To think this is a snobby view?

[MiaMarshmallows]

Friend has been married for 35 years and never divorced.
She said the other day ' I find it so depressing when I see photos of a couple with their children and then less than a year later, said couple have split and there's a new woman/man in place acting like a new family all being photographed together. '

Just got my back up a bit.

Why would that be snobby?

What’s snobby about being sad that so many marriages don’t last?

It is depressing that many marriages don't last, and it also depressing when adults put their own needs above those of their kids and rush into new blended family arrangements before catching their breath.

It isn't snobby, but I suppose if your neighbour is a romantic, she might find it depressing

Eh? Surely this is just a statement saying that it's sad that so many stay together?
It is sad

I think the depressing bit is the shoehorning of a new stepparent into a family so quickly. It can’t be good for the children.

@MiaMarshmallows

Not remotely snobby.

Some may think it's a tad condescending, but it's not unusual for someone who is middle aged or older (who is still with her first husband/the father of her children after 30+ years together,) to feel sad that people don't stay together much anymore.

I think it's sad too. But then again, better to split up than stay in a shit relationship. I know a few couples) like me and my DH, who have been together 30+ years, and for the most part, it's been a good relationship and marriage. But also, some people stay in a miserable or dead marriage until one of them dies. Because it's just easier to stay than it is to leave.

I agree with your friend. It is sad that many children have to spend time ferried between two houses, incorporating new men (and their DC) into their family - often more than once. That is sad.

Why’s that snobby? It is a bit depressing.

What does ‘snobby’ mean to you?

Why is this snobbery? I happen to agree with her and my opinion has nothing to do with being a snob.

@MsRinky

It is depressing that many marriages don't last, and it also depressing when adults put their own needs above those of their kids and rush into new blended family arrangements before catching their breath.

This ^^ in spades

How does snobbery come into it?

I'm divorced but I agree with her. Sometimes it's as though the other partner never existed.

I agree with her. And there are loads of new partner/blended family set ups described on here that absolutely sound depressing for everyone involved.

I agree with her. It’s incredibly sad for the children to have another adult playing stepmum/stepdad so quickly when the chances are they’re just a boyfriend or girlfriend passing through.

I agree with her too. It is sad that so many marriages break down and it is sad when new partners are brought into family life too soon. I fail to see how it is snobby as it happens at all levels of society.

Not snobby. More concerned that some relationships move a bit fast for the children involved.

Not sure what's snobby about saying that?

I agree with her. The speed at which new step parents are blended in is really sad sometimes. Awful for the kids.

It’s not snobby, and it is concerning how quickly new partners are brought in to family life. Hardly any time at all for the children to adjust to the transition of a parent moving out before a stranger is moved in.

It is depressing. How would the breakdown of a marriage when kids are involved not be sad? Not snobby.

Agree with her. It is sad for the children. I’m a step mum and as much as I love DSD and couldn’t imagine life without her, her childhood would be a lot happier and more carefree if her time wasn’t split in a half between 2 households. She used to sob her heart out regularly about missing her mummy when at ours, and missing her daddy when at her mums. In our situation DHs ex wife (dsds mum) left him when she was 2 for another man. I didn’t come into her life until she was 6. She can’t remember life with her parents together but she was still very unhappy about the situation.

Just in the way that she has been lucky enough to have a marriage which has lasted but not everyone is as fortunate. Also, blended families can be very happy and children can benefit from it in terms of more love to go around.
I just didn't like her tone. Everyone's circumstance is different and if love is found again, even if it is deemed too soon then why not just be happy for people.

@MiaMarshmallows

Just in the way that she has been lucky enough to have a marriage which has lasted but not everyone is as fortunate. Also, blended families can be very happy and children can benefit from it in terms of more love to go around. I just didn't like her tone. Everyone's circumstance is different and if love is found again, even if it is deemed too soon then why not just be happy for people.

Because the 'people' includes the most important ones of all in the situation, which are the children.

Honestly, the amount of times I hear parents and their new partners claiming the child is amazingly happy with the brand new set up, only a few months after their parents have split makes me sick.

Even the child has no idea how happy they really are because it's been such a whirlwind and upheaval in their life.

Most people I know who can't stand their step-parents said they didn't mind them at first, so the kid being amazingly happy so quickly means nothing.

It's often something the parents are trying to convince themselves of.

I think that OP is referencing the secondary meaning of snob “a person who believes that their tastes in a particular area are superior to those of other people.”
If she said it in that way (i.e. look at how well I’ve done, staying married and all) then yes, she’s being a snob, BUT - she didn’t: she said it makes her depressed, not that she feels that others are somehow inferior by choosing to split up!