
I havent been out in the garden for atleast 6 months

You cant generalise everyone, because you have no idea what they are going through !!!!

@PerveenMistry

Another point is that people in big houses are there because they haven't fucked up. Those who are going stir crazy in two rooms with three offspring perhaps should've planned better....

We reap what we sow. I've worked hard for my comforts and practiced prudence and self-restraint.

If someone else chose to procreate beyond their means rather than invest in career and savings, and therefore now is trapped in a small no-garden dwelling- whose fault is that? I worked hard and sacrificed and delayed a lot of gratification to earn my so-called' privilege.

Yes. I wouldn't have put it quite like that but we all make choices in life. The op hasn't told us what she considers to be a 'big' house anyway. Do people in 'big' houses not have problems at different times in their lives? I hate the jealousy and resentment of others who appear to be better off, it's so pointless not to say ungracious.

Wow.

The point really has sailed way over the heads of most people on this thread.

Oh for ffs!! Of course people with big houses and gardens have it easier. Yes they can still have hardship but generally speaking a big house and garden is going to make this pandemic easier than not having these things.
I am flabbergasted at how insulted some wealthy and privileged people are by this post - and I am wealthy (relatively) and privileged.

Covid doesn’t care if you live in a big house. The rules are there to protect us but if you want to break them go ahead. You don’t need to justify yourself. Or are you saying this because you know it’s wrong and you want someone to tell you it’s ok.

I don't care to judge others. Our home isn't huge but comfortable. I haven't seen my parents since September of last year as they live in England and we live in Scotland. Living in a 4 bed house doesn't mean I miss them any less than someone in a 2 bed flat that can stand in their mum's garden down the road. Next door have their parents around every weekend, the parents don't work at the weekends so it isn't for childcare and both parents come so it isn't a bubble with one person. Do I begrudge it, no, it is up to them to make their own choices. What is easier for me is that we have space to play, get out in our garden, dh will happily give me a lift to work so I don't need to use public transport. I do still have to go out to work as can't wfh, I do still have to deal with people who won't wear masks, I do still have to deal with people who want to use the consultation room which has no ventilation and in which you can't stand a 2 m distance away and get pissedl off when I refuse but if your gp can refuse why can't I? I can't socially distance from people I work with so we are relying on each other to follow the rules, some don't. The virus doesn't care what your reasons are for not following the rules, it will still spread. I can only try my best to keep distance, wash my hands regularly when I come into contact with people and hope for the best. We don't know how someone will react to it until they have had it. Dh's cousins family had covid. Most were fine with minor symptoms, one is still coughing and feels weak 8 months later, their mum was hospitalised but came home after a month, their dad ended up in an induced coma and died. You can travel for funerals but dh thought a 7 hour car journey was probably not advisable to attend a funeral where he couldn't help with any funeral rites or hug his widowed auntie was probably not a good idea. He would have liked to comfort his bereaved auntie too but did so over the phone, via watsapp video calls.

Your friend was rude but she is entitled to her opinion and unless you are in a bubble with your bereaved friend you are breaking the rules.

I live in the country. Most of the people where I live have larger middle class type houses. But they are very aware how lucky they are to have this space. They have also worked very hard for it.

I think it is very unfair to judge a person on the size of their house. Or to assume they are living blessed lives and sitting safely away from it all in their fancy houses. Several of my neighbours are drs and nurses. They have been working almost non stop during the lockdown. Others are self employed and have barely any money coming in. I have a neighbour that volunteers for search and rescue. He's been out a lot searching for people who have gone on long walks unprepared, to escape their small flats or those with mental health issues the pandemic as badly effected. Others are volunteering for local groups to help out people less fortunate. All these people live in big houses but put themselves at risk to help others.

Yanbu . Rich folk really haven't got a clue about what's happening in the real world beyond their happy little bubble.

Well at least when the UK becomes a police state in the not too very distant future we will know who is going to be ratting us in to the covid cops.

Avoid the Lucie’s of this world, they’re the ones who blindly follow the rules without taking a step back and thinking, “hang on a minute is this really right?”

Don’t extrapolate from one horrible individual 🙄. That’s being rather dim. You definitely need better friends.

Pretty much everyone I know is in Lucy’s category and all fall over themselves to say “it’s alright for us” etc and several friends are actively involved in practical assistance for struggling families. I have heard zero judgement from family friends or neighbours.

honestly saying you wouldn't rather be having a crap time in a big house than in a small one

This is probably the only factually correct statement in the whole thread. And even then, some could say it's relative, as a larger house means higher costs and more maintenance (what happens if your income has been reduced or you are CEV and can get no one in to help?)

So yes, the insult on the thread's title is very rude and please stop using the word 'privileged' as it's offensive too

I’d suggest Lucy’s stance relates more to her than the size of her house . If I had a recently bereaved friend like yours I’d visit them too - wear a mask indoors and not sit too close just like I do / have been doing at work throughout this pandemic .

Is it really any wonder we have such a mental health issue in this country when people are still so quick to assume that because someone has money or space then all must be hunky dory in their world and they should just stop complaining.

Why do we need to have a race to the bottom? Why do we need so much comparison and looking for reason why someone should be grateful rather than accepting everyone will be struggling in their own way.

This reminds me of how I thought in the start of lockdown last year.
I live in the forest and in a very privileged area. But i live in a 2 bed flat with my 2 children and partner.
I remember people who live near me in their big houses and gardens moaning about people who dont live here coming for walks here and leaving rubbish. Now, as much as I hate rubbish and it was against the rules to travel to a different area, give them a break!! They probably live in flats in citys and big towns and need some fresh air. But because the people here live here they seemed themselves aloud to go out? I remember someone I know who is in her twenties and lives at home with her parents in a massive house with a huge garden was moaning about needing fresh air?! Like you literally have a garden??? I would of given my left arm for a garden in lockdown!!

I live in a detached house with a garden in a nice area. I have 3 empty bedrooms - one of which I’ve turned into an art studio for my crappy attempts at art. I have a PlayStation 4 and play computer games when I’m bored, I have two dogs I can walk at any time of day ... when all this Covid lark started I thought “why are people whinging? It’s not hard to stay at home!” But then I saw a news program showing families in tiny high rise flats going stir crazy ... I thought “shit, that would be horrendous!” So now I see both sides and I count my lucky stars every single day.
I’m on the autistic spectrum so I don’t recognise other people’s struggles until I literally see it. YANBU op.

@Sirzy

Is it really any wonder we have such a mental health issue in this country when people are still so quick to assume that because someone has money or space then all must be hunky dory in their world and they should just stop complaining.

Why do we need to have a race to the bottom? Why do we need so much comparison and looking for reason why someone should be grateful rather than accepting everyone will be struggling in their own way.

Exactly how I feel.

Making comparisons is pointless and I doubt it brings any satisfaction to the person making them.

The census (remember to do it today everyone other than those in Scotland where it is next year) asks for numbers of bed rooms. I was trying to ensure it was not clear on line how many bed rooms I have in case we get mansion taxes in due course so let us hope they cannot use the census data for that purpose - I assume not.

Do fill it in, not least because it is a crime not to do so.

@mummywithhermini

Yanbu . Rich folk really haven't got a clue about what's happening in the real world beyond their happy little bubble.

Who said anything about rich people? The op was talking about people who live in bigger dwellings than many others, doesn't mean they are 'rich'. It's all relative.

@PerveenMistry

Another point is that people in big houses are there because they haven't fucked up. Those who are going stir crazy in two rooms with three offspring perhaps should've planned better....

We reap what we sow. I've worked hard for my comforts and practiced prudence and self-restraint.

If someone else chose to procreate beyond their means rather than invest in career and savings, and therefore now is trapped in a small no-garden dwelling- whose fault is that? I worked hard and sacrificed and delayed a lot of gratification to earn my so-called' privilege.

Oh dear. Speechless. I don't know where to begin, and I dont think this poster is capable of empathy or insight so I won't bother.

@PerveenMistry

Another point is that people in big houses are there because they haven't fucked up. Those who are going stir crazy in two rooms with three offspring perhaps should've planned better....

We reap what we sow. I've worked hard for my comforts and practiced prudence and self-restraint.

If someone else chose to procreate beyond their means rather than invest in career and savings, and therefore now is trapped in a small no-garden dwelling- whose fault is that? I worked hard and sacrificed and delayed a lot of gratification to earn my so-called' privilege.

You might have nice stuff but you’re an ugly person inside. Hope you feel better for that little outburst. You actually sound quite bitter and unhappy.

Covid has brought out a lot of busy bodies OP. I think friends will have had several fall outs over Covid issues.

What you need to remember regarding Covid people are looking from their own POV instead of generally this is what I have noticed. If their situation changed tomorrow would they take a different stance?