To think that all men watch porn even when in a sexually gratifying relationship ?

[pedestalpony]

Possibly done to death but do they or at least the majority and if so are you ok with it ?
No real back story but have reason to believe that my bf does now and again ... mainly through presumption of women he follows on Facebook ... first six pictures etc.
I know he also games with many men and women throughout the world through that platform so he has many' friends' from that..
He doesn't like or comment on the women's posts but they show up now and again on the six profile pics of his friends on Facebook .
Am I being a prude/ presumptuous / overthinking .

For those saying porn is fine please educate yourselves. I don’t have any jealousy issue - I was a viewer myself and happy to watch with dh and encouraged him to view if I wasn’t feeling up for action that week! But please read about the amount of abuse going on. I didn’t realise myself and read until I did. I’m finding the ignorance on here awful and unbearable and am going to hide this thread now. If there is any doubt that what you view could be abuse - there should be no doubt that you don’t view it ! Please google porn and abuse or look at some of the links on this thread and learn.
Bye

Why does a man need to view porn if his partner ‘isn’t up to it’? Poor darlings, can they not manage for a week or several weeks without getting their rocks off? It’s pitiful.

@lovelydiscusfish
But it’s like Russian Roulette isn’t it? I wouldn’t feel comfortable saying, well, there’s only a one in ten chance that I am actually watching someone being raped here - I like those odds - let’s crack on.....

The thing that makes Russian roulette "exciting" is that you have a 1 in 6 chance of death. It becomes less exciting as you increase the denominator. A 1 in 6 million chance if death is just crossing a road. Point being, the odds do matter.
1 in 10 is high, sure. But I don't think anywhere close to 1 in 10 pornographic films are depicting a rape.

If I felt there was even a moderate chance the Amazon driver was being anally raped in the course of bringing me my parcel, I would definitely be introducing a hard boycott.......

There is a chance of anyone being anally raped in the course of their job. There's for sure a greater chance if it happening when your job involves knocking on the doors of strangers, rather than sitting at home. The key word is "moderate".
How regularly do you think anal rape is occurring in the porn industry and what is your limit?

Bearing in mind that rape is illegal and already grounds for criminal charges in most places. The girlsdoporn case involved "at least one" instance of rape. It was one of many criminal activities that led to multiple arrests, millions in damages and one of the producers being placed on the FBI's most wanted list.

If you want to avoid that, I imagine it's much easier for most porn studios to find a woman who doesn't mind doing anal on camera. Even in the girlsdoporn case, the majority of the complaints were about lies about the scope of release and payment rather than rape.

Incidentally (purely out of interest as we know not all porn is heterosexual), those who are vehemently opposed to porn on the grounds "you might be viewing a rape", would you strongly oppose lesbian porn in the same way? If there's only two women on screen, by definition there's no way either of them is being raped, right? Or would your viewpoint be; they might have been coerced into being on camera in the first place by a man, against both their wishes? If the latter, would you also say this about female directed lesbian porn?

Just curious as to people's views on this, as it seems to be largely missing from the discussion thus far, which seems heavily focused on the likelihood of viewing a rape in heterosexual porn.

This thread exemplifies what a porn addicted society we’ve become. The smug replies telling women they’re naive if they think their partners don’t watch it are so misplaced. Firstly you don’t know that as a fact and secondly women are allowed to not want their partner to engage in propping an industry that rapes and traffics women and girls. Why don’t you ask yourself why youre placing the sexual desires of men over the rights of women and your girls. And before we get into the women watch porn too. Women can be complicit in the abuse of other women. It means Jack shit.

@LucieStar

Incidentally (purely out of interest as we know not all porn is heterosexual), those who are vehemently opposed to porn on the grounds "you might be viewing a rape", would you strongly oppose lesbian porn in the same way? If there's only two women on screen, by definition there's no way either of them is being raped, right? Or would your viewpoint be; they might have been coerced into being on camera in the first place by a man, against both their wishes? If the latter, would you also say this about female directed lesbian porn?

Just curious as to people's views on this, as it seems to be largely missing from the discussion thus far, which seems heavily focused on the likelihood of viewing a rape in heterosexual porn.

This seems like a red herring. No one is regulating porn. Let’s say lesbian porn is ethical, it’s being viewed on the same platform as young girls and women being raped. Therefore even if the porn your watching isn’t harmful, you’re still supporting a harmful industry. Unless you’re paying for one of these ‘ethical services’. But those numbers are tiny in the grand scheme of things.

@GoLightlyontheEarth

Why does a man need to view porn if his partner ‘isn’t up to it’? Poor darlings, can they not manage for a week or several weeks without getting their rocks off? It’s pitiful.

This is what I’m thinking. Why are so many of the women on this site ‘male identified’.

Let’s say lesbian porn is ethical, it’s being viewed on the same platform as young girls and women being raped. Therefore even if the porn your watching isn’t harmful, you’re still supporting a harmful industry. Unless you’re paying for one of these ‘ethical services’.

I see your point. However there are other platforms that you can pay for (Bellesa House being just one) that is essentially porn written and produced by women. It doesn't negate the harmful aspects of the industry, clearly. But it means there is porn available that isn't abusive - it's just less well known than the larger more damaging sites like Pornhub.

What about women. Do all women?

It wouldn't bother me if my DH watched porn but I know that he doesn't. How? Because he's a technophobe who has no interest in technology. The only device he has is his work laptop which is constantly monitored due to his high security clearance. When I met him he didn't even have a TV. He still doesn't have a smart phone.

[quote DedlyMedally]@lovelydiscusfish
But it’s like Russian Roulette isn’t it? I wouldn’t feel comfortable saying, well, there’s only a one in ten chance that I am actually watching someone being raped here - I like those odds - let’s crack on.....

The thing that makes Russian roulette "exciting" is that you have a 1 in 6 chance of death. It becomes less exciting as you increase the denominator. A 1 in 6 million chance if death is just crossing a road. Point being, the odds do matter.
1 in 10 is high, sure. But I don't think anywhere close to 1 in 10 pornographic films are depicting a rape.

If I felt there was even a moderate chance the Amazon driver was being anally raped in the course of bringing me my parcel, I would definitely be introducing a hard boycott.......

There is a chance of anyone being anally raped in the course of their job. There's for sure a greater chance if it happening when your job involves knocking on the doors of strangers, rather than sitting at home. The key word is "moderate".
How regularly do you think anal rape is occurring in the porn industry and what is your limit?

Bearing in mind that rape is illegal and already grounds for criminal charges in most places. The girlsdoporn case involved "at least one" instance of rape. It was one of many criminal activities that led to multiple arrests, millions in damages and one of the producers being placed on the FBI's most wanted list.

If you want to avoid that, I imagine it's much easier for most porn studios to find a woman who doesn't mind doing anal on camera. Even in the girlsdoporn case, the majority of the complaints were about lies about the scope of release and payment rather than rape.[/quote]
Well obviously, technically anybody could be raped in the course of their job. But surely it goes without saying that this risk is significantly higher if your job involves sexual penetration. Than say, if it involves being a lawyer, or working behind a till in Tesco’s. Would anybody actually dispute this? Any form of sex work is going to give you a higher chance of being raped in the course of your work than other jobs, of course it is.

For those who do not believe there is coercion in the porn industry, could any evidence possibly persuade you that you were wrong? And if so, what? Again, sincerely meant question.

@Lovelydiscusfish

What are your thoughts on platforms that share porn written and produced exclusively by women, like Bellessa House, for example? Would you still find that potentially exploitative? If so, why?

www.bellesa.co/assets/files/bellesa-films.pdf

Don't worry this links only to a pdf explaining the premise behind this particular platform - nothing explicit in the link! I think it personally sounds more promising than the male dominated / oriented stuff?

There is a chance of anyone being anally raped in the course of their job. There's for sure a greater chance if it happening when your job involves knocking on the doors of strangers, rather than sitting at home. The key word is "moderate". How regularly do you think anal rape is occurring in the porn industry and what is your limit?

You absolutely must be on a wind up. You left logic behind long ago and now you’re being utterly ridiculous.

Every man I know openly admits to watching porn. It doesn't really phase me if they do or don't as long as it's not illegal.

Jkrowing92: This is what I’m thinking. Why are so many of the women on this site ‘male identified’.
.....
I thought the same. Plenty of decent man have other things to think about. I certainly wouldn't get involved with one who couldn't go without for a while.

I was 99% sure my Dh doesn’t watch porn but I asked him and he said he definitely doesn’t. He said he has no interest in watching what could be trafficked girls/women being raped.
Thankfully I married a good man, I couldn’t be with someone who didn’t care about the exploitation of females.
I am shocked reading this thread, naivety isn’t the word I’d use for all you porn supporters, it’s belligerent ignorance.
You are encouraging a world where violence against women is being normalised, honestly shame on you all.

So if my hubby and I make a porn video, we are seen as being bad people? Pathetic it's our choice and we are well in our rights. It's for our personal use and we use Only Fans to distribute it. Imo I don't see an issue. It is highly offensive if the bf in question is watching rape vids then question your relationship

[quote LucieStar]@Lovelydiscusfish

What are your thoughts on platforms that share porn written and produced exclusively by women, like Bellessa House, for example? Would you still find that potentially exploitative? If so, why? [/quote]
I agree this looks much better than my general impression of the industry. I suppose I would just be worried if it is really as safe as it sounds, and how can one know? That’s all.

@MummyHall

So if my hubby and I make a porn video, we are seen as being bad people? Pathetic it's our choice and we are well in our rights. It's for our personal use and we use Only Fans to distribute it. Imo I don't see an issue. It is highly offensive if the bf in question is watching rape vids then question your relationship

I don’t think anyone is saying you are bad people for being in porn - more that others in your position (you say this is not the case with you, and I believe you of course) might be victims of coercion/exploitation?

@Lovelydiscusfish

Yes I suppose so.

I was quite impressed with how it reads though, in terms of putting female actors in the driving seat - they get to choose who they co star with, what they do, etc. It's even based on an understanding of female fantasy, since all scenes are written by women. It sits more comfortably with me than any of the male directed stuff anyway.

I particularly like this line:

"Through shifting portrayals of women from objects of conquest to the subjects of their own pleasure, our mission with Bellesa Films is to continue inspiring women around the world to embrace, explore and celebrate their sexuality – unapologetically and on their own terms".

@MummyHall

So if my hubby and I make a porn video, we are seen as being bad people? Pathetic it's our choice and we are well in our rights. It's for our personal use and we use Only Fans to distribute it. Imo I don't see an issue. It is highly offensive if the bf in question is watching rape vids then question your relationship

There are two separate issues here: 1) How does anyone know which videos represent couples where both are enthusiastically consenting vs ones where (usually) the woman is being coerced? How do we know she knows she is even being filled or that she’s aware it will be uploaded to the internet? There is plenty of content that plays on the idea of women being filmed without their knowledge - how does one know which is set up to look that way is which is actually that way? Even content that contains statements from women can’t be taken as read, since if you look at the GDP case there’s testimony from women who were literally barricaded into hotel rooms until they’d completed shooting.

2. I wouldn’t necessarily think you’re bad people, but I wouldn’t want to in any way profit from an industry that I find so concerning morally, in terms of treatment of women, effect on individuals and effect on wider society. You’re free to make a different choice. I’m free to have a judgement about it.

Even in the girlsdoporn case, the majority of the complaints were about lies about the scope of release and payment rather than rape.

How did I miss this?

Here’s the problem - your definition of rape is way way off. Those women went to those shoots expecting nude photo shoots. Eventually they were told they would be filmed having sex, and were mollified by being told it wouldn’t be uploaded to the internet.

You think that’s consent?

Yabu, as are all those on here 'laughing at those that think their DHs don't'.
I guess you know my partner better than me then? Or are all men one homogenous entity?