My new neighbour is a convicted murderer

[murdernextdoor]

Have recently found out from another neighbour further up the street that my new next door neighbour has spent 4 years in prison for man slaughter of another man. I was sceptical so I googled his name. I saw all the newspaper articles about him. He had a fight and killed another man.
Don't know the reasons for the fight but I can't help but wonder if it was one of those cases of a one punch kill. Or maybe he stamped his head?

I am horrified that this man lives next to me. I now don't want my children to mix with his children anymore. I know some will say he's done his time, but imagine if it was your son he killed? It makes me sick to my stomach.

Should someone have notified us in some way about him moving there? Or maybe not as he's done his time and isn't a sex offender.

AIBU or would you be horrified as well? AIBU to tell my children to stay away from the house altogether. (I know it's covid now but I'm thinking in the future)

@murdernextdoor would you have the same view if you lived near a drunk driver who killed someone?

My step dad has served time for attempted murder. Nicest guy I know. Don't make assumptions, get to know him. We all make mistakes.

Sell your house and move then OP. Leave this guy in peace

YABU

You say the kids are in their mothers care and it's her house but his probation officer will know that's where he's living, he won't just have been let out of prison and not have to report to probation ever again.

He will be on a life licence.

Of course you are not being unreasonable, and whatever the circumstances 4 years is not much time to serve for a loss of life

His kids have nothing to do with what he did. If the children are playing out in the street they don't even have to come into contact with him. I wouldn't let my kids play inside the house of someone I didnt know whether I knew their criminal history or not.

His children are innocent. Whatever your thoughts are about him, please don’t treat them differently to other children.

Big difference between manslaughter and murder OP. Give him a chance. Everyone deserves a second chance.

And that sweet neighbour 3 doors down could be looking at child porn but you would never know it!

So take a breath and just let your children play with his children outside and thats it

I'm surprised his name came up when you googled it, I thought there were protections under the rehabilitation of offenders?

If he wants to change his name he can do as long as he informs probation or other teams he may be working with. Not everyone wants to remain anonymous

Admittedly I might not invite him round for tea and cake, but he's done his time.

Just move then!

YABU

It's one thing listening to the gossiping neighbour but quite another to bring this guy's innocent children into it.

OP: AIBU?

Not an insignificant number of posters: yes

OP: shut up, I’m not, I don’t believe you

If you just want people to agree with you, this is probably the wrong forum. What do you want, to form a lynch mob?

Shunning his children would be a repugnant thing to do.

Yes. That would be an awful thing to do to innocent kids.

@Flaunch

I listened to a radio interview with a late teenage male who had killed someone by punching them once in the head while drunk. It was heart wrenching. He made a mistake, a hideous mistake that he greatly regretted. He served his sentence and while in prison publicised what had happened in the hope that it wouldn’t happen to anyone else, left prison and went to university and now works to try and stop mindless violence.

Awful things happen and very few people are beyond forgiveness.

I remember that programme, I started off being very doubtful, but by the end appreciated how hard he had worked to prove that he understood and deeply regretted the awful thing he had done. I think I am right in saying he was in contact with the dead persons family and they had accepted his remorse .

I’d be alarmed too but would try to tell myself that a man who was convicted after the manslaughter of another adult male was probably statistically very unlikely to be a danger to my children. That’s a very specific crime.

That’s easy for me to say of course and only you know whether you can deal with it long term.

If I couldn’t, I would probably move.

I wouldn't be very happy about this OP. I'm not sure there is much you can do about it though. Try to avoid them and encourage your kids to make friends with other kids and don't ever leave them alone with him is all I can suggest really.

[quote RoseRedRoseBlue]@murdernextdoor would you have the same view if you lived near a drunk driver who killed someone?[/quote]
My old next door neighbour killed someone through driving recklessly. He was driving way too fast through the town and knocked over a young girl. A teenager. He went to prison. He was a nice bloke actually. Wife, couple of kids. Really friendly family. I was always friendly and nice to him but every time I saw him it was all i could think about. Couldn't help it. He's moved now. My work colleague also killed a man last month. She was driving to work and he just stepped into the road. I was worried about seeing her again but because I knew her prior to the accident, once I saw her I didn't even think about it. She was still the nice friendly lady I'd always known. I think the difference was that I already knew her whereas I didn't know my neighbour prior to his incident. And also he was driving dangerously, my work colleague wasn't. I think the circumstances make all the difference.

Does the rest of the street know? If this happened near me they'd be ran out of town

@Number3BigCupOfTea

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

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MY POST DIDN'T BREAK YOUR OWN GUIDELINES

What a ridiculous deletion. You should read your own guidelines.

@MegaScared I agree, circs are key. The thing is, OP has made her mind up that this person is a ‘murderer’ despite allegedly knowing the circs.