To think fuck you to those living in big houses who are following the rules?

[Hammyhamster92]

I have noticed swathe of happily married friends, in jobs they could do from home, in big houses with big gardens bitching about people not following the covid rules.

There seems to be no sympathy from these people that a large number of people not following the rules are, ( from personal experiences I know of)

1. Sharing a one bedroom flat with their two children, and no garden.

2. Living in a shared HMO where the landlord has turned the living room into another bedroom and there isno garden and no communal area.

3. Living with violent, abusive, toxic people.

4. Are bereaved.

5. Are unable to share or bubble with their partner, but don't feel they should have no contact for months.

I had a massive row with a friend today, ( call her lucy). Lucy asked what I was doing for the weekend, and I said I was going to visit ( "charlotte") as Charlotte has had a very horrible bereavment recently, ( cousin she was very close to died unexpectedly in a road accident) and was really struggling and has asked for a visit.

Consequently , I've been called all the names under the sun, I'm selfish/ horrible etc, and more so because I have to travel by train, ( I can't drive for medical reasons). Utterly sick of this shit, and it seems that some people who are living in a middle class bubble of perfection can't imagine the difficulties lockdown has caused others.

I'm not going to slag off people in big houses (as I posted earlier, I have a smallish four-bed place to myself) but I do judge anyone for whom lockdown has been relatively unproblematic, criticising a minor bending of the rules by someone very very less fortunate. There are some incredibly lonely old people, some desperate bereaved people, and some who have a close family member who they may never see again. If those are able to do something that is close to risk free as possible (like sit in their garden, hold sanitised hands, or hug with masks on, faces turned away from each other) then good luck to them.

Not sure why this translates into your thread title. Lucy is just unpleasant.

@londonscalling

I do sympathise and realise life is difficult. However, it's against all the rules of lockdown to go and visit a friend. We are told to stay home to save the lives of those around us.

ugh....and proving the OP's point

I do judge anyone for whom lockdown has been relatively unproblematic, criticising a minor bending of the rules by someone very very less fortunate.

Is there anyone for whom lockdown has been unproblematic? Who gets to decide that the other person has had an easier ride? We aren't inside each other's heads after all.

I wonder where people draw the line at following “the rules?”

5 years? 10 years?

Would you always do as you were told by the government?

I've been struggling to get a Waitrose delivery and had to made do with Tesco. We all have problems, just have to get on with things the best we can in these difficult times

How terrible for you. This lockdown has been very tough on many people but this is next level deprivation!! Don’t feel you need to reply if it’s too triggering but have you been forced to mingle with PLEBS?
Best wishes to you, let’s hope this nightmare is over quickly before you are forced to plunge to the depths of Aldi’s.

Lucy can chuff off, you on the other hand sound great.

@clarepetal

Lucy can chuff off, you on the other hand sound great.

How exactly is someone who assumes that those who live in houses haven’t suffered bereavement, domestic violence or loneliness in the last year nice?

She is being just as judgemental as her friend!

I couldn’t agree with you more. I’ve had a ‘good lockdown’ due to the size and location of my home, great DH, etc. but if I had been single, living on my own, as I was three years ago, there is no way I would have stuck to the rules, they are untenable for single people. Anyone who criticises anyone like you, who has had a ‘good lockdown’, needs to STFU. I live in a beautiful part of the south east, I’m sick of the endless posts on Nextdoor.com slating ‘those London’ families who have the temerity to go for walks in ‘our’ countryside the selfishness and solipsism is sickening

If slagging off other people because you’re jealous of them makes you ‘great’ than goodness I’m not great 😣

@MiaChia

If slagging off other people because you’re jealous of them makes you ‘great’ than goodness I’m not great 😣

No, me neither.

Just because someone had a "good lockdown" doesn't mean anyone else had. It's like having a "good jail term". You might see a year in jail as a nice relaxing time, it's a shit hole for the rest of us.

So it's a bit rich to criticise someone not congratulating you for breaking the rules and risking making the lockdown even longer. Selfishness impact all of us.

@sassbott

What a horrible judgemental post.

Could you imagine my coming along and making some horrible judgemental sweeping generalisation about a ‘less privileged’ part of society.

You may be doing what you think is best. So keep it to yourself because bluntly you’re breaking the rules and I give zero fucks about your situation.
But if you go around advertising what you’re doing, then fully expect someone to give you their opinion.

I have friends who don’t have children and live alone. They’re dating/ hooking up with people all the time! I live in a big house, with kids and am adhering to the guidelines.

Do I think they have any more right than me (a single mum) to get their end away? No. I don’t. But because I have a big house and garden my plight/ empathy is less?

No. It’s got nothing to do with my house / garden. You break the rules - you’re a selfish fucker. Justify it all you want, but thems the breaks. Especially for those of us who are bloody struggling yet stick to the rules

THIS IN SPADES

Is there anyone for whom lockdown has been unproblematic

^This. And many who have suffered badly are not vindictive and trying to stir up trouble. Shameful

You know what annoys me? I have many friends and family who have basically wasted the last year and a bit of their lives doing nothing and then complaining about it. I often have to remind them that life didn’t stop, and many of us across class divides still found ways of doing fun stuff that was broadly in the rules. Broadly because my dad had 2 beareavements due to this disease and there was no way I was letting my parents suffer alone just because Boris or the law said so.

Just to clarify this post wasn't about "slating those in big houses," but people who are very privileged not understanding lockdown is harder for others.

I think it’s appalling that some posters feel it’s fine to slag off people with big houses

I don't think the OP was slagging off everyone with a big house: only those who ignore the fact that not everyone does, and that lockdown may be harder for those in cramped conditions.

Have you read the title you used? Or the levels of judgement in your opening post.

Have you thought that some people may struggle with people bending the rules because they have spent the last year shielding in order to try to stay alive and they want to get out some time soon?

Everyone has faced different personal battles this year. They aren’t limited by the size of your home

@londonscalling

I do sympathise and realise life is difficult. However, it's against all the rules of lockdown to go and visit a friend. We are told to stay home to save the lives of those around us.

There is a care exemption and you can visit anyone who is vulnerable. Why don't you check the law before you virtue signal?

Have you thought that some people may struggle with people bending the rules because they have spent the last year shielding in order to try to stay alive and they want to get out some time soon

oh is that why they were doing it? I thought they were shielding so they wouldn't catch covid, wouldn't be a burden on the NHS and were thereby protecting the rest of us

My partner died 2 days before the start of the November lockdown. I now live alone (our dog had to be euthanased 2 days after DP died), but have managed not to break the rules. Neither has his mother, who has only gone beyond her gate 3 or 4 times in over a year.

The worst observer of Covid restrictions that I know is DP's son, who lives in a 3-bedroomed house with a lodger. He's basically carrying on as normal with regard to visiting friends and vice versa. He's T1 diabetic, too, and won't have the vaccination.

@Donotfeedthebears

I wonder where people draw the line at following “the rules?”

5 years? 10 years?

Would you always do as you were told by the government?

Excellent question. In some cases, this year's lockdown-observing non-occupier of a ventilator bed is next year's suicide attempt. They can't have it both ways. Physically safe and currently out of hospital maybe, but mentally in a very dangerous place.

I don't think the virus will decide not to infect you because you're going to meet a grieving friend but will infect others if they have a party.

No, but statistically you're at more risk of getting/transmitting Covid if you're with lots of people at the same time, than with one person. Not saying that you can't get it from being with one person, but it's less likely.

Also a grieving person may be at serious risk of damage to their health- mental and even physical - whereas avoiding a party will not destroy people's health.

Yep I definitely know a few Lucys!

My DH went to have dinner at a good friends house- inside, windows maybe open but door firmly shut as it was February & freezing

His friend's wife had just walked out on him taking their young son with her and he was in pieces, drinking during the day & talking about dark thoughts

DH didn't hesitate to go over there, plus he took public transport, the horror

*Have you thought that some people may struggle with people bending the rules because they have spent the last year shielding in order to try to stay alive and they want to get out some time soon

oh is that why they were doing it? I thought they were shielding so they wouldn't catch covid, wouldn't be a burden on the NHS and were thereby protecting the rest of us*

These aren't mutually exclusive.