To have reported my next door neighbour to the police?

[HeartsAndClubs]

This morning I am 99% certain that I heard my neighbour hitting his child. She was screaming in absolute terror and he was shouting at her while hitting her. It was loud enough that I could hear it through the walls. Then when she stopped screaming he carried on shouting. It’s now gone very quiet.

These neighbours are always shouting at one another, but never like this. I froze at the time so didn’t ring 999 before it had all died down, but I have reported it, and am about to report to social services.

But talking to a friend she said we don’t know the circumstances, and what if the child has SN and was screaming and head banging or similar and I should have stayed out of it.

I am 99% sure I’ve done the right thing. But what if friend is right? I’ve seen posts on here from parents saying their children scream constantly due to SN. I would hate to think that I have potentially put them under investigation if they might not have done anything.

So better off reporting it than assuming everything is OK. If the child has SNs then medical records will show it and the social worker will factor that in. If you didn't report it could you live with yourself if in a months time you saw the child on the news dead. Always best to be cautious in these situations and FYI someone at school reported us thinking my son who was 5 at the time was suffering abuse because he poked a child in the bum with his finger. The social worker came to see us and apologised after. I will tell you what I told her "never apologise for putting the welfare of a child first" I would happily be checked on again for him being a silly child if it means a child who is suffering receives the same check and gets the help they need because of it.

If something sounds wrong enough to worry you, take action. I think we have an unconscious ability to know when something sounds off. You said you've heard them arguing before but haven't felt like you did today.

Unrelated but similar, I heard my neighbours dogs carry on but it wasn't their normal noise. I was worried and made multiple attempts to contact the neighbour (dogs are inside so couldn't see them). Luckily I did as she got home to blood everywhere and a dog with a 6" tear down it's side. My gut reaction was that doesn't sound right / normal - and it was right.

So I think you've done the right thing.

My real question is how do you know he hit her...? All you heard was screaming and banging noises.

A lot of kids scream the house down when they have been naughty or are told off. And will also bang the walls, stomp their feet,etc...

@BalancedIndividual

My real question is how do you know he hit her...? All you heard was screaming and banging noises.

A lot of kids scream the house down when they have been naughty or are told off. And will also bang the walls, stomp their feet,etc...

That is what the police/SS will try to establish.

If nobody reported concerns unless they were 100% certain abuse was taking place, there would be a whole lot more dead children than there already are. And there are already too many.

@BalancedIndividual

My real question is how do you know he hit her...? All you heard was screaming and banging noises.

A lot of kids scream the house down when they have been naughty or are told off. And will also bang the walls, stomp their feet,etc...

She doesn’t. The police and social services will find out.

Why do people do this? Second guess an investigation? Report and move on.

My real question is how do you know he hit her...? All you heard was screaming and banging noises. I don’t. But equally i don’t know that he didn’t hit her.

But any parent shouting at a screaming child to that degree shouldn’t be. And he kept shouting even after she’d stopped screaming.

Thanks OP, sadly the abuse didn't stop until I was 16 or 17. Hard to believe really, but I was just so downtrodden that I was used to it and thought I must have deserved it.

I met DH when I was 18 and eventually got away from home when I got married a few years later. My brother left home the same day as I did.

My mum - who did absolutely NOTHING to stop dad abusing us - then and only then decided to divorce him, because she didn't want to be left alone with him, being the sole focus of his aggression. Thanks Mum!! . He died a few years ago and I'm very low contact with my mum.

I have to say though, my proper life started the day I met DH. He is just the sweetest, kindest, funniest, most gentle bloke and we still absolutely adore each other, 40 years on. We didn't have DC because I was worried that I'd have even a fraction of my dad's temper, but we have loads of animals. Most of them are rescues and some of them are a bit wonky, but they know nothing but love, cuddles and the best of everything that it's in our power to give them. My past certainly doesn't define me, but I will always stand up if I think a person or an animal is being abused.

Sorry for the long post, but I never miss a chance to plead with people to do something if they suspect a child needs help.

to you OP, and I hope there's a child who feels that someone cares, if indeed it is the case that they need it.

I wish someone had done it for me.
You've done the right thing.
If it is explainable, then there will be no comeback. If it's more sinister, you've saved a child.

I'm glad you did this

I often often wonder why my self righteous neighbours never reported my abusive scum when he was attacking my daughter and I
I used to scream so loudly day and night

If this was an misunderstanding they explain. That to SS
If this is more serious then I pray this innocent child will be safe now

You absolutely did the right thing. Please don't worry.

I reported someone to SS as there were lots of things I'd witnessed or heard that one offs may be small but together were huge. My h was furious at me but I stand by it. Those kids deserve better. You did the right thing.

Oh Christ just seen it's a zombie ! Gah.

You absolutely did the right thing. If there is an innocent reason for what you heard then there will be no repercussions for them and if they do need extra support with this child then they'll get it.

Your friend is an idiot. Of course you did the right thing, can’t believe you’re doubting it.

I remember reading this when it was originally posted and was looking forward to an update

@BluebelllsRosesDaffodills why did you reopen a old thread to post a not very relevant comment?

Maybe @HeartsAndClubs will see this and let us know the outcome

You have absolutely done the right thing but don't make it an anonymous report. This can't be used in court.
The social workers will go out but the parents will just deny it and with no further evidence it will be case closed.

But if you tell them your name and ask them to call you for more details they can use your evidence to move forward.

There may already be allegations of abuse from school/ nursery- it's extremely rare for these things to happen in isolation

But next time please call 999 at the time so the police can be witnesses themselves.

I work it the police control room as a radio operator. I dispatch officers to these sorts of calls on a daily basis.
More often than not we are updated that all is in order, the child was having an ASD meltdown/teething/had their phone taken off them etc, all in order no concerns. However a Child to Notice form is always submitted.
Sometimes though the update isn't so good. The child has been taken into police protection and the parent arrested.
As the person reporting you can't know what is going on - and we can't know unless someone tells us. Calling the police does not automatically mean intrusive SS services involvement and usually a friendly chat is had and the officers are on their way in 10 minutes.

Oh and this is a 999 call AT THE TIME. There's no point in rolling up 24 hours later.

Rough guide - if something's happening now call 999. Especially if that something involves screaming or other sounds of distress

Your job is to report. It's somebody else's job to investigate (police, social services). If the child has SEN, if he's shouting and hitting her, there's a loss of control and you reported hearing genuine child abuse.

You have nothing to regret or feel guilty for.

I disagree that shouting is never helpful .It’s the only thing some thick- skinned DC understand.

You resurrected a zombie thread to say this?!

I reported my neighbour to social services but the way I worded it was I was really worried for her and that she might need support. She had split from her BF and was pregnant and had another child. There was so much shouting over a period of a few months of their RS breakdown, sometimes at like 6am.

One evening the whole street rushed outside in a panic because the screaming (mum and child) was so awful. It was really awful. She had lost it with her child. I have not spoken to her since but things seem so much better for her when I have seen her around and I did want the best not the worst. She might not like me for it but I don’t regret it

You did absolutely the right thing op.
Obviously calling 999 at the time would have been best but you’ve followed up with police and social care, so hopefully they can assess the situation.

It’s really difficult to call about something so close to home but absolutely the right thing.