To think that all men watch porn even when in a sexually gratifying relationship ?

[pedestalpony]

Possibly done to death but do they or at least the majority and if so are you ok with it ?
No real back story but have reason to believe that my bf does now and again ... mainly through presumption of women he follows on Facebook ... first six pictures etc.
I know he also games with many men and women throughout the world through that platform so he has many' friends' from that..
He doesn't like or comment on the women's posts but they show up now and again on the six profile pics of his friends on Facebook .
Am I being a prude/ presumptuous / overthinking .

I haven't read the thread I literally read the first post so had no idea what direction it took and honestly I watch gay porn ... So ...

... so women and men are abused and exploited in pornography. That's no big secret. No adult can plead complete ignorance to that and yet so many just don't seem to give a crap about it.

MissingLinker what about the many porn actresses who actually want to be in the job and enjoy their job? Don't you think there are thousands of them?

In the acting industry in general there is exploitation. Does that mean we should stop going to the cinema, stop watching films?

@MissingLinker

... so women and men are abused and exploited in pornography. That's no big secret. No adult can plead complete ignorance to that and yet so many just don't seem to give a crap about it.

What's your views on the platform I linked to earlier, of porn written and produced entirely by women? Where female actors are invited to take part and it's they show choose who they co star with, and what they do and don't feel comfortable doing...

www.bellesa.co/assets/files/bellesa-films.pdf

*they who, not show

Pretty much everything we humans do involves exploitation.

You will have worn clothes produced by slave labour. Some clothes also aren't.

Like porn.

@x2boys

People can laugh all they want but I have access to my DH ,phone TV ,tablet etc and I'm pretty sure he doesn't watch porn

Same here. The DCs use his laptop on his login and he'd be instantly dismissed if he used his work laptop. I have his phone login and borrow it. He's in his 60s and when he was a teenager it was top shelf mags, which he did look at and says he just thought were stupid (I'm younger but having seen them in my teens I agreed). Knowing him, his imagination is probably more "helpful" to him.

For everyone saying they have access to their DH’s phone/tablet/laptop so they’re sure he doesn’t watch porn... you know about private browsing right?

It doesn’t matter if you have access... you’d never have a clue if he was using private browsing.

@Quirrelsotherface

MissingLinker what about the many porn actresses who actually want to be in the job and enjoy their job? Don't you think there are thousands of them?

In the acting industry in general there is exploitation. Does that mean we should stop going to the cinema, stop watching films?

I'm sure there are plenty of people in the porn industry who don't mind their jobs. But I think that their right to work in their role is overridden by the rights of the people who are exploited to not have their abuse available on film to anyone who finds it arousing. With the majority of porn watched, there is no way of telling if what you're watching is someone being abused. Even if the majority of it is not, the right of vulnerable individuals to be protected should prevail.

I watch more porn than my other half and I’m female. And in a very happy relationship. It’s not just men that watch porn you know!

@Morgan12

Pretty much everything we humans do involves exploitation.

You will have worn clothes produced by slave labour. Some clothes also aren't.

Like porn.

When people become aware of clothing chains using slave labour or sweatshops, some refuse to buy from them. And when they become aware of practices in battery farming, for instance, some change their diets so that they don't support it. (Incidentally, people don't seem to have a problem believing that there are men who are vegans or don't buy fast fashion for ethical reasons, no matter how much they might like bacon or cheap clothes).

And many more don't. Not all are in a position to and I understand that. Ethically produced food and clothing is more expensive and isn't an option for many people. Not watching porn is an option for everybody because pornography consumption is an essential for precisely no one.

Virtually no one in this country can say that they have never participated in exploitation, even if it's done unknowingly. But plenty of people are in a position to reduce the exploitative practices they support. And Porn, being completely non essential, seems a pretty good place to start.

What's your views on the platform I linked to earlier, of porn written and produced entirely by women? Where female actors are invited to take part and it's they show choose who they co star with, and what they do and don't feel comfortable doing...

If you're going to make pornography it's likely the best way to do it. But I would still say that it's better to not have it at all. (Though the writer of that obviously disagrees if she's calling it an "impossible choice'")
The absolute best possible out of a platform like that is that it becomes the prominent type of pornography and that "petite teen virgin gets her ass destroyed" and it's I'll fades into the obsolete. And if they (and I mean the idea of female led pornography in general, not just this one platform) manage that then I'll say fair play to them.

But you and I, and likely they, know that that's INCREDIBLY unlikely. What's likely is that it'll remain in the fringes and dredged up on occasions to "prove" that pornography is a safe industry. Maybe I'm being overly pessimistic here but when you consider how much extreme and violent porn has become over the last few years... That doesn't exactly indicate to me a society of porn consumers who really want comparatively respectful, female led pornography.

I worked in a company with 95% men for 10 years, traveled a lot for work with them, lots of deep and meaningful convos over the years!

Of the men I knew I'd say 90% watched porn daily/weekly, the other 10% maybe a few times a year, and I met one person who genuinely didn't watch it. Every single guy basically watched porn. There was also plenty of lying to their spouse that they didn't.
Some of these men were lovely, absolutely sweethearts, dedicated to their wives and in other areas of their life very moral indeed. Porn is so bloody ubiquitous and accepted, they all consumed it.

Why does it actually matter?? If it's not impacting your sex life, why do you care? It's everyone's own business. And yes, women watch porn too! Even better, if men / women don't watch it, they fantasise...hardly something that anyone can control! Get over it...

What's likely is that it'll remain in the fringes and dredged up on occasions to "prove" that pornography is a safe industry. Maybe I'm being overly pessimistic here but when you consider how much extreme and violent porn has become over the last few years... That doesn't exactly indicate to me a society of porn consumers who really want comparatively respectful, female led pornography.

No, I agree - we're a long way from female led pornography taking over the industry; so it's a drop in the ocean, admittedly. Nonetheless, it makes me feel better that women are taking back control of the industry in some small way. And it's reassuring to know that not every platform is as morally corrupt as Pornhub, therefore some people who are viewing porn are likely to be doing so using these more ethical, female led platforms.

@MissingLinker

What's your views on the platform I linked to earlier, of porn written and produced entirely by women? Where female actors are invited to take part and it's they show choose who they co star with, and what they do and don't feel comfortable doing...

If you're going to make pornography it's likely the best way to do it. But I would still say that it's better to not have it at all. (Though the writer of that obviously disagrees if she's calling it an "impossible choice'")
The absolute best possible out of a platform like that is that it becomes the prominent type of pornography and that "petite teen virgin gets her ass destroyed" and it's I'll fades into the obsolete. And if they (and I mean the idea of female led pornography in general, not just this one platform) manage that then I'll say fair play to them.

But you and I, and likely they, know that that's INCREDIBLY unlikely. What's likely is that it'll remain in the fringes and dredged up on occasions to "prove" that pornography is a safe industry. Maybe I'm being overly pessimistic here but when you consider how much extreme and violent porn has become over the last few years... That doesn't exactly indicate to me a society of porn consumers who really want comparatively respectful, female led pornography.

I have been "destroyed".

There are several videos out there of me having sex in way most of you would appear to cringe at, on websites that you despise.

It was consensual, I enjoyed it, I still watch them sometimes, I was relatively well paid for nearly a year.

The belief on here that ALL porn is bad is rubbish.

I think the analogy to cheap clothes and furniture etc is a good one.

Nolne who buys this stuff can criticise porn (and that is most of the population)

The kids making that tat have far less control over if they do it or not than the vast majority of actresses in porn do.

The kids making that tat have far less control over if they do it or not than the vast majority of actresses in porn do.
I've talked about this earlier in the thread, but dh family member had her rape posted all over major porn sites, the recent pornhub wipe of stuff makes no difference as they allowed easy downloads for years so it's literally everywhere.

Porn can be something people can never control and never escape.

@Grenred

The kids making that tat have far less control over if they do it or not than the vast majority of actresses in porn do. I've talked about this earlier in the thread, but dh family member had her rape posted all over major porn sites, the recent pornhub wipe of stuff makes no difference as they allowed easy downloads for years so it's literally everywhere.

Porn can be something people can never control and never escape.

Hence the use of "vast majority"

Your example is extreme and in my experience very unusual.

All the videos of me whe I was in the industry and now that I have a channel with my husband (and our female fb) are consensual and wsre fun to make.

The same applies to everyone I know involved in the business.

Yes there are some horror stories. But to make out the whole industry prays on the weak and vulnerable and that nearly everything people watch is coercive is just a bit stupid and purely down to people who are a bit uptight being unable to get their heads around the fact that different people enjoy different things.

My example is depressingly not that extreme, we're involved in various help groups for people that have been affected by this and its sadly not that uncommon, especially prior to the changes made on these sites very recently.

What control do the vast majority have when they want the videos taken down then or want to move on Mia Khalifa has talked about the lack of control and lack of privacy that comes with this.

Your experience is going to be different in terms of finding victims of the industry highly unusual, as you work in it.

I think saying people can't talk about the abuses that do go on, the lack of policing on these sites despite them making millions, because other bad stuff is also happening in other industries is stupid.

@Grenred

My example is depressingly not that extreme, we're involved in various help groups for people that have been affected by this and its sadly not that uncommon, especially prior to the changes made on these sites very recently.

What control do the vast majority have when they want the videos taken down then or want to move on Mia Khalifa has talked about the lack of control and lack of privacy that comes with this.

Your experience is going to be different in terms of finding victims of the industry highly unusual, as you work in it.

I think saying people can't talk about the abuses that do go on, the lack of policing on these sites despite them making millions, because other bad stuff is also happening in other industries is stupid.

Your argument is a bit like saying none of us should ever go to weddings and enjoy a day out because in some instances one party isn't really up for getting married and is being pressured into it.

Why does it actually matter?? If it's not impacting your sex life, why do you care? It's everyone's own business.

Do you apply this "logic" to everything? I mean child sex abuse doesn't impact my sex life either but I don't say it's ok. Do you really have no sense of wider society and how your choices impact on that? This is profoundly depressing.

For everyone saying they have access to their DH’s phone/tablet/laptop so they’re sure he doesn’t watch porn... you know about private browsing right?
Unless he gets up in the middle of the night to do it? no, he doesn't.

Mine doesn't.

@drspouse

For everyone saying they have access to their DH’s phone/tablet/laptop so they’re sure he doesn’t watch porn... you know about private browsing right? Unless he gets up in the middle of the night to do it? no, he doesn't.

Yes and why would you even want to check your DPs phone? I honestly don't care if he has a secret lunchtime wank or whatever (I have no proof of this as I genuinely don't know lol) why do people check their OHs phones?