To think fuck you to those living in big houses who are following the rules?

[Hammyhamster92]

I have noticed swathe of happily married friends, in jobs they could do from home, in big houses with big gardens bitching about people not following the covid rules.

There seems to be no sympathy from these people that a large number of people not following the rules are, ( from personal experiences I know of)

1. Sharing a one bedroom flat with their two children, and no garden.

2. Living in a shared HMO where the landlord has turned the living room into another bedroom and there isno garden and no communal area.

3. Living with violent, abusive, toxic people.

4. Are bereaved.

5. Are unable to share or bubble with their partner, but don't feel they should have no contact for months.

I had a massive row with a friend today, ( call her lucy). Lucy asked what I was doing for the weekend, and I said I was going to visit ( "charlotte") as Charlotte has had a very horrible bereavment recently, ( cousin she was very close to died unexpectedly in a road accident) and was really struggling and has asked for a visit.

Consequently , I've been called all the names under the sun, I'm selfish/ horrible etc, and more so because I have to travel by train, ( I can't drive for medical reasons). Utterly sick of this shit, and it seems that some people who are living in a middle class bubble of perfection can't imagine the difficulties lockdown has caused others.

she shouldn’t call you names and I get it, she is privileged, she will not be affected by it. She can stay home and follow the COVID-19 rules and still be ok. She have security when most people don’t have a choice.

BUT, it is unfair to those who don’t get a choice to stay home and they want to be protected from Covid-19 too. People at my work (U.S. in case the rules are different) had to deal with maskless people all day long because they don’t want to wear it (the workers do though) they make minimum wages and they don’t have very good health insurance and some of their family members are high risk of complications but none of these people care. I don’t care what their background is, they should at least show some empathy to people who don’t have a choice

I'm so sorry @LackieLady

The only rule breaking which annoys me is house parties or birthday parties.
Everything else is down to the individual to assess the risk and if they wish to do so.

Unfortunately the rhetoric of covid was that it's only breaking the rules which results in cases which is absolute rubbish.
Ventilation plays a huge part, many cases are caught in medical settings and work places. Cold temperatures and lack of ventilation causes outbreaks in food processing places etc etc.

It's a virus at the end of the day it doesn't say right you having a cup of tea with your pal I will get you...... 🙄 It's time we stopped finger pointing and had some humanity. Take your own considerations if your not comfortable with a situation then don't do it.

I don't know what this has to do with living in a big house has got to do with this.
We live in a relatively big house, which was largely furnished with second hand, charity shop finds, but by supporting each other through professional qualifications we are now in a position of relative comfort. ( took us 30 years!)
Husband's mum died in a care home but we couldn't visit her or attend her funeral. ( she died of Covid) and my mum is frail ( 200 miles away.)
Haven't seen her since last Easter.
We've accepted this and we've stuck to the rules. My husband has a serious health condition which has added to this.
We've lived in a tiny bubble other than my part time job .
It's hard, but you cannot tar everyone with the same brush.

I have followed the rules to the letter. Since Christmas I have only been to work. No where else. I caught Covid. I must have caught it at work from other who presumably didn’t follow the rules

@StanfordPines you probably did catch it at work but I can’t understand why you think you caught it from someone not following the rules. You could have caught it from a pupil whose mum/dad is an ICU nurse or something.

OP your title is inflammatory but I get your point. It’s the old don’t judge someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.

[quote tangerinelollipop]@LakieLady

Sorry for your loss[/quote]
Thank you, @tangerinelollipop.

NHS doctor up the road had people round today - inside and out - cars lined up! These rest of us follow the rules and that lot who have been on full pay all year think they can put two fingers up to them. I don't even support the CV19 rules but at least I follow them.

NHS doctor up the road had people round today - inside and out - cars lined up! These rest of us follow the rules and that lot who have been on full pay all year think they can put two fingers up to them. I don't even support the CV19 rules but at least I follow them.

You have no idea why.... Maybe their parent died, maybe they've just had a baby..maybe they've had a mental health crisis (wouldn't blame them!) You literally have no idea why.

I live in a small flat with a child. We are not using this as an excuse to break the rules. I know lots of people that live in much larger properties than we do. But I can't say that it's sooo much easier for them. It's hard no matter how many rooms you have.

Seeing a grieving friend is a totally acceptable reason for rule breaking. Having a small house is not.

Lucy sounds unpleasant.

I think that visiting a distressed bereaved would be allowed in any case under "caring" as surely mh crisis in bereavement is reasonable.

However, for your "fuck to u" sentiment and generalisation to people that have not harmed you or wished you ill - fuck you and fuck off, for that you come across as a prick.

Best wishes for your friend though and hope the easing of lockdown starts to ease your situation.

I don't really understand why someone living in a big house means they can't be annoyed about someone breaking the rules in general.(I live in a normal size house)

There are some situations like the one that the OP mentioned that I agree, going to see the friend is the right thing to do, as long as a load of other friends are not also seeing her too or the meeting is outside.

YABU. By all means be annoyed with your friend for criticising you, but being annoyed with all people in big houses for following the rules (as per your thread title) is ridiculous. Do you think that people in big houses should not be following the rules? Or is it that you think nobody should live in big houses? I live in a reasonably big house and I follow the rules. That doesn't mean I don’t understand that other people have it much harder than me and might have reasons for breaking rules.

Fuck Lucy

I thought it was terrible last summer that people without gardens were not allowed to sit in parks. I have a garden I don't need parks or playgrounds, others do and should have been given priority.

@InFiveMins

Couldn't agree with you more OP. Those posters bleating on about the rules even though the OP said her friend was struggling because of a bereavement should be ashamed. It's a disgrace that 'the rules' should come before basic humanity.

This with bells on.

The lack of empathy and ability to think critically is significantly more scary than the threat of covid imo.

My DS (11) had a breakdown during the first lockdown. He needed intervention and the MH practitioner agreed being stuck in a small 2 bedroom terraced with no garden is really not helping matters. (We were meant to move into a bigger property at the start of 2020 but it fell through last minute then Corona happened. DH's hours reduced so everything was put on hold). Ds's sensory issues meant he needed quiet time - kinda hard with DH WFH, paper thin walls and loud neighbours, DC2 being a normal child who loves singing and playing loudly. The practitioner hinted massively that we send him to my DP's (they are low risk and live 5 minutes away), as they have a large garden, spare rooms he can use for quiet time but I was reluctant to because of the rules. After the birth of dc3 in October we could bubble with them without breaking any laws, he has been going there regularly and greatly improved.

I know many in bigger houses have had their share of issues, but for us personally, I believe a bigger house and garden would have helped us avoid DS's breakdown. I feel for any ASD child (and their families) currently stuck in a small house because it's utterly, utterly shit.

This is a pointless argument. Those people who think the rules don't apply to them will never accept that they are putting other people at risk. Their need to see someone or do something will always be justified in their mind.
It's just a numbers game - hopefully those still following the rules will be enough to make a difference to the death rate.

when all these celebs with their pools ect moaned such and Ella degensrous it annoyed me.

im also in a flat, no garden but some with gardens are small and boring

fact is everyone has their own struggles even super rich

Honestly think everyone has gone insane, talking about OP "lacking moral fibre" for wanting to visit a suddenly bereaved friend. It's turned people into spiteful, po-faced curtain twitchers.

Also, for the "what about meeeee I live in a big house" brigade: are you honestly saying you wouldn't rather be having a crap time in a big house than in a small one (and I do currently live in a big house and I acknowledge that with less space and no garden my depression would be even worse! Obviously it would?)

@ThereOnceWasANote

This is a pointless argument. Those people who think the rules don't apply to them will never accept that they are putting other people at risk. Their need to see someone or do something will always be justified in their mind. It's just a numbers game - hopefully those still following the rules will be enough to make a difference to the death rate.

You're correct.

As we say in the US, "Can't fix stupid."

"This really is a vile thread. And if this is how people actually view those of us who have larger houses, then it’s a sad day." SO sorry that some plebs have hurt your feelings

@tangerinelollipop

Life in chains is not a life

Overlydramatic and hyperbolic. Infection control measures are temporary

Exactly.

What drama queens. Read a book, watch a television program, do some yoga. God, the whiners are legion.

"The virus doesn't care about the reason behind prohibited interactions. Comforting someone because they are needy or lonely or bereaved doesn't exempt you from being responsible.

Those of you rule-breaking have decided it's ok for you to risk others' lives to assuage your own temporary boredom or loneliness." This is a) factually wrong because you can visit in some circumstances b) sociopathic, although I do recall the person who posted it was berating people's children a few months back for being "selfish" and "needy" for finding it hard isolating alone from the rest of their family, so clearly there's something just a bit nasty about them.

I live in a big house with a big garden. I have followed the rules. But I would not say anything to a friend if they told me they were going to visit a friend in need. In fact I wouldn't say anything if they said they were just popping to a mates for a coffee. I might inwardly raise an eye brow though.
Lucy sounds awful, but I'm not sure it's because she has a big house!