To think fuck you to those living in big houses who are following the rules?

[Hammyhamster92]

I have noticed swathe of happily married friends, in jobs they could do from home, in big houses with big gardens bitching about people not following the covid rules.

There seems to be no sympathy from these people that a large number of people not following the rules are, ( from personal experiences I know of)

1. Sharing a one bedroom flat with their two children, and no garden.

2. Living in a shared HMO where the landlord has turned the living room into another bedroom and there isno garden and no communal area.

3. Living with violent, abusive, toxic people.

4. Are bereaved.

5. Are unable to share or bubble with their partner, but don't feel they should have no contact for months.

I had a massive row with a friend today, ( call her lucy). Lucy asked what I was doing for the weekend, and I said I was going to visit ( "charlotte") as Charlotte has had a very horrible bereavment recently, ( cousin she was very close to died unexpectedly in a road accident) and was really struggling and has asked for a visit.

Consequently , I've been called all the names under the sun, I'm selfish/ horrible etc, and more so because I have to travel by train, ( I can't drive for medical reasons). Utterly sick of this shit, and it seems that some people who are living in a middle class bubble of perfection can't imagine the difficulties lockdown has caused others.

@LakieLady

Sorry for your loss

@Hammyhamster92

Just to clarify this post wasn't about "slating those in big houses," but people who are very privileged not understanding lockdown is harder for others.

Perhaps your title could have better reflected that.

I live in a deprived area. At the beginning of the first lockdown a journalist wrote a scandal piece about how all the (brown) people here weren’t obeying the rules. It massively fucked me off because the reason people were out and about us because they were traveling to their crappy minimum wage jobs that don’t pay enough to live near their work, going to the launderette because they can’t afford a washing machine etc. Fucking sneering journalist just spent a morning wandering around and slagged off a whole town.

@FuckMeImFamous

I couldn’t agree with you more. I’ve had a ‘good lockdown’ due to the size and location of my home, great DH, etc. but if I had been single, living on my own, as I was three years ago, there is no way I would have stuck to the rules, they are untenable for single people. Anyone who criticises anyone like you, who has had a ‘good lockdown’, needs to STFU. I live in a beautiful part of the south east, I’m sick of the endless posts on Nextdoor.com slating ‘those London’ families who have the temerity to go for walks in ‘our’ countryside the selfishness and solipsism is sickening

I'm single and I've been fine, keeping busy with work, DIY, my pet, online socializing and creative projects.

I keep distanced because it's the only right thing to do to end this, and don't need "government " to enforce it.

All of you superspreaders rationializing going out and about should be ashamed. Read a book ffs.

@LucieStar

I do judge anyone for whom lockdown has been relatively unproblematic, criticising a minor bending of the rules by someone very very less fortunate.

Is there anyone for whom lockdown has been unproblematic? Who gets to decide that the other person has had an easier ride? We aren't inside each other's heads after all.

That's why I used the word 'relatively'. It's been grim for everyone, but it's been close to unbearable for some.

I've had nothing important (weddings etc) cancelled. My family all live nearby so we can walk together. I can see my newish grandchild. No-one in my family has been seriously ill or dying (I can't imagine how we as a family would have coped with my DH's illness and death if it had happened in the last 12 months instead of a few years ago)

My friend's wife has stage 4 cancer and their son is on the other side of the world and can't get back. She may die before he can (even if he is allowed to fly over now, he has to spend two weeks in quarantine and she may die when he's that close to seeing her, and she, him. My next door neighbours haven't left the house in 12 months because of shielding and sheer anxiety. I've posted about my friends basically living in one room throughout. You don't have to get into someone's head to know when you've had it better than them.

Shoplifting is illegal for everyone but I would have more sympathy for a person who does it because they are starving than someone who does it out of boredom or whatever.

As for the " what does my nine bedroom house have to do with anything?" smh.

I get what you're saying, but I don't think that judgement is reserved just for those in big houses etc.

I live in a 3 bed, no kids, two bedrooms used as offices. Both been able to fully wfh for a year now. Theoretically better off than colleagues with kids working from kitchen tables etc.

But every single other person at our work is entitled to some form of bubble, and has relatives living close by. My parents live 200 miles away, and I haven't seen them since September.

I have not wavered. I would rather my risk of death were increase by 100x than have the measures in place.

Speak for yourself. There are a lot of us who are TERRIFIED of sickness, death, and worst of all, chronic long-term ill-health.

the state has banned marriage entirely

No, it hasn't. It has banned weddings temporarily - not marriages. The two are different.
.
The UK is not unique in this. Most states have also chosen to rob people of their freedoms to ensure a few older/sick people live a few more years.

THAT IS UNBELIEVABLY CRUEL! 40 per cent of the population have some sort of chronic health condition. Do you think we are all worthless, useless eaters, and should be thrown to the wolves for the sake of 'Liberty'? In any case, I know young people with no known pre-existing conditions who have severe problems with long Covid.

Liberty or death. Life in chains is not a life.

Liberty is NOTHING without health preservation!!! You don't have any liberty if you're dead, and precious little if you're chronically seriously ill. Are you one of those Trump-type people who opposes public healthcare because government involvement in healthcare is against 'liberty'?

I don;t think any of us want to be in permanent lockdown, and the rollout of the vaccine is a good start. Nor should people be harsh to those who seek or provide help to others in a desperate state, even if this seems not to accord with the 'rules' (in fact, the rules usually do allow for such situations!) But that's no reason for throwing everyone with any sort of vulnerability to the wolves in the name of holy Liberty!

@Authenticchicken

Sorry for your loss *@RichardMarxisinnocent*. I could not visit my bereaved mother at all during the first lockdown and it was very difficult. Some people definitely do not understand bereavement on this thread.

Thank you, and sorry for your and your mum's loss too. It must be so hard having to comfort someone from afar.

I think YABU but only in that you seem to think that Lucy is representative of all people in larger houses with big gardens. We know how bloody lucky we are right now, and that Lockdown is downright dangerous for others, some of whom you mentioned in your OP. Try to remember that Lucy is a bitch and not everyone is judging you. Sounds like you and Charlotte need each other right now and sometimes mental wellbeing has to come before physical wellbeing.

I'm single and I've been fine, keeping busy with work, DIY, my pet, online socializing and creative projects.

I keep distanced because it's the only right thing to do to end this, and don't need "government " to enforce it.

All of you superspreaders rationializing going out and about should be ashamed. Read a book ffs.

The lack of empathy is stunning. Just because you've been fine it doesn't mean everyone else is. And we are allowed to go out and about, we're allowed to take exercise, to have a picnic with someone, to visit shops which are open, to go to work if you can't work from home, to attend a funeral, to care for the vulnerable etc - there are quite a few permitted reasons for leaving home.

@Donotfeedthebears hihi. I've been here almost 20 years, and am on my 5 billionth username. So I should know better by now.

I have lots of sympathy for those in flats however you are breaking the rules and you shouldn't be

Couldn't agree with you more OP. Those posters bleating on about the rules even though the OP said her friend was struggling because of a bereavement should be ashamed. It's a disgrace that 'the rules' should come before basic humanity.

because the reason people were out and about us because they were traveling to their crappy minimum wage jobs

This is allowed, it's not against the rules

Life in chains is not a life

Overlydramatic and hyperbolic. Infection control measures are temporary

You don't have to get into someone's head to know when you've had it better than them.

I wholeheartedly disagree

@tangerinelollipop

because the reason people were out and about us because they were traveling to their crappy minimum wage jobs

This is allowed, it's not against the rules

That was her point. A whole area and its population being criticised for doing nothing wrong. It only looked worse than (insert posh white area) because that population couldn't stay home to work.

@IceCreamAndCandyfloss

Not sure what the size of house or garden has to do with it. The rules apply to everyone, regardless of where they live.

You really can't see how lockdown would be considerably more comfortable in a bigger house than in, say, a small flat? Or a bed sit?

Faux ignorance is rife on this site

I know someone like this OP but she'd never say it to anybody's face. Every. Single. Weekend she posts on FB about how she's "doing her bit" and "staying home". She posts about the covid levels in her town and how anybody stepping outside is irresponsible. She doesn't think children should be outside, and they shouldn't be in school etc. She has two kids, one at uni, one finishing A levels.

She lives in a decent sized house with a garden that's the size of 12 of my neighbours' - conservative guess. She hasn't had to home school, doesn't work and has spent lockdown making jam, baking and criticising anybody who steps outside. No health conditions behind this, just her being morally superior.

I've blocked her on FB at times because working from home and home-schooling two primary aged kids nearly broke me.

(We have no garden either!)

Yep, spoke about this on one of the other threads about people who are in privileged positions (and I know some who have even enjoyed lockdown)

People living in big houses with big gardens, comfortable financially with no worries and money to spend on all the extras to make lockdown life more enjoyable do have it a great deal easier and aren’t doing anything particularly special sticking to the rules.

I can totally see your point op. I've followed the rules but am able to realise I'm lucky enough to have a fair sized garden, be very near to nice nature walks and not had any extra drama or worries besides covid in the last 12 months. So I don't judge those who are finding it harder. People need to reach out sometimes.

I think you are unreasonable to be saying fuck you to anyone / everyone who lives in a big house and can work from home, yes. Just because someone is in that position doesn't necessarily mean that have no empathy or consideration for people who are not as fortunate as them .

Do I think you are unreasonable in having these thoughts towards your 'friend'? No, absolutely not and you would be perfectly in your rights to be calling her horrible names back, she is also selfish and thoughtless .

@InFiveMins

Couldn't agree with you more OP. Those posters bleating on about the rules even though the OP said her friend was struggling because of a bereavement should be ashamed. It's a disgrace that 'the rules' should come before basic humanity.

I agree with the OP that's it's easy for those of us with easier sets ups (including my family) to forget how much harder others have it. But if you say "basic humanity" trumps the rules then you might as well abolish them, because everyone's basic humanity IS breached by them - they don't work otherwise.