The men I know feel like this too ...

[Givitarest]

This "Every woman you know" meme is trending on social media. But men are in danger from violent men too and, in fact, are much more likely to be a target. With reference to Jess Phillips, if a politician were to read out the names of all the men who had died at the hands of other men, as well as the women, it would be a very long list indeed. If society has "just accepted" dead women then we have just accepted dead men too.
I fear for my sons' safety, and give them very similar safety advice as I would if they were daughters. My husband has always taken similar measures to the things on this list (whilst also avoiding walking behind lone women etc) and has had more negative personal experiences than I have. So can people please stop sharing memes that demonise men? It is 'misandry' ... the antonym to mysogyny ... and the movement against violence will not win widespread support unless it is more appropriately framed.

The thing is @2021ismyyear those ideas you posted are a bloody good start, they would change things for the better, but as we (women) aren't the whole of society, we need men as the other part of society, to implement and agree, to do it alongside us, and while asking men to get on board with it is met with responses like "Stop accusing all men" "Not all men are like that" and "Men get hurt too" and "You'll never change the really bad men" it just steers the conversation away from even talking about those changes.
What is the motive behind even talking about these things being stopped?

Many women aren't saying all men, they're saying that enough men to make it a day to day issue, and they're asking for men to support and the reply is to shut the conversation down before it starts. I don't think all men, but I think (based on my experience and other women's experience ) enough men because it's not an insignificant problem. Talking about it does not diminish the experiences of men who face violence.

www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/crimeandjustice/articles/homicideinenglandandwales/yearendingmarch2020

Marcus rashford is a good man and has certainly done more than most to help kids out.

Yet you dismissed his tweet 2012ismyyear, what did his tweet say that made you go all defensive? The fact he said all men have a role to play? Or that he exhorted men to listen to what women are saying?

Why do the men you know not want to hear what women are saying? Why do women have to couch their language and defer to men's feelings when discussing male violence? Can you not see how that plays directly into the hands of the power dynamic? Ask nicely, women have asked nicely and what's changed?

I explained earlier. Not interested in #bekind type tweets. Want to see action not just words for show! There will be plenty of celebs that jump on this bandwagon but actually are complete arseholes.

Remember the black squares all over Instagram and one influencer (I won’t name names) was unearthed as being terribly racist. She said some awful things on Twitter a few years back. Yet there she was, placing black square on her Instagram.

Marcus Rashford's tweet was far from a #bekind type tweet yet you still dismissed it, a tweet from a man who got the Government of the day to feed children in poverty.

@Sleepingdogs12

There is a pandemic of male violence. I am sorry but men need to start addressing this as a group ,which I really hope for as maybe it will have an impact. They can't expect women to do this for them we have enough on our plates .

I agree, when there's a discussion about women safety there are men who join the thread and say "what about mens safety". Mens safety is important too but maybe they need to start their conversation about it if they are seriously worried about it. Hijacking a discussion about the safety of women isn't the place as it suggests that they don't really care about womens safety at all.

Oh reddogs you are being really silly. Now you are protecting a man you don’t know. For a hashtag. How do you know Marcus doesn’t laugh at sexist jokes with his team mates or do any of the number of things this thread has accused men of doing? Are you his girlfriend?

@2021ismyyear

Not according to this thread... you all believe that most men are the problem. You aren’t asking them for help. You are not asking them “what can we do to make this better?” Even the men in my life who you know zero about. You are making assumptions based on if someone has a penis or not. It’s not good enough.

‘Most’ men are not lovely. ‘Most’ men just don’t murder us. ‘Most’ men are the problem.

We literally have been asking them to help. For pages and pages!

@2021ismyyear

My dh is a father to two young girls. He doesn’t “shout out to 12 year old school girls” as another poster suggested. He doesn’t “walk past injured people”. He does offer to give our friends lifts so they don’t need to walk back alone (male and female), he doesn’t watch porn (as you think all men do)

A few years ago my stepdad told me he stopped walking past a primary school alone because “society judges a lone male near a primary school” so he would rather pick another route. How fucking sad is that.

I didn't suggest yourDH did it,I was referring to A Man.

The only person being silly here is you 2021ismyyear, your previous post called Marcus Rashford a good man, I didn't say anything about his goodness I was discussing his tweet and the fact he is more perceptive and not whining about hurt feelings like the men in your circle. I'll turn your ridiculous questions back on you - how do you know he's a good man, are you his girlfriend?.

You really are upset about other men not being defensive and upset about this and being prepared to listen to what women are saying, aren't you? What's wrong do you think they are letting the side down by not centring men's feelings?

Actually 2021 to be fair you suggested some good starts.

If you could be less defensive and see we're not saying all men are like that but they could do more we're heading towards the same page.I think you're wrong about Marcus R though, he's a good one.

But can I respectfully suggest you NEVER write your DHs CV

Men’s feelings are not more important than the stories of their victims

What if the victim was a man?

[quote ithinkigetit]**@AndAPartridgeInABearTree* I only have DDs*
I think the posters with DSs are going to see where the OP is coming from here.[/quote]
I have both. And I don't.

Men’s feelings are not more important than the fight for equality

Equality is not ordering the importance of feelings based on gender

“Their pain is not equal to ours”

You cannot generalise like this. How the hell do you know what any person has been through on an individual level?!

Read the op only and feel sick. You should be ashamed

It's still male violence, though. It's not women killing men.

Society is constantly told to change its way/behaviours because of a minority. Example... “people who menstruate” on sanitary towel packaging because we may offend those women that have transitioned to men now but still menstruate.

“Their pain is not equal to ours” hmmmmmm

Charities dealing with men who suffer domestic abuse have seen pleas for help jump by up to 60% during the lockdown.

The Respect Men's Advice Line said some victims had told them they had sought refuge by sleeping in cars or in tents in the gardens of friends or relatives.

The charity said it had received 13,812 calls and emails between April and July in lockdown compared to 8,648 in the same period in 2019.