Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Davina McCall's tweet

431 replies

SummerWhisper · 13/03/2021 04:07

Davina McCall tweeted that female abduction / murder is extremely rare and that this level of fearmongering isn't good for men's mental health.

I don't understand why she is attempting to shift the narrative back to how men are feeling after yet another woman's life has been brutally ended BY A MAN.

For fuck's sake, Davina, we have a prominent voice this week, a huge platform to raise awareness about how most of us have to make so many micro- and macro-adjustments to allow for men's violence and here you are, putting men's health in the centre of all this.

Am I being unreasonable in thinking she should apologise and remove her tweet?

Davina McCall's tweet
OP posts:
Tinkerbell456 · 13/03/2021 08:05

Hearts and flowers, I don’t think that you do have to tell the vast majority of men that it’s wrong to murder women, or other men, come to that. I also don’t think that the vast majority of Moslem men think it’s okay to blow up random people.

MrsTophamHat · 13/03/2021 08:13

I disagree with Davina but I support women being allowed to speak their minds.

If she were my friend and we were talking about the issue, I would put forward my own view without screaming at her or ending the friendship.

GetLost · 13/03/2021 08:16

Davina is right to say female abduction and murder by an unknown male is rare. And i don't think she should remove her tweet. But i think she's missed why women are so angry about Sarah's murder. Allegedly police advised women in the area to stay indoors after dark after Sarah disappeared. The response has snowballed to anger about having to take precautions and risk assessments every fucking time we go out.

Some women refuse to go out after dark because they feel unsafe. Seriously?? it's 2021 and we have to curtail our activities because of some cretins who want to cause harm for whatever reason.

Stats say estimated 97% of women have been assaulted, harassed, shouted at, leered at, stalked by a man. A direct, strong show of strength towards this typeof behaviour and culture will help to show these cowards that we will not tolerate this shit.

HeartZone · 13/03/2021 08:18

I totally agree with Davina. Thank you Davina for tweeting that.

Also this . It’s very dangerous ground taking the stance that all men are the same, responsible for the actions of a few. I remember the discussions following the terrorist attacks, you can’t tarnish everyone with the same brush - not all Muslims are terrorists and not all men are rapists and attackers.

6pm curfews for males what a ridiculous suggestion.
And this is the sort of thing that affects male mental health.

dontdisturbmenow · 13/03/2021 08:20

@HeartsAndClubs, Thank God for your voice here!

Theworldisfullofgs · 13/03/2021 08:21

But 6 pm curfews are ok for women?

The 6pm was a direct reference to what the police asked women to do today in 2021. They also asked women to do that in 1977 in response to the Ripper murders. That's how the reclaim the streets movement was started.

The point was nothing has changed in 40 plus years.

Lovemusic33 · 13/03/2021 08:21

I don’t find what she said upsetting, in a way it is true, not all men are murderers or rapists, some are, I can see why some men will think they are all being called “dangerous” when they are not.

I have been single for 5+ years after being in an abusive relationship, after suffering rape, I’m not sure if I will ever be able to trust anyone enough to let them into my life on a romantic level but I do have male friends, several that I trust (as friends), there are other men I wouldn’t want to be on my own with. Murder is rare, rape not so rare but we can’t just assume all men are the same.

MrsTophamHat · 13/03/2021 08:22

Heartzone

Nobody is seriously suggesting a 6pm curfew for men.

Lovemusic33 · 13/03/2021 08:23

And I don’t agree with the 6pm curfew, many rapes and attacks take place in daylight, many attacks take place at home. Why punish all men for the fact 1% of men have attacked or assaulted a woman?

HerNameIsY0shimi · 13/03/2021 08:25

I find this tweet really disappointing. If men are scared to walk alone at night. Why is that? Because they are scared of being attacked by...? Who? Women? No. They're scared of male violence. That is the problem. Male violence. Tweets like this try to shift the blame and minimise the problem in a way which is really unacceptable from a high profile woman imo.

derxa · 13/03/2021 08:25

@mummywantstobeslim

It's publicity for her
Probably. She's an attention seeker. Lockdown has been hard for these celebrities. I think she has every right to her opinion but I always look at the motivation.
savethewales · 13/03/2021 08:26

They didn’t ask women to stay in after 6pm, they asked women not to go out at night unless completely necessary and if they did go out to not go out alone...while the ripper was still at large, they didn’t know who he was so it’s not a comparable situation.

LaRidiculata · 13/03/2021 08:26

Well, I won't be joining her OYG website now. She is entitled to her own opinion but we need women to unite together to deal with this, not give men reasons not to bother.

Shame on you Davina.

Let's boycott men for a year. No sex, no cooking and cleaning for them, and let them pick up their own shit. That'll get them to do something about it.

AspergersMum · 13/03/2021 08:27

Her post is a typical PICK ME! response. She doesn't speak for me but the men lapped it up. And her next tweet when someone says they don't like not feeling safe walking alone is to say that she doesn't walk alone. PICK ME, LOOK AT ME, I'M RELEVANT

dontdisturbmenow · 13/03/2021 08:27

Her post is asking women to be quiet and make it ok for men. How is that not silencing women?

That's not all what she is saying. Male AND female commit murders. What about women who kill pregnant ones to still their unborn babies. Should we shout to every pregnant woman to watch making new friends with any female because after all, she could plotting to kill her and steal her baby.

Launching a campaign that indirectly attacks all members of one group for the horrors committed by a statistically miniscule number of people in that group is discrimination at its best.

missingeu · 13/03/2021 08:30

Although it's her view point. It doesn't rest easy with me but thats my opinion.

What upsets/bother me the most is:
Sarah WAS ABDUCTED
Sarah WAS MURDRED
Whilst WALKING HOME!!
BY A POLICEMAN!!! - I was brought to go to police if scared, I've taught my daugther to go the police if scared.

Theworldisfullofgs · 13/03/2021 08:32

What about women who kill pregnant ones to still their unborn babies.

What are you talking about, specifically?

FortunesFave · 13/03/2021 08:32

BrownTeddyBear because the news is different here! The only reason I've heard about it is social media because I use a UK site like MN.

And my Facebook has Brits all over it. Pretty obvious I'd have thought!

Nith I do hope that was NOT directed at me! Where did I say that fgs??

I just wanted to know what it was about THIS case that had galvanized everyone!

Bluntness100 · 13/03/2021 08:34

She’s allowed a voice and an opinion. As is everyone. Not agreeing with her opinion doesn’t mean she should apologise and delete.

And in part I agree with her, stranger danger is very rare. The much bigger issue is domestic violence, women are more at risk from their partners, misogyny and sexual harassment from men who think that shit is ok or funny. I don’t agree that it’s damaging to men’s mental health. But we are all allowed to have an opinion. Seeking to silence women, be it you or her, is never ok.

AspergersMum · 13/03/2021 08:35

She is pushing the NAMALT narrative then has tacked on something about mental health (but only for men) for good measure. I mean there must be a very small subset of extremely violent men getting very short sentences to be murdering women and children every 3 days if they are such a rare breed. Shut up, women, this doesn't concern you, I'm a rich white woman who is wise enough to never walk alone and I'm here to tell men that NAMALT so carry on as normal as you have for the past few millenia. What an absolute plonker.

FortunesFave · 13/03/2021 08:35

Apparently ONE woman is killed in the UK by a man every three days.

Some of those must be by people who know them by stats but some must be strangers.

So why has THIS case caught the attention of the media and public so much?

sixthtimelucky · 13/03/2021 08:36
  1. People ARE seriously talking about a 6pm curfew for men, however the comment was initially intended. The Welsh First Minister was positively grilled on it on BBC breakfast news.
  1. I completely agree with Davina. I'm not a male 'apologist' . I am a feminist. I'm a mother of girls (and boy). I've had experience of unwanted attention and creepy behaviour and these experiences should be discussed and condemned but I am utterly baffled by the reaction - I feel like I'm in a parallel universe.
HerNameIsY0shimi · 13/03/2021 08:36

She is entitled to say what she likes, but we are entitled to form our own opinions on her based on that. Freedom of speech is a basic right, but there will be consequences to what you choose to put out there.

I don't think she should be silenced or forced to delete it, but it has really lowered my opinion of her.

the80sweregreat · 13/03/2021 08:36

This bastard who robbed this woman of her life was let off a crime of indecent exposure three days beforehand.
Heads at the Met Police should roll about this alone. I'm not concerned about Davinas tweets, I'm concerned that the Met police are clearly as corrupt as fuck and a beautiful young woman has lost her life.
I'm shocked and angry to the core.
RIP Sarah Evenden.
Another poor victim of a sick and corrupt world.

supercee · 13/03/2021 08:36

@dontdisturbmenow

Her post is asking women to be quiet and make it ok for men. How is that not silencing women?

That's not all what she is saying. Male AND female commit murders. What about women who kill pregnant ones to still their unborn babies. Should we shout to every pregnant woman to watch making new friends with any female because after all, she could plotting to kill her and steal her baby.

Launching a campaign that indirectly attacks all members of one group for the horrors committed by a statistically miniscule number of people in that group is discrimination at its best.

Women killing pregnant women for their babies is statistically minuscule. Male murderers are not.