To not want to take OH speed awareness course?

[freeus]

Oh has been caught speeding, he's already done a speed awareness course 2 years ago.
he's complaining that the insurance is going to up now. I said I don't want to take the wrath for him it's not my problem!

AIBU?
Apparently I've got no loyalty to him and I'm not backing him up.

Not to mention it's illegal

You mean she was speeding? There is no "just" in the sentence.

Actually, there is. You only get a speeding awareness course if you are "just" above the speed limit. Anything higher is points and a fine.

If he's currently got no points, 3 points shouldn't make his insurance go up by much, if anything. Definitely don't lie for him. Those courses are awful anyway - you really don't want to do one unnecessarily

He is an idiot. He needs to accept his wrongdoing.

People literally end up in jail for doing exactly this. As in you could end up in jail.

Good on you for not doing it for him.

NONE of this is your fault, his speed awareness course isn't your fault, the increased insurance costs aren't your fault - please remember this. ALL of this is his fault

@Parkerwhereareyou you’re a doormat 🤦🏻‍♀️. Their just men, there’s fucking loads of them to pick from too should the current one not work out. No ones irreplaceable.

I wouldn’t do it either @freeus, neither would I feel the least bit guilty about saying no. I also report crimes to the police, deviant that I am.

If the bills go up it is his fault not yours. He needs to take responsibility for his actions. Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time.

Can’t believe he is sulking because you are not prepared to commit a criminal offence.

I wouldn’t do this. I really don’t think DH would ask it of me though.

@RampantIvy

You mean she was speeding? There is no "just" in the sentence.

Actually, there is. You only get a speeding awareness course if you are "just" above the speed limit. Anything higher is points and a fine.

Exactly I was trying to point out my lead foot mother is not a boy racer the road she was recently caught on has lowered its speed limit she has been driving this road at forty mph for forty plus years its really not that well marked out she has really slowed down since her speed awareness course!

She thought she was going slower than the speed limit

I think your OH is a stupid prick. Emphasis on the stupid.

Fuck me, how do you cope that that?

You've got no loyalty???
You?
Yet he wants you to take a risk that could mean you end up in prison just so he doesn't have to pay more on his insurance?

Sounds like such a lovely, loyal, protective partner

This is entirely his fault. Entirely. Make it clear to him that this is the case.

If he doesn't want to pay more, then he needs to stop speeding, not risk you going to prison for him, the stupid arse.

@freeus

No I meant he's already done a speed awareness course so it's either he takes the points or begs me to do a speed awareness course. But I've refused and he's saying I'm not loyal and I'm going to make our bills go up.

It's all my fault!

This would infuriate me, on top of the speeding. How fucking dare he twist this back round on you. I’d make him pay the increased insurance too. There’d be no issue if HE wasn’t speeding. It’s all his fault.

Tell him your loyalties are towards your children and ask him who’s going to take care of them if you both get caught and end up In prison?

Stick to your guns freeus and every time he badgers you to do it just say no, not happening and change the subject.

These are your arguments for the next time he brings it up. And if he brings it up again, I would be booking couples therapy because this would be getting very close to LTB territory for me. In fact, if there were other issues, this might well be the straw that bike the camels back and become LTB territory.

1. It is not your fault the insurance will go up. It is his fault for being an arsehole and speeding.
2. What he is asking you to do is illegal and could result in a jail sentence for both of you.
3. What he is asking you to do is an example of coercion and could be domestic abuse which is a crime and could result in a jail sentence for him.
4. He was speeding. He clearly didn’t learn anything from the speed awareness course. He needs to do another one. FFS!

Hope he is still not going on about it. YADNBU. Stay strong and tell him he is an idiot for speeding not once but twice and he has to take the consequences of his actions. If the bills go up it is his fault.

Asking you to claim you were driving rather than him is illegal and they probably have camera evidence so could prove it.

I did a course, then got caught again. So 3 points. For doing 36/37mph. Clean for 25+ years apart from that. And those points now 'spent', 4 years later.

My current insurer wanted a lot more, so I shopped around and ended up paying less than I did before.

Cheeky man! If he did a speed awareness course only two years ago and has been caught again he must be reckless. I did one a while ago and the breaking distance part of it was seared into my brain. I wish that every driver could have one every year the examples are so telling.

Ah, right. That makes much more sense.
So, what you are in fact asking is whether you are being unreasonable in declining to lie about who was driving the car when it went over the speed limit. To which question the answer is, of course, “no”.

@Parkerwhereareyou it's time to put the home lobotomy kit down

@freeus

No I meant he's already done a speed awareness course so it's either he takes the points or begs me to do a speed awareness course. But I've refused and he's saying I'm not loyal and I'm going to make our bills go up.

It's all my fault!

He sounds like a prick of the highest order. I'd leave someone with so little conscience. Seriously OP, that would end any feelings I had for them in an instant.

Absolutely don't. It's very possible they have a photo, and it has dire consequences. Point that out to him - and that it's his responsibility to stop fucking speeding. And then refuse to discuss further.