To not want to take OH speed awareness course?

[freeus]

Oh has been caught speeding, he's already done a speed awareness course 2 years ago.
he's complaining that the insurance is going to up now. I said I don't want to take the wrath for him it's not my problem!

AIBU?
Apparently I've got no loyalty to him and I'm not backing him up.

Not to mention it's illegal

It is really dickish of him to ask you to agree to something like this. You as well as he would be breaking the law. And potentially end up in jail. This is a complete no brainer. And he needs to understand that he has to face the consequences of his actions.

I don't think you have worded it badly, it's perfectly clear. Not sure why so many people are misunderstanding. But you are not being unreasonable about this of course. I bet this isn't the only thing he is a selfish arsehole about either?

the premiums wont go up much if at all. Unless he continues driving like a prick that is.

@Seafog

Fuck that noise. He can deal with his own consequences

This in spades

I think you may have other problems in your marriage than this. But if this is the only thing, try pointing out that you risk going to prison if/when they catch you lying about this (and how will he like looking after the kids all on his own for weeks/months on end?) while he just gets some points on his license. If he hadn't actually been speeding, he'd not be getting in trouble for it - this is so very much not your fault!

@MoChridhe

I did the speed awareness course recently. We were told that it didn't need to be declared to insurance, only points must be declared.

That's exactly why he wants the OP to take the course!

Lots of people do what he's asking and don't get caught. If he's not about to lose his licence he should stop fussing (I still wouldn't advise you to do the course even if it meant he was about to lose his job) His insurance won't go up that much.

Pretty sure you cannot do it twice in 3 years so he won’t be doing it anyway if that’s still the case.

No I meant he's already done a speed awareness course so it's either he takes the points or begs me to do a speed awareness course. But I've refused and he's saying I'm not loyal and I'm going to make our bills go up.
But surely they would expect the person speeding to take the course?? I assumed so anyway. But in any case I would not offer up do it for him. HE has made the bills go up by driving like a dick.

YANBU.

You could go to jail.

He will continue to speed.

How will you feel if he kills or cripples someone?

Didn't some politicians go to jail for something similar???

Wow! Of course yanbu!

He sounds awful. I would be packing my husband’s bags if he even thought about asking me to risk a prison sentence for him

"the type of woman to go to the police if you see someone committing a crime"

I think that also tells you a lot about what he really thinks of women. Note, he didn't say person, he said woman.

This man needs a hell of a lot more respect and care for you - as a person, his partner, the mother of your children. He made a wrong step with speeding but IMO he's made a much bigger wrong step in how he's treating you over it.

Does he really think he'll get away with this? The police are not stupid, they do tend to double check when someone who would otherwise be looking at points conveniently tells them it wasn't him driving, it was his wife who just happens to have a clean licence.

The one time we genuinely couldn't remember who was driving (it was a long journey and we swapped), we asked for a photo and it was so clear. No option to doubt it at all! (It was dh )

Absolutely no chance, my husband wouldn't even ask me.

3 points wouldn't have that much of an impact on his premium. Unless he already has points and is looking at a ban?

Maybe he needs to stop speeding

Tell him his bills going up as he will have to pay them on his own when you leave.

These are not the actions of someone who loves you OP

@BertramLacey

I'd dump someone for this. The speeding is bad enough, but pressurising you into taking the blame for his actions would be a deal breaker for me.

seconded.

Didn't some politicians go to jail for something similar???

YES - Op do not lie for your OH look at this:

www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2019/jan/29/labour-mp-fiona-onasanya-jailed-for-lying-speeding-ticket

What a jerk! It's all his own fault for speeding. I wouldn't take the blame for him. Maybe if it costs him some money he'll take it seriously and stop speeding.

What about when he kills someone? Will he ask you to take the blame for that too?

If he's been clocked speeding then he's been clocked on camera.

So they have a photograph of the driver.

This is to prevent arseholes like your OH claiming they weren't driving, even though it was their car.

He sounds completely unable to take responsibility for his own mistakes