To not want to take OH speed awareness course?

[freeus]

Oh has been caught speeding, he's already done a speed awareness course 2 years ago.
he's complaining that the insurance is going to up now. I said I don't want to take the wrath for him it's not my problem!

AIBU?
Apparently I've got no loyalty to him and I'm not backing him up.

Not to mention it's illegal

I’d prolly answer him:

‘Lucky there’s one honest responsible adult in this household. That’ll be handy when you go to jail someday. Cos that’s where your attitude to all this is leading you, bucko.’

I’d likely add ‘now shut up before my last skerrick of respect for you trickles down the toilet.’

Don't do it, it's illegal.

In Scotland you get points and a fine if you've been caught speeding, there is no option to attend a speed awareness course. The resulting insurance hike is enough to make you slow down and be vigilant as to what the speed limit is wherever you are.

Do people really not have to declare attending a speed awareness course for car insurance purposes? That doesn't seem right given their calculations are based on risk and how much money they think they can fleece you for

He’s a fucking moron. With no basic reasoning skills.

I mean seriously, he was caught speeding, there’s a penalty, suck it up. WTF would he compound it by risking you both serving prison sentences? When the alternative is increased insurance costs and/or points in your licence and getting to sleep in your own home each night.

I mean prison isn’t exactly going to improve anyone’s finances is it, what with it meaning being out of work? He’s got no concept of risk assessment, it’s all “you solve my problem, I’ve given you my dumbass solution). Sorry, he’s being too thick to be the one suggesting solutions.

@LyndaSnellMBE

He sounds awful. I would be packing my husband’s bags if he even thought about asking me to risk a prison sentence for him

Yes. He does understand that this plan risks a prison sentence for both of you, yes? And that your children would have to be without you both? Or is he a complete moron? Either way, he doesn't sound like a keeper.

Rambling on again this morning..

Now his brothers telling me to just do it for him
And take one for the team

If his brother is that bothered, then he should 'take on for the team' and take your DHs points/do his course or go to prison for perverting the course of justice.

Stick to your guns OP. I would also reassess whether or not to continue a relationship with someone who has such little regard for you or others. Its only a matter of time before he murders someone while speeding.

Reasons not to do this below:

www.duncanlewis.co.uk/crime_news/Taking_Someone_Else%E2%80%99s_Penalty_Points_%E2%80%93_The_Consequences_(19_April_2018).html

www.theguardian.com/uk/2013/mar/11/chris-huhne-vicky-pryce

www.thesun.co.uk/motors/6588748/one-in-five-drivers-risking-jail-time-by-taking-penalty-points-for-other-motorists/

If his brother feels so strongly about it why doesn't he take the rap instead?

@freeus

Rambling on again this morning..

Now his brothers telling me to just do it for him
And take one for the team

What will happen if you continue to refuse?

Well he's going round to his mums now to drop her some shopping so let's see if his brother agrees to it. I doubt it!

Chris Hulme and Vicky Price both got 8-month sentences for doing this.

No loyalty? It's not exactly 'loyal' to try to coerce your partner into breaking the law. I'd say this was a far bigger problem than a mere speeding fine.

His whole family sound Godawful

Agree with both pp, why hasn’t his brother offered to do it for him? Where’s his loyalty? 🤷🏻‍♀️
Could it be that this nasty tendency to disregard the law and expect women to carry the burden for it that’s becoming apparent here runs in the family...?

Don't do it, OP. You could go to jail for this.

He sounds like a fuckwit for even asking you to consider this, let alone pressurising and guilt tripping you.

Ooh, just seen your update OP, maybe his mum will offer!

Read down the thread open-mouthed. Now he's got his brother in on the coercion act as well?

This site is known for its instant 'LTB' responses, rather than this being a last recourse after trying other options to solve a relationship problem. But I honestly think that if I were in this situation, it would be a deal-breaker.

So many reasons as to why this steps far over the line.

@DrFoxtrot

My XH wanted me to do this and it was one of the final nails in the coffin of our marriage. Don't put yourself at risk. Asking you to do this shows that he doesn't care at all that you could get into serious trouble.

Yes, same here. Don't do it OP.

My abusive exh pressured me to do the same. I refused. He still filled in the form and said it wasn't him driving. It went to court and then under oath the prosecutor said if he stuck to his story if accusing me he was setting me up for being charged with perverting the course of justice. So he backed down at that point. What a selfish and entitled prick my ex is and was....have a good think about your husband. This is not ok.

It's all your fault? Excuse me, it's all his fault. Entirely his fault. He is making the insurance go up. He was speeding, he got caught, he is responsible. Do not let him say its your fault. It is his.

Tell his brother to jog on.

Tell him to shut up or you will go to the police, he's currently attempting to pervert the course of justice.

He could also be commiting a few other crimes such as coercive control or giving the wrong information on the forms. Sorry I am not the expert.

Also as his brother knows about it other people probably will, can he be sure they will all keep quiet forever?

Blaming you as he may be penalised for being caught speeding;
Blaming you because the bills will go up because...HE got caught speeding.
Blames you for being disloyal because you refuse to break the law because HE broke the law and was caught speeding.

Does he often blame you for his mistakes?

Does he ever take responsibility and own his mistakes?

It doesn't sound like it. He's even got his brother piling on the pressure to get you to break the law. It should be a bit of a wake up call to be so close to 2 individuals who can't seem to see what is wrong with this and that are quite happy to make you the scapegoat for your OH wrongdoing.

Stick your ground OP, and don't even lie for him, or his brother should he be stupid enough to take the blame for this.

Yeah, this would be LTB territory for me. I'm not sure I could trust him to have my back going forward.

A guy I know did the - it wasn’t me someone else driving - got away with it three times over a period of a few years as when the letters came back he just filled them out in the different name and sent them back
But then he split up with his girlfriend and he had just done one so she told the police .
He was convicted last week
£800 fine
No points
Community rehabilitation order
Judge said he was lucky that we are still in lockdown with regards to Covid otherwise he would have got a prison sentence

Tell his brother to sod off.

Tbh if anyone does it for him they both risk a prison sentence.

Take one for the team?? How about he takes responsibility for his driving?

He needs to take responsibility for his shit and dangerous driving!
Bravo for standing up to him!!!!!!