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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Davina McCall's tweet

431 replies

SummerWhisper · 13/03/2021 04:07

Davina McCall tweeted that female abduction / murder is extremely rare and that this level of fearmongering isn't good for men's mental health.

I don't understand why she is attempting to shift the narrative back to how men are feeling after yet another woman's life has been brutally ended BY A MAN.

For fuck's sake, Davina, we have a prominent voice this week, a huge platform to raise awareness about how most of us have to make so many micro- and macro-adjustments to allow for men's violence and here you are, putting men's health in the centre of all this.

Am I being unreasonable in thinking she should apologise and remove her tweet?

Davina McCall's tweet
OP posts:
GCAcademic · 13/03/2021 06:31

This reply has been deleted

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MaMaD1990 · 13/03/2021 06:31

To me, YABU. She's well within her rights to voice her opinion. If you tweeted something in the same way (non-aggressive) and someone didn't agree with your opinion, would you delete it and apologise?

FortunesFave · 13/03/2021 06:31

Clymene I have NO idea why you're being snippy. The question I'm asking is why THIS murder has garnered such massive attention.

It's not an unreasonable question! It's maybe an academic one but it's not unreasonable NOR is it suggesting that it's fine to murder women fgs.

Wishing14 · 13/03/2021 06:34

I think both ‘sides’ are right in different ways and it’s always important to have a balanced argument and discussion in every area of life. It’s extremely frustrating how everything today is politicised to the extreme and there can only be one ‘right’ way to think, and anyone else should be censored. She is entitled to her opinion.

IFoundMyselfInThisBar · 13/03/2021 06:35

She clearly isn’t understanding the issue at all. But no surprises there. I pity women who have her opinion.

Ignore her and get back to the real issue.

Thewinterofdiscontent · 13/03/2021 06:36

@garlictwist

I dunno, I sort of see her point. It is rare, and actually why tarnish all men with that particular brush? Most men are pretty decent people. And I do feel, as a woman, that there has been a lot of fear mongering as a result of this case. Personally I have never felt scared walking alone as I know the chances of anything happening to me are slim.

I think it's a bit grandiose of Davina to claim that this is affecting men's mental health, I imagine it really isn't, but she's allowed her opinion.

Overwhelming death and violence IS a male problem. If it’s 92% in this country it must be close to 100% in more patriarchal countries. Watch the news. The wars, the famines the crime. It’s always men with the guns. Of course not every man. Of course some are decent. But it’s really only woman calling men out not other men. Even though they are more likely to be victims of violent crime. I have no problems walking by myself. I know I live in a low crime area and frankly you are unlikely to see anyone out walking late in the proper countryside. But I know if something did happen it’s more than likely to be a male.
Orchidflower1 · 13/03/2021 06:39

@Acesulfame

I don’t necessarily agree with the tweet but I’m unclear why you think she should apologise and delete it. You disagree with it so it shouldn’t exist? She’s entitled to her opinion and to express it. You’re entitled to disagree. That’s that really isn’t it?
This totally.
FOJN · 13/03/2021 06:42

I disagree with her opinion but I am completely opposed to cancel culture. Her tweet is not insulting or threatening anyone so she should not have to apologise, no matter how misguided you or I may think she is.

MumUndone · 13/03/2021 06:43

So, why should all white people be held responsible for ending racism? We're not all like that. What about the mental health of white people?

Same, same.

GreenlandTheMovie · 13/03/2021 06:46

TV star voicing non controversial opinion to get good publicity for herself - good for her career. Hardly adding anything new to the debate, is she? YANBU.

Clymene · 13/03/2021 06:46

@FortunesFave

Clymene I have NO idea why you're being snippy. The question I'm asking is why THIS murder has garnered such massive attention.

It's not an unreasonable question! It's maybe an academic one but it's not unreasonable NOR is it suggesting that it's fine to murder women fgs.

I didn't mean to be snippy. I really do think what happened to sarah everard is absolutely shocking. Women do get killed all the time but typically by their partners, not random policemen.
HeartsAndClubs · 13/03/2021 06:46

But women are murdered all the time...what's different about this one that's made things change in the media? she was young, white, and pretty.

IFoundMyselfInThisBar · 13/03/2021 06:47

She also made some very controversial comments about relationships in the past, something about women should have sex with their man no matter how exhausted they are, to ensure they don’t cheat. 🙄 I’ve thought she was not worth listening to since then really.

Clymene · 13/03/2021 06:47

@GCAcademic

She's always been thick as shit, but she's allowed her dumb opinion.

As if any man cares enough about this for it to affect their mental health. It's amazing the cognitive lengths some people will go to to centre men in everything.

Indeed
Slurtdragon · 13/03/2021 06:48

@Losttheequipment

I really hate this notion that people are not allowed to have an unpopular opinion any more. It’s not in any way healthy for our society to seek to shut down an opinion that doesn’t conform to the mass rule one.
This!!
Positively · 13/03/2021 06:50

YABU , she is allowed her opinion. It is beyond awful this happened but I agree it’s not all men. Even if we made fundamental changes to society and massively reduced predatory behaviour and sexual harassment, would I still tell my daughters to be careful - yes of course I would. What happened last week is so horrific I am not sure protest and asking for change sadly would make difference, perpetrators like that are so far gone the other way. Anyway this is just my opinion , be kind !

Tangogolf55 · 13/03/2021 06:53

Of course she’s allowed her opinion. Ffs, it’s an opinion! You dont have to like it, but stop being so melodramatic over an opinion.

LizzieSiddal · 13/03/2021 06:55

This tweet is the equivalent to the “All lives matter” nonsense.

Hamster1111 · 13/03/2021 06:58

You may not agree with her but she has the absolute right to post her opinion and should not be required to apologise for having her own thoughts and expressing them.

Inthevirtualwaitingroom · 13/03/2021 06:59

I dont like her tweet and i also dont like all lives matter response, or police lives matter

Moulesvinrouge1 · 13/03/2021 07:02

@SuperCaliFragalistic

I don't really disagree with her. It is rare and it isn't healthy to be fearful all the time. Women are at much greater physical danger at home. However the lower level looks, comments, unwanted touching and public harassment is completely ingrained. Men and boys are taught by other men to do it, women are taught to accept it, or shrug it off. It's not OK. But the physical danger as represented by this particular case is highly unusual.
Yes kidnap and murder us thankfully quite rare. But it does happen. And what is even more commonplace is rape, assault, sexual harassment and general street harassment and intimidation. I know women who have suffered all these things. I too was punched by a man in daylight for not giving him the attention he wanted. So the worst outcome is quite rare, but the fear is real and absolutely justified. I think women’s mental health suffers from having their worse fears realised. I already don’t run at night what do I do now? Never go out? Davina can say what she likes but the consequence is that people might think she’s an idiot.
kitschplease · 13/03/2021 07:03

Her whole career is built on appealing to everyone, so I'm not surprised. Disappointed though - tall about missing the point.

I also don't agree with cancel culture - leaving idiotic tweets up makes it much easier to see who the hard-of-thinking are.

Brownteddybear · 13/03/2021 07:04

@FortunesFave

I'm British but have lived abroad for some years...I'm unsure as to why this case has garnered such a massive outrage? Not that that's bad of course! It's important that it has!

But women are murdered all the time...what's different about this one that's made things change in the media?

What's the fact that you're British and living abroad got to do with it? Confused

Abduction, kidnap, rape, young woman murdered at the hands of a police officer. You don't understand the outrage at this?

Nith · 13/03/2021 07:07

Why do you want to silence another woman?

VivaBahhumbug · 13/03/2021 07:08

Am I being unreasonable in thinking she should apologise and remove her tweet?

Yes. Thankfully we don't (yet) live in a world policed by people who demand that our every thought and word is 'cancelled' and we are publicly punished and humiliated if they don't agree happen to agree with us.

And without wishing to minimise women's fears I do think she makes a valid point. Even if I didn't she's still entitled to voice it.

It seems there is no room for give on either side of any argument these days. Everything is so polarised and black and white. You are either right or your are wrong. With us or against us. It's an extremely dangerous and unhealthy way to debate and to view the world in general.

We've seen it with the Harry and Meghan thing, Brexit, BLM, trans activism and now this. I sometimes wonder if there is anyone capable of balanced and measured thought left - at least anyone under 40 anyway.

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