To be crying over the Caroline Flack programme?

[Franch2892]

I don't really cry at TV or movies usually but this really hit me.
I finished watching the programme feeling somewhat 'depressed'.
I felt it was very relatable.
I've had times of depression and horrible thoughts and seeing her mum and friends talk about her made me realise how loved most people don't even realise they are.

It just hit me after the documentary how quickly people can be taken away and how we just never see them again.

I don't know, it's just made me really really sad

I think it's a disgrace and insult to all men and women who have been killed or killed themselves as a result of domestic violence.

@FrippEnos

A program that is trying to make a saint out of a sinner.

Not very palatable at all.

Did you actually watch it? Nobody portrayed her to be a saint. Quite the opposite. Her family and friends were brutally honest about her and didn’t sugar coat anything. They made it very clear that she could be a difficult person and was deeply troubled.

@Songsofexperience

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temorary problem.

Clinical depression isn't a temporary problem though... and suicide isn't a solution.

It's obviously a horrendous solution, but it's a solution.

I think it is obvious the point PP was trying to make.

@Tinydinosaur

I think it's a disgrace and insult to all men and women who have been killed or killed themselves as a result of domestic violence.

In what way?

There are some disgusting comments here.

Caroline never denied assaulting her boyfriend. She did not deserve what she got.

The blood stains were hers.

Someone keeps buying all those newspapers and/or clicking on their websites.

@DynamoKev

Someone keeps buying all those newspapers and/or clicking on their websites.

And they believe every word which is even more worrying.

@Captnip500

I don’t know if you saw the programme, FrippEnos, but it really wasn’t like that at all. It was clear that she was a very vulnerable and troubled person, probably with an undiagnosed mental health condition. The incidents that happened with her ex boyfriend, while terrible, weren’t what the media made them out to be either.

I found it very sad myself and it highlighted that the media in this country is just brutal. The police also have a bit to answer for, I am
not sure what the purpose of charging her with assault when the victim was a dead against it and the perpetrator was clearly going through a mental health crisis themselves at the time was. Other then to make an example of her in the news.

Victims of domestic violence often don't want to report it, and I imagine a lot of abusive people probably have mental health issues too.

Police should charge people when they have committed assault.

It is never ok to talk about someone in the public eye who abused and acted violently towards others, without mentioning those actions.

I haven’t watched because it’s irritated me how many others have watched it and then talked about the sympathy they had for her without mentioning the sympathy that her ex boyfriend deserved.

Not that I don’t think she deserves some sympathy, she was clearly very troubled and unhappy and that does deserve sympathy. But troubled and unhappy abusive men wouldn’t get any sympathy from anyone, let alone this amount of it, so it just comes across as sexist and as having double standards when people sympathise with this abuser just because she was a female.

Nails: It is never ok to talk about someone in the public eye who abused and acted violently towards others, without mentioning those actions.

As I said above, this is not a glossy documentary sugar coating CF.
It is quite brutal and doesn’t portray her as a shining light. It is made very clear that she behaved very erratically at times.

@FrippEnos

A program that is trying to make a saint out of a sinner.

Not very palatable at all.

What do you mean by that?

The police also have a bit to answer for, I am not sure what the purpose of charging her with assault when the victim was a dead against it and the perpetrator was clearly going through a mental health crisis themselves at the time was.

This situation is exactly the same as in most DV cases. Except no one would ever question charging a man who was abusive to a woman. Anyone who mentally or physically abuses another should be charged, by the police, whether the victim wants it or not, at least for the sake of protecting others in future, and for the sake of justice.

That should say erratically and badly.

'I haven’t watched because it’s irritated me how many others have watched it and then talked about the sympathy they had for her without mentioning the sympathy that her ex boyfriend deserved'

Of course he deserves a bit of sympathy but surely when someone is so troubled that they then take their own lives then that is where the focus will be.

It's a shame she couldn't have been steered away from a life in the public eye really, the attention obviously added to her insecurities.

I found it really upsetting.

I think the press acted appallingly over the DV charges, if her and her boyfriends accounts were truthful she threw something in anger which accidentally hit him, the blood on the sheets were hers, she cut herself and had to have surgery for it. The way the press portrayed it was awful, at first I was very much of the thinking that she should be charged, in the same way as a man would be, all that blood must have meant she attacked him viciously.

So much came out after her death that it was clear it wasn't how they made it out to be, they have learnt no lessons over the years, in fact I think the press have got worse. I feel so so strongly about it.

I think the program was very well put together and was very blunt about her mental health issues, it is so important to broadcast programs like this, my eldest DS was just turning 14 when it happened and it was the first time he'd been really aware of suicide in that way and he was quite affected by the fact that someone who appears to have such a happy personality on the outside can be so troubled, it actually inspired him to do a big fundraising project for our local mental health charity because of it, obviously it coincided with lockdown a few weeks later and became even more prevalent.

@NailsNeedDoing

It is never ok to talk about someone in the public eye who abused and acted violently towards others, without mentioning those actions.

I haven’t watched because it’s irritated me how many others have watched it and then talked about the sympathy they had for her without mentioning the sympathy that her ex boyfriend deserved.

Not that I don’t think she deserves some sympathy, she was clearly very troubled and unhappy and that does deserve sympathy. But troubled and unhappy abusive men wouldn’t get any sympathy from anyone, let alone this amount of it, so it just comes across as sexist and as having double standards when people sympathise with this abuser just because she was a female.

Do you actually know what went on between her and the BF? Were you present in the relationship? The way the media made it out as though it happened every week. I’m not surprised she ended her life! It was probably the cherry on the top!

NailsNeedDoing and rootyt00tplease do watch all of the programme!

I was quite angry through most of it wondering why such a programme had been made about an abuser.

The truth came out towards the end and without a fanfare. There was a photo of a very small cut to her boyfriend's head. The descriptions and photos of a horrific bloody scene were Caroline's blood, not his. She had self harmed but she didn't want anybody to know. She was ashamed and embarrassed. She had a history of cutting, self harm and suicide attempts and didn't want anyone to know. After watching the programme until the end I changed my mind about her.

I was firmly of the opinion that it was distasteful to explain away the actions of an abuser and I was never a particular fan of hers. But I now feel differently. She probably had BPD and she had actively tried to cover it up for most of her life. In the end I felt great compassion for her.

Do you actually know what went on between her and the BF? Were you present in the relationship? The way the media made it out as though it happened every week. I’m not surprised she ended her life! It was probably the cherry on the top!

Clearly I wasn’t, but it’s the double standards from people other than those controlling the media that gets me. Would you ask that if it was a man who’d been abusive?

I’ve read enough on here to see that women who have been abused are always believed and supported and their abuser is verbally attacked. That’s fine, but it should work the same way for both the sexes.

100 percent agree with the comments about whether this was a man it would be different.
Firstly, her ex partners had also accused her of abuse.
If a man had committed an assault and the women didn't want to prosecute, would you still be criticising the police? That happens on a lot of DV cases they can't be seen to going more lightly because she's a female celebrity.
Would a man have a documentary and made out to be a national treasure?

Whilst I imagine Caroline did have lots of problems, it doesn't excuse her behaviour. The documentary is upsetting but I'm not really sure why it was aired.

It's exactly like the love for Jade Goody when she died, even though the thing she's most known for is being a racists to Shilpa on Big Brother.

The wrong doing is the people leaking pictures and the media circus. But ultimately that media is because of the consumer.

Just like the public were eagle eyed watching her downfall, they know invade her private life after and her death. Horrible.

So much came out after her death that it was clear it wasn't how they made it out to be, they have learnt no lessons over the years, in fact I think the press have got worse. I feel so so strongly about it.

THIS

People believe everything these scummy ‘journalists’ write. They don’t report the truth and this has been proved time and time again. Yet, people still believe what is written.

People are either thick or just love anything scandalous and don’t care whether it is accurate or not.

I don't know what went on in Caroline Flack's relationships, but I'm a bit uncomfortable with all the people claiming 'It was only a little cut' on her boyfriend's head.

Well okay, but that's still assault. Assaulting someone 'just a little bit' is still assault.

@NailsNeedDoing

Do you actually know what went on between her and the BF? Were you present in the relationship? The way the media made it out as though it happened every week. I’m not surprised she ended her life! It was probably the cherry on the top!

Clearly I wasn’t, but it’s the double standards from people other than those controlling the media that gets me. Would you ask that if it was a man who’d been abusive?

I’ve read enough on here to see that women who have been abused are always believed and supported and their abuser is verbally attacked. That’s fine, but it should work the same way for both the sexes.

Such complete and utter bullshit. If women were always believed about abuse and supported, we wouldn’t have three women per week killed at the hands of men. This is an unbelievably crass way to try and make a point.

I agree with you @NailsNeedDoing however I believe any charges/sentencing should be relevant to the incident and the press should not be involved and most definitely not leaking photos of bloody sheets suggesting the blood was his after her attack.

It may have been eventually decided in court that it was not a vicious attack and that they were just having a row that ended in him them both being injured, but the press had decided she was some awful violent thug and deserved to be thrown in prison. It may also have been proven otherwise, and quite rightly so if she did violently attack him, but she did not deserve how she was treated prior to this being decided.

Would a man have a documentary and made out to be a national treasure?

I have never watched a thing she has been on but watched the documentary and I honestly do not understand why you say she has been made out to be a national treasure.
Far from it.

It was very sad

I’m a believer when someone tells you they are depressed or anxious believe them. Too often we read on here that unless diagnosed they are probably not (utterly bizzare idea) or the word is over used

Would anyone two years ago have thought Caroline Flack suffered as she did i doubt it

We can all become unwell and it can quite easily spiral