To not understand all the Mothers Day complaining

[Crankley]

I'm childless and do not understand this view nowadays that DH/DPs are expected to buy gifts and pander to their other halves on Mothers Day. The women aren't their mothers.

The day originated from Mothering Sunday when all the girls in service were given a day's holiday to go and spend the day with their mothers. There's no record of the mothers being pissed off because their husbands didn't buy them something.

As a child in the 40s and 50s I don't recall my DF buying my DM anything - his focus was on his own mother and when we were old enough we would make a card and buy some flowers for DM, make her breakfast in bed etc.

When did it all change?

I only get a card. My birthday falls too close to Mother's Day and I think it's all a nonsense anyway. I think it's all a bit needy to be honest.

DH doesn't get more than a card on Father's Day, either.

Admittedly I give my mum a card and present but that's because I like doing it and I am an only child so if I didn't do it nobody would. However, I've never done the giving the grandmother a Mother's Day card thing, which she did. I used to have to write cards for my grandmothers, but I've never got ds to do it for my mum or MIL.

*"I only get a card. My birthday falls too close to Mother's Day and I think it's all a nonsense anyway. I think it's all a bit needy to be honest.

DH doesn't get more than a card on Father's Day, either.
Admittedly I give my mum a card and present but that's because I like doing it and I am an only child so if I didn't do it nobody would."*

But you wouldnt class your dm as 'needy?' If you dont agree with it and are happy for just a card and no gift i don't understand why you give your dm a present 'because nobody else would' yet nobody gets you one and that's okay? Seems strange to me that.

@poppycat10

I only get a card. My birthday falls too close to Mother's Day and I think it's all a nonsense anyway. I think it's all a bit needy to be honest.

DH doesn't get more than a card on Father's Day, either.

Admittedly I give my mum a card and present but that's because I like doing it and I am an only child so if I didn't do it nobody would. However, I've never done the giving the grandmother a Mother's Day card thing, which she did. I used to have to write cards for my grandmothers, but I've never got ds to do it for my mum or MIL.

This is all quite contradictory . It's needy if you expect a mothers day card but you enjoy getting one for your mum and are concerned about her getting nothing.

I've never understood the MN view that expecting even the minimum amount of fuss makes you needy.

*present not card

I've never understood the MN view that expecting even the minimum amount of fuss makes you needy.

This is MN though where competitive joylessness is practically an Olympic sport. No one over the age of 12 should expect any acknowledgement of their birthday, a child's packed lunch should consist of a matchbox sized piece of drywall and a dribble of lentil water to wash it down with, half a twig and a satsuma is more than enough for Christmas, and anyone who refers to the big red guy as Santa or partakes in any sort of Halloweening should fuck right off.

oh for goodness sake, stop judging people when you’ve not walked even 10 steps in their shoes

That would be great .....if it wasn't for the fact that women who, for whatever reason, are still seen as fair game to be judged and criticised on here.

@FoxyTheFox

I've never understood the MN view that expecting even the minimum amount of fuss makes you needy.

This is MN though where competitive joylessness is practically an Olympic sport. No one over the age of 12 should expect any acknowledgement of their birthday, a child's packed lunch should consist of a matchbox sized piece of drywall and a dribble of lentil water to wash it down with, half a twig and a satsuma is more than enough for Christmas, and anyone who refers to the big red guy as Santa or partakes in any sort of Halloweening should fuck right off.

😂

*Who for whatever reason don't have children

This is MN though where competitive joylessness is practically an Olympic sport. No one over the age of 12 should expect any acknowledgement of their birthday, a child's packed lunch should consist of a matchbox sized piece of drywall and a dribble of lentil water to wash it down with, half a twig and a satsuma is more than enough for Christmas, and anyone who refers to the big red guy as Santa or partakes in any sort of Halloweening should fuck right off

Hahah

It probably changed when card companies and retailers realised that by exploiting peoples feelings they could make more money.
I don't remember it being a thing when I was young
This.
When I was a child mothers day was a card to you mum, maybe box of chocolate and we'd make breakfast with help from Dad. It was low key. Some people still take this approach now.

On the other hand it seems that some people have bought into the yet another gift giving day which is promoted by companies who want people to spend more money and yet another excuse to push consumption.
I've had endless emails from companies pushing all sorts because 'it's mother's day', and in a few weeks it will be 'buy our stuff because it's Easter, show you care buy buying stuff... bank holiday offers so buy more, Father's day so buy stuff. Flash sale because Jupiter is aligning with the moon on the 34th day of the month".

The idea that buying stuff equals showing you care runs through lots of our society.

@FoxyTheFox

I've never understood the MN view that expecting even the minimum amount of fuss makes you needy.

This is MN though where competitive joylessness is practically an Olympic sport. No one over the age of 12 should expect any acknowledgement of their birthday, a child's packed lunch should consist of a matchbox sized piece of drywall and a dribble of lentil water to wash it down with, half a twig and a satsuma is more than enough for Christmas, and anyone who refers to the big red guy as Santa or partakes in any sort of Halloweening should fuck right off.

@Popcornbetty maybe so - but my family has a habit of appreciating each other anyway. My dad used to come home with random presents for my mum. As a working adult I now do the same.
In such an environment there’s no need for a single day of fuss.

@ Wearywithteens
Totally!! That’s all I wanted. Just to feel appreciated and that I matter other than being a laundrette, cook, cleaner, nanny and dog walker.

It’s not about presents, it’s about feeling appreciated and loved.

Didn’t make tea tonight! I do all housework and cooking, everything. I didn’t tonight. So he made an extra healthy meal via the chippy. Awesome.

Mothering Sunday is a Christian concept that involves going to Church.
It was hijacked by a greeting's card company and has thus evolved into a modern day spendalot.
Every year I urge my adult children to ignore, but my children feel guilty and feel the need to buy extraordinarily priced blooms and stuff that I really don't need! Yes my gifts were lovely but I really didn't need them.
My children cooked a superb roast dinner and we sat around the table together and had a lovely time. Cards were nice but I'll bin them. I can't keep all the cards from my children anymore, I've already got nearly thirty years worth of them.
A cheery 'hello mum' is all I need But I'd expect that anyway, not just for a Christian celebration that I don't believe in.