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Original poster

To think that most men do respect women

999 replies

katieloves · 13/03/2021 08:36

I’m concerned about the vilification of men that we’re hearing a lot about. I know there’s some men who disrespect women and this absolutely needs to stop, but equally I’ve witnessed women being equally disrespectful to men. I’ve seen plenty of women feeling up men etc. on a night out and it being laughed off. If this was reversed it would be considered assault. It feels like all men are being accused of treating women badly and I just don’t see it.

OP posts:
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6
Pumperthepumper · 14/03/2021 08:09

@Whenthesunshines

Why ‘good’?

Did you read my post? You quoted it.

When certain social media groups take an interest they can quickly hijack as we saw yesterday. Their organisers shepherding their followers like sheep.
I’ve just looked at the front covers of today’s papers. The editions I have seen have ignored the police clashes with these groups. Good.

Their behaviour yesterday was typical of their agenda driven nonsense. They politicised what was meant to be a peaceful vigil with their banners and slogans and drums.

I’m sure that if you open today’s papers their antics are there for all to see but I’m glad they didn’t make front page news.

I don’t understand what you mean. Which certain social media groups? Why is it good to ignore how heavy handed the police were?
LakieLady · 14/03/2021 08:12

Women who think that most men treat women with respect and dignity are part of the problem imo.

It's like some form of Stockholm syndrome.

SmileEachDay · 14/03/2021 08:13

Like this? Honestly What I don’t know who you mean. I’m seeing Reclaim the night, lots of anger from women about safety?

Stop being coy - who is supposed to have hijacked this vigil?

To think that most men do respect women
Whenthesunshines · 14/03/2021 08:13

TooTrueToBeGood
Morning!
I’m sorry your ego is bruised.
If calling me a ‘fuckwit’ makes you feel better be my guest!

SmileEachDay · 14/03/2021 08:26
Whenthesunshines · 14/03/2021 08:28

TooTrueToBeGood
Just to add...

I commented on the article. You commented on me. You're the one that made it personal and now you're getting all high and mighty because I got personal back.

You didn’t ‘comment on the article’ You commented on the friend. The author of the article. Their view is ‘fucked up’
I have explained why I disagree.

To minimise that as being "extremely unlucky" is beyond fucked up. With friends like that, who needs enemies?

merrygoround88 · 14/03/2021 08:29

I think most men don’t want women to have a voice that is equal to theirs.

Hope this is changing

SmileEachDay · 14/03/2021 08:30

When

Good, you’re back.

Who do you mean hijacked the vigil? I’m completing at a loss?

Invisiblewoman1 · 14/03/2021 08:30

....

To think that most men do respect women
EvilPea · 14/03/2021 08:33

Conversation with DH last night.
Him: I think most ment are good, it’s just 1%
Me: no I don’t agree.
Him: no?
Me: in a room full of 10 young women from different demographics and geography I know, 9 had serious incidents (that would have resulted in jail for the abuser) . 1 had not.

I darent tell him I unfortunately know 2 of his friends are not good people.

TheJerkStore · 14/03/2021 08:34

Even if we put the rape, sexual harassment and murder to one side and just look at the every day behaviour of men towards women you can see patterns of behaviour which display a lack of respect towards women. It's not always intentional or malicious but it's there. For example:

A male acquaintance will always ask me who is looking after the kids if he sees me out on my own. He never asks DH the same question.

The other day a male neighbour was trying to diffuse an argument on WhatsApp and added the message - WhatsApp should just be for sharing dirty pics and porn with your mates. He's married with kids and his wife is in the group.

Last week a male student of mine refused to believe the information I was giving him. The information was factual and based on years of professional experience- after the lecture he contacted my male colleague and asked the exact same questions.

Men tend to assume my older male colleague is more senior than me.

A male student once sent me hundreds of emails and became quite threatening when I asked him to stop. He got offended when I explained that I'd be asking someone to sit in our meetings so put in a formal complaint about me. At the meeting to discuss the issues he claimed it was my fault for being too nice.

My male line manager assumed I didn't want to undertake international travel because I have kids so asked a male colleague ( who also has kids)

Nobody bats an eyelid when they find out DH has a PhD but I regularly get expressions of surprise from men when they find out I have one and work as an academic- I've heard the phrase ' you don't look like an academic' too many times.

When I called out a male friend on Facebook for sharing a sexist joke on IWD he told me to calm down, it was just banter and hinted I was in my period

I'm a member of a female dominated running group on Facebook. Men are allowed to join but barely a day goes by without a man posting a dick pic, coming on to female members of the group or just insulting members for being slow or fat.

These are just a few examples.....

Whenthesunshines · 14/03/2021 08:35

Smile
Sorry, I keep dipping in and out of different threads.
Predominantly, ‘Sisters Uncut’ hijacked this event for their TRA agenda.
Give me a minute and I’ll link to the thread where it is being discussed.

SmileEachDay · 14/03/2021 08:35

Thank you, When

Whenthesunshines · 14/03/2021 08:38

TheJerkStore

You are not wrong.

I think that the backlash occurs when all men are considered capable of murder, rape etc because of the above.

RootyT00t · 14/03/2021 08:38

@SmileEachDay

Or are we now in an age where a certain type of person will manipulate this event to shoehorn their own views?

Who do you mean and what “views” do you think are being shoehorned in?

Well, Within 24, hours of her death there was a thread on how people can possibly resonate with this but also believe transwomen are women.

What I mean is, Sarah is not the first murdered women. It's rare, in the grand scheme of things, for someone to be murdered on the streets, that's why there's such an outcry.

We are far more likely to be assaulted, abused or killed in our own homes by someone we know , but we don't talk about that.

In the list of women in the protests, we have included Jill Dando and Holly and Jessica, who while appalling are nothing like what happened to Sarah.

Why?

Pumperthepumper · 14/03/2021 08:40

@RootyT00t I answered this further up the thread, did you read it?

RootyT00t · 14/03/2021 08:41

@Pumperthepumper I think there's manipulation, but it was a genuine question.m unlike your final sentence

I don't disagree with any of it, but it doesn't answer my question.

Why has the death of a woman in London made you feel less safe? These are incredibly rare events , as we know. Why are we now 'sick' of cat calling or having to change route. Were we not sick of that last week?

Re: your comparison to George Floyd, I had the same question then. Brionnas name was used repeatedly but before then had never been mentioned.

My post above also has similar questions to you .

RootyT00t · 14/03/2021 08:41

[quote Pumperthepumper]@RootyT00t I answered this further up the thread, did you read it?[/quote]
I'm catching up, but either way, that post wasn't to you.

Pumperthepumper · 14/03/2021 08:42

We are far more likely to be assaulted, abused or killed in our own homes by someone we know , but we don't talk about that.

Of course ‘we’ talk about that. ‘We’ve’ been talking for years, years and years and years about women’s safety in the home, women’s refuges, safe spaces, Believe Women.

It means absolutely nothing if we can’t talk about the root cause - which is our old friend Male Violence.

Pumperthepumper · 14/03/2021 08:44

[quote RootyT00t]@Pumperthepumper I think there's manipulation, but it was a genuine question.m unlike your final sentence

I don't disagree with any of it, but it doesn't answer my question.

Why has the death of a woman in London made you feel less safe? These are incredibly rare events , as we know. Why are we now 'sick' of cat calling or having to change route. Were we not sick of that last week?

Re: your comparison to George Floyd, I had the same question then. Brionnas name was used repeatedly but before then had never been mentioned.

My post above also has similar questions to you .[/quote]
I answered all of this. It’s because there are certain parts of each story that resonate - Sarah did everything I would have done to keep herself safe. It didn’t work.

So if I can’t keep myself safe, how do I run? How do I live my life?

Answer: I can’t, unless men, ALL MEN, All Men, start looking at male violence and what they can do to stop it.

Pumperthepumper · 14/03/2021 08:45

Also @RootyT00t manipulation to what end? What is this manipulation? What’s the agenda?

TheJerkStore · 14/03/2021 08:46

I think that the backlash occurs when all men are considered capable of murder, rape etc because of the above.

But i don't think this is what people are saying. I'm certainly not.
There are obviously men who are capable of rape, sexual harassment and murder and there are probably more that we'd like to think ( speaking from very personal experience- on the surface my my mums boyfriend was lovely, couldn't do enough for any of us, seemed really gentle etc. There were no outward signs of abuse)

But do men as a class fully respect women? No, I don't believe they do.

RootyT00t · 14/03/2021 08:46

@Whenthesunshines

why was there not this absolute outpouring previously?

Social media.
‘Let’s protest’ ‘let’s hold a vigil’

Once the word gets out on social media it spreads like wildfire. Instant communication like this didn’t exist in the past so rallies, protests, mass gatherings were organised over a period of time.
Nowadays things happen very quickly.

When certain social media groups take an interest they can quickly hijack as we saw yesterday. Their organisers shepherding their followers like sheep.

The outrage was there in the past and expressed in a different way.

I’ve just looked at the front covers of today’s papers. The editions I have seen have ignored the police clashes with these groups. Good.

You are right.

My point is, is this the time and place?

I'd say no.

Re the argument that appears to have been kicked off over Sarah Everard, about her being extremely unlucky, it's brutal wordings but she was.

A few years ago, a girl was murdered in front of her clients and friends. I won't name her as to not also drag her into an agenda. A trust was set up. It was an appalling murder. She's not on the list. Why? Because she wasn't front page ?

Yet we shove them all on a list with Jill Dando and a child who was abducted and killed 25 years ago and say look at all these women who have been murdered. It's not on.

RootyT00t · 14/03/2021 08:47

@Pumperthepumper

Also *@RootyT00t* manipulation to what end? What is this manipulation? What’s the agenda?
Why are you all asking this as if you don't know?

Hijacking what has happened to push the agenda of feminism, as is clear as day on these threads.