To think that all men watch porn even when in a sexually gratifying relationship ?

[pedestalpony]

Possibly done to death but do they or at least the majority and if so are you ok with it ?
No real back story but have reason to believe that my bf does now and again ... mainly through presumption of women he follows on Facebook ... first six pictures etc.
I know he also games with many men and women throughout the world through that platform so he has many' friends' from that..
He doesn't like or comment on the women's posts but they show up now and again on the six profile pics of his friends on Facebook .
Am I being a prude/ presumptuous / overthinking .

@LucieStar

I particularly like this line:

"Through shifting portrayals of women from objects of conquest to the subjects of their own pleasure, our mission with Bellesa Films is to continue inspiring women around the world to embrace, explore and celebrate their sexuality – unapologetically and on their own terms".

I do agree that this is a laudable aim.

@LampsOn

Ha! I love how some people don't think their DH watches porn. They do. And no, it's not a big deal.

this gets said on every thread about porn, and it really is so offensive. So unbelievably offensive.

To the women who think their partners don't, and to the men who say they don't.

And if you say - no my partner really doesn't, you just get told that they do it behind your back.
Again so fucking offensive. So the person you think you know, is actually a lying shit who goes behind your back.

Some people, men and women, object to porn on serious moral grounds. That is is destructive to and objectifies women.

It really isn't that hard to believe that there are people out there who don't watch it on principle.

So, no, I don't think all men watch porn, because some men actually do have some self esteem and self control.

Do I think a lot of men watch porn? yes, obviously a lot do. (maybe even most? Who knows?)
Do I think all men watch porn? No, I don't, and I don't believe they are secretly watching it and lying about it either, because that would mena they have had a personality switch.

@steppemum agreed! Maybe we should start laughing at the poor women who have never met a man with any moral code? (And just for the record, I don't laugh at anyone but I do feel sorry for those who can't even imagine that some men love sex without having to watch other people doing it, coerced or not. What a lack of imagination).

@steppemum perfectly put

I wonder of those with DH who don't are from a certain generation, generally. Porn was on a VHS, very vanilla in dhs youth so I can see why it didn't become a habit.
Once porn hit the internet however, it became too easy to access and I suspect every generation that came of age after fast access and more than one computer became a thing has greater uptake of porn as a habit.

@TheBuffster

I wonder of those with DH who don't are from a certain generation, generally. Porn was on a VHS, very vanilla in dhs youth so I can see why it didn't become a habit. Once porn hit the internet however, it became too easy to access and I suspect every generation that came of age after fast access and more than one computer became a thing has greater uptake of porn as a habit.

My partner’s mid- 40s and uses the internet a lot (as most of us do). And I wouldn’t put the house on him never having seen it (actually I would, because we are renting, but you see what I mean). I wouldn’t even put the house on him not watching it now I suppose - I know from experience how convincingly almost everyone can lie and cover their tracks in certain situations - but I definitely tend to believe him that he doesn’t. He’s very concerned about issues of consent, and quite right on generally.....

In fact, I asked him the other night, inspired by this thread, whether he watched it. I didn’t tell him why I was asking, as I didn’t want to cue him as to the “correct” response. In fact, it was in a general discussion about sex, so he could have even thought I was leading up to suggesting we watch some together. He said “Err, no, because it’s problematic isn’t it? We have spoken about this.”

I did then actually also remember him telling me some while ago about a semi-argument he had with another guy about it. These would be quite elaborate lies to make up....

I imagine it is the sort of thing he would really enjoy to be honest, if he didn’t have these ethical misgivings.....

Apparently ethical issues with porn are only for women. How sad that some women have never met men who place their ethics about their orgasm, or even believe that such men may exist. Says a lot about how bad things are.

@TheBuffster

I wonder of those with DH who don't are from a certain generation, generally. Porn was on a VHS, very vanilla in dhs youth so I can see why it didn't become a habit. Once porn hit the internet however, it became too easy to access and I suspect every generation that came of age after fast access and more than one computer became a thing has greater uptake of porn as a habit.

as my dh works with computers and is online all day, no, I don;t think it is generational in relation to the internet even though he is over 50.

Do I think it is generational in relation to the way we understand ethics?
Maybe. I do notice than there seems to be an idea that there are no absolutes in terms of right and wrong now.

Really agree with Lovelydiscusfish my dh is like that.

Yes he probably would like it, no he chooses not to, because it is an idealogical hot potato

I'm 99% sure the media my husband engages with when I am not there is of the star wars commentary nature. No way he'd waste an opportunity to geek out for the sake of porn.

@Deathgrip

Apparently ethical issues with porn are only for women. How sad that some women have never met men who place their ethics about their orgasm, or even believe that such men may exist. Says a lot about how bad things are.

Very sad indeed and very apt username.

Most men do and I do myself (although not as often as DH). Those men who say they don't are in reality probably terrified of their insecure / controlling partner.

@Quirrelsotherface

Most men do and I do myself (although not as often as DH). Those men who say they don't are in reality probably terrified of their insecure / controlling partner.

BINGO!

Those men who say they don't are in reality probably terrified of their insecure / controlling partner.

Yes that is clearly the only possible reason

I'm reasonably sure my DH doesn't. He has the normal quota of laptops, tablets, phones etc but only uses them downstairs. He never takes screens upstairs where he could be private in the loo or our bedroom. So he'd have to be watching it in the communal rooms downstairs and I've certainly never seen any sign of it or of him turning screens off while I walk by.

@TheBuffster

I'm 99% sure the media my husband engages with when I am not there is of the star wars commentary nature. No way he'd waste an opportunity to geek out for the sake of porn.

Keep him! He sounds awesome! And your post properly cheered me up. 😘

@Quirrelsotherface

Most men do and I do myself (although not as often as DH). Those men who say they don't are in reality probably terrified of their insecure / controlling partner.

Utter fucking bollocks. My partner and I have zero insecurity between us - to be honest we are quite freaky by many people’s standards, and would probably try and work out a way to open up our sex life to involve other consenting adults, if we could be sure their consent was total. And that we could navigate it safely and that they wouldn’t be upset afterwards. etc etc. Does that sound insecure or controlling to you?

We are concerned about issues of consent, is the issue. That’s why we don’t consume porn.

It’s funny how MN has a large number of NAMALTers, and yet so many women who can’t even conceive of a man who prioritises morals... 🤔

If all men do indeed consume porn then I guess “all men are like that”, eh?

@Quirrelsotherface

Most men do and I do myself (although not as often as DH). Those men who say they don't are in reality probably terrified of their insecure / controlling partner.

Honestly posts like this don't make me think "shit, my husband must be scared of/lying to me"

They make me think the posters wish their DHs didn't watch porn but need to keep on with the "it's ok because every other guy does" to make themselves feel better.

Mine doesn't. He did when younger, a lot, like most teens/early 20s men. But now he's a father to daughters he is very very passionate about women's rights and not at all comfortable with the porn industry.

Mine doesn't. He did when younger, a lot, like most teens/early 20s men. But now he's a father to daughters he is very very passionate about women's rights and not at all comfortable with the porn industry

Why does this remind me of the Little Britain sketch with the politician "I really don't agree with it, honest, but my hand just slipped onto the remote and, well, there was porn hub.."

@Quirrelsotherface

Mine doesn't. He did when younger, a lot, like most teens/early 20s men. But now he's a father to daughters he is very very passionate about women's rights and not at all comfortable with the porn industry

Why does this remind me of the Little Britain sketch with the politician "I really don't agree with it, honest, but my hand just slipped onto the remote and, well, there was porn hub.."

Because you're trying to make yourself feel better that your husband likes looking at other women naked.

@lovelydiscusfish he's a gem.
Every single time I'm out doing sports etc. I can guarantee Rogue One will be involved.

Because you're trying to make yourself feel better that your husband likes looking at other women naked

Oh c'mon, you don't think your husband enjoys looking at other naked women?! My husband does and he also loves my naked body, as do I actually

Dunno if husband does... But I do #notashamed

Because you're trying to make yourself feel better that your husband likes looking at other women naked.

@MrsWP Whether your partner watches porn or not, he would also enjoy looking at other women naked.

Being in a relationship doesn’t stop you finding other people attractive, you know. There’s nothing wrong with looking (in real life as well as porn) as long as you don’t act on it.

If you think you’re the only woman your partner finds attractive then you are, quite frankly, deluded.

@Lucylolly

Dunno if husband does... But I do #notashamed

Has anything, anything, that people have posted on this thread and numerous others about abuse and exploitation in the porn industry pricked your conscience?

Or is it just fuck 'em? Who cares if the women you're watching have been raped or trafficked? Who cares if you're using and supporting a platform which hosted and for years refused to take down videos of people's rapes?

So long as you're happy, eh?