To think that most men do respect women

[katieloves]

I’m concerned about the vilification of men that we’re hearing a lot about. I know there’s some men who disrespect women and this absolutely needs to stop, but equally I’ve witnessed women being equally disrespectful to men. I’ve seen plenty of women feeling up men etc. on a night out and it being laughed off. If this was reversed it would be considered assault. It feels like all men are being accused of treating women badly and I just don’t see it.

This is an article written by a friend of Sarah.

www.spiked-online.com/2021/03/13/this-is-not-what-sarah-would-have-wanted/

Sorry hrtft but even many of the “good ones” have a subconscious mild disrespect for women... whether it’s thinking it’s a woman’s job to do the majority of the cleaning at home, commenting on women drivers, mansplaining, calling a woman a silly cow or a stupid woman in the House of Commons for example. They may not admit it but deep down they believe they’re better/worthy of more respect than us, that we exist primarily to serve men in the kitchen and the bedroom. This is not to say these kind of men aren’t gentlemen and very nice, loving husbands etc, but it’s always there.

I'm shocked by that article.

[quote Whenthesunshines]This is an article written by a friend of Sarah.

www.spiked-online.com/2021/03/13/this-is-not-what-sarah-would-have-wanted/[/quote]
Her being a friend of the victim doesn't give her some special qualification. I'm afraid when I got to the point where she writes "She was extremely unlucky – that is all there is to it." my mind went into expletive overdrive.

As best we can tell, Sarah Everard suffered an extremely violent death and for no reason other than being a woman in the wrong place at the wrong time. To minimise that as being "extremely unlucky" is beyond fucked up. With friends like that, who needs enemies?

I'm afraid when I got to the point where she writes "She was extremely unlucky – that is all there is to it." my mind went into expletive overdrive.

Mine too.

TooTrueToBeGood

Yeh, you know best.

Massively disagree.

And my DH who is kind and respectful of women, also disagrees. He can see what an issue this is, and how hard it is for women, and how he will never ever understand the fear we have lived through and continue to live through. He does not feel vilified.

@Rupertbeartrousers

Sorry hrtft but even many of the “good ones” have a subconscious mild disrespect for women... whether it’s thinking it’s a woman’s job to do the majority of the cleaning at home, commenting on women drivers, mansplaining, calling a woman a silly cow or a stupid woman in the House of Commons for example. They may not admit it but deep down they believe they’re better/worthy of more respect than us, that we exist primarily to serve men in the kitchen and the bedroom. This is not to say these kind of men aren’t gentlemen and very nice, loving husbands etc, but it’s always there.

I don't think you can judge people by what they think because no-one knows - it is there actions that are important

If you have a point then make it. I really have not got the patience for fuckwits right now so either say your piece or shut the fuck up

What rattled your cage?
What don't you understand?
You obviously know best.
Point made.

Wow @ that article. If I was murdered and a friend of mine wrote that I’d malevolently haunt them for the rest of their life. But even if Sarah was of the opinion that feminism is an ‘agenda’ and men don’t have a collective problem (and her friend expressing those views doesn’t mean that she was) I would still continue to fight for her and the safety of all women.

Yes YABU. Firstly you are looking at a small segment of the worlds population if you are just thinking about the men you know. If you look at how women are treated all over the world in general there is very little respect for women from men. Secondly lots of men think they respect women but continue to patronise, belittle and sexually harrass them - under the guise of being protective, helpful and flattering.

In no way do I hate men but there is and has always been an issue with men thinking women are lesser beings.

@Whenthesunshines

If you have a point then make it. I really have not got the patience for fuckwits right now so either say your piece or shut the fuck up

What rattled your cage?
What don't you understand?
You obviously know best.
Point made.

You have not made a single coherent point. If you want to engage me in reasoned discussion I am all up for that. State your case. As it stand right now though, the only conclusion I can draw is that you lack the intellect to engage in any meaningful level of debate.

Go on, challenge yourself to construct a sentence of more than four words. You might surprise yourself. I'll not hold my breath though.

@TheJerkStore

I'm afraid when I got to the point where she writes "She was extremely unlucky – that is all there is to it." my mind went into expletive overdrive.

Mine too.

Same here. Some friend, and sorry but whoever wrote it is wrong - of course systematic misogyny has a crucial part to play in men getting away with violence against women!! It's more like a MRA piece as it seems to be centred around "not all menz". I agree that being a friend does not give you special qualification. Women are angry, and rightly so.

@MistressoftheDarkSide Perfectly said.

We have to start speaking up about this. Because as soon as women open our mouths about male harassment or violence either some bloke or some agitated woman jumps down our throats telling us how we should feel, shut up and be respectful, and just be good girls.

If you've ever been to Singapore, which they always criticise as strict and you'd understand the freedom of walking down a street at the dead of night and NOT fearing attack, rape or murder., because they flog and hang there. They understand that most attackers are cowards and when the state is deadly serious about these crimes they drop.

Btw theirs is the old British system, before we decided somewhere along the line to stop treating crimes against women seriously.

Imagine most women in the UK will never know how it feels to walk at midnight and feel completely safe. Why the hell not?? We pay our taxes, and raise kids, run the schools, and help to build the NHS and the rest of what makes Britain great too. So why can't women experience freedom enough to live, work, be safe at uni, go to a pub, ride public transport etc without assault, rape, intimidation or murder?

We've been waiting a long time for someone to give us this freedom and it hasn't happened yet. So we're going to have to fight for it ourselves, and maybe there's no better time than now.

Mistress of the Darkside that was a fantastic post.
The way the met have treated women tonight is further evidence of the problem women face for daring to speak out about the problem.

Yabu

Imo the majority of men do not respect women and society most certainly doesn't. Sadly some women don't either.

It’s not the “extremely unlucky” in that piece I have an issue with, it’s the “that’s all there is to it” that follows.

The accusation of politicisation (with the inference this is cheap and opportunistic) came up wrt black rights last year, and is just as unjust now. This isn’t party politics - trying to manoeuvre someone or other into power - and it’s unfair to suggest there is some agenda here. Unless advocating for your rights is an agenda.

Of course those of us who didn’t know Sarah are not grieving as her family and friends are, but the thoughts and feelings this has stirred up are genuine and deeply felt.

@gluteustothemaximus oh so your husband is an exception but all his friends aren't ? So why is he friends with them
As the op asked are most men respectful, so many on here are saying none are ,

Toogoodtobetrue

Three words from me and your response is:

I really have not got the patience for fuckwits right now so either say your piece or shut the fuck up

You have not made a single coherent point.

The only conclusion I can draw is that you lack the intellect to engage in any meaningful level of debate.

Challenge yourself to construct a sentence of more than four words -You might surprise yourself

You need to keep that temper in check.
You don't like people disagreeing with you do you?

I posted the link to the article written by a friend of Sarah and you responded with utter conviction that her friend was wrong in her opinion.
I think you know exactly what I meant when I replied 'You know best'.
Obviously a sarcastic response but it takes a certain level of arrogance to dismiss the words of people closest to her - which you did.

You said:
As best we can tell, Sarah Everard suffered an extremely violent death and for no reason other than being a woman in the wrong place at the wrong time. To minimise that as being "extremely unlucky" is beyond fucked up. With friends like that, who needs enemies?

Sarah was doing exactly what she should have been doing. She was in the right place at the right time. She should have been safe going about her daily business.
Her murderer is the one who should not have been there. Not Sarah.
She did nothing wrong. She was extremely unlucky to cross paths with this man when she did.

So all these people who think men are being unfairly vilified - what about the men who are saying they agree there is a systemic problem WITH MEN? What do you think about them?

Razzle
It’s not the “extremely unlucky” in that piece I have an issue with, it’s the “that’s all there is to it” that follows

I know what you mean, it's very blunt. The way I read it was more 'I don't know what else to say...'

@TedMullins are saying all men incl themselves though ?it seems some will day there is an issue but its not them

@TheMoth

Schools do try to educate kids about this. But many teachers are female and many boys see us as just nags or 'feminazis'. If they already have little respect for women, another one telling them to modify their behaviour isn't going to work.

I’ve taught a lesson on this to year 11s - was told by one young man that a female author of a study into male attitudes was probably ‘some dirty feminist’. Don’t think that I stopped talking to him specifically about his attitudes for the next hour, but it won’t have made a difference.

Also some people on here maybe need to think about how they are reacting and rudeness towards others who don't share their opinion
I also wonder how the victims family feel about all this maybe its their feelings at the moment we should be most concerned about , after all this directly affects them