To have reported my next door neighbour to the police?

[HeartsAndClubs]

This morning I am 99% certain that I heard my neighbour hitting his child. She was screaming in absolute terror and he was shouting at her while hitting her. It was loud enough that I could hear it through the walls. Then when she stopped screaming he carried on shouting. It’s now gone very quiet.

These neighbours are always shouting at one another, but never like this. I froze at the time so didn’t ring 999 before it had all died down, but I have reported it, and am about to report to social services.

But talking to a friend she said we don’t know the circumstances, and what if the child has SN and was screaming and head banging or similar and I should have stayed out of it.

I am 99% sure I’ve done the right thing. But what if friend is right? I’ve seen posts on here from parents saying their children scream constantly due to SN. I would hate to think that I have potentially put them under investigation if they might not have done anything.

@2004pickle I absolutely agree. I’m always a bit when posters on here not only say “if there’s nothing wrong then things will be ok,” but also “Any parent would appreciate someone actually taking notice and looking out for the welfare of children.” and I suppose that’s why people like me hesitate.

You basil did the right thing, your friend is a twat

Absolutely not basil, damn autocorrect!

You've done the right thing, if the DC was having meltdowns you shouldn't hear the parent shouting aggressively.

I have a son with SN who screams, headbands etc. Would not be a problem if one of my neighbours called either the police or social services as a) I would be pleased they are looking out for my child b) could be explained immediately to any agency that intervened and backed up with school/medical records etch you've done the right thing.

Yanbu. I wish someone had done this for me as a child, the same happened to me

Even if a child has SEN, a genuine loving parent wouldn’t mind the report as it means someone cares enough to intervene. You’ve done the right thing.

You did the right thing.
I once reported a neighbour across the street. So had other people it later turned out.
Anyway unfortunately it was child abuse and very serious. They believed that the child (not much older than a baby) was a witch. It was very sad. I wasn't sure if I was doing the right thing at the time, in hindsight I wish I'd called much sooner and / or gone round there myself and rescued the little one.

Your friend is an idiot. Of course you should have reported it. You have absolutely done the right thing. That’s why things like this continue, because neighbours mind their own business. No one should be ignoring this kind of concern.

Mind your own business it's only a snapshot it might be sn what about the poor parent ...
Is how children wind up dead.

It is always better to report concerns than not.

When my son was little it was a really hot day so we had all the windows open. My son (adopted) had just come to live with us and was very unsettled. He was screaming at the top of his lungs and I mean ear piercing screaming. I was with him the whole time, rocking him and hushing him while a friend was downstairs entertaining my daughter. After over an hour a neighbour who I had never met came and knocked on the door about why I had left my baby t scream for so long. The friend answered and then I came through with said apoplectic child in my arms.

I was never cross at the woman for coming to ensure he was ok. I absolutely think she did the right thing and she had the best of intentions. if your neighbour has a reasonable explanation then no harm down, if not you have protected a vulnerable child.

I think you should have rung social services with your concerns not the police.

Tree he only issue is they will likely know it's you and it might make living beside them quite difficult.

You did the right thing.

When I was a child the neighbours always hesitated about reporting because they didn't want to interfere if they were wrong. My earliest memory is of my father beating one of my siblings. We were taken by my GP's when I was 7 so I was much younger than that when I learned not to answer back or cry or admit to being hungry or liking a certain toy.

Everyone knew and no-one did anything. You did the right thing.

@VettiyaIruken

Mind your own business it's only a snapshot it might be sn what about the poor parent ...
Is how children wind up dead.

Yes, this is sadly true. You might be wrong, let's hope you are. But better to be wrong and report it than right and not report it.

@Reinventinganna

Forgot to say, I have a child with ASD who used to scream the house down. Me shouting at him or hitting him wouldn’t have helped.

Ditto. You did the right thing,OP.

Ah Jesus these stories

Thank you for doing this op xxxx

I know you know, but if the child has SN they still shouldn’t be hit. It is possible to have SN with loud behaviour but also to be abused so still right to ring in this situation.

But talking to a friend she said we don’t know the circumstances, and what if the child has SN and was screaming and head banging or similar and I should have stayed out of it.

She’s right in that you don’t know the circumstances which is exactly why you did the right thing in reporting. The professionals are trained to assess the circumstances and act accordingly. They can’t do that if no one reports.

A good parent who shouted like that - would perfectly understand why someone would react to hearing it! (They might be ashamed of themselves or have some explanation but they would understand why it was reported.)

A bad parent shouting like that should be reported whether they like it or not.

If it was nothing - then someone will have checked and wasted a few mins. If it was something - you might have saved lives.

@mummywantstobeslim

Tree he only issue is they will likely know it's you and it might make living beside them quite difficult.

The not tree he. Ffs autocorrect

My son reported to the police a small child in his block of flats hanging out of an open window. They came round right away. The child was being minded by an elderly gran who was apparently clueless about what the kid was doing. It's certainly saved the child's life.

God as the parent of a special needs child who screamed non stop for five years I am glad you are not my neighbour. I often wondered if we would get 'a visit' but I think my neighbours are very understanding and kind.

That's not to say you shouldn't report in this instance mind. If you feel worried for the safety of a child ALWAYS report. I am just saying I hope it is not a situation like mine.

Absolutely the right thing, even with a smidgeon of doubt.