The men I know feel like this too ...

[Givitarest]

This "Every woman you know" meme is trending on social media. But men are in danger from violent men too and, in fact, are much more likely to be a target. With reference to Jess Phillips, if a politician were to read out the names of all the men who had died at the hands of other men, as well as the women, it would be a very long list indeed. If society has "just accepted" dead women then we have just accepted dead men too.
I fear for my sons' safety, and give them very similar safety advice as I would if they were daughters. My husband has always taken similar measures to the things on this list (whilst also avoiding walking behind lone women etc) and has had more negative personal experiences than I have. So can people please stop sharing memes that demonise men? It is 'misandry' ... the antonym to mysogyny ... and the movement against violence will not win widespread support unless it is more appropriately framed.

Men aren’t attacked for simply being men.

@AmandaHugenkiss

I’ve spoken to many men in my life over the years, and it never crosses their minds not to run on their own in the dark, not to walk home that mile late at night rather than take a taxi, not to take a long walk across isolated moorland on their own. They just can’t grasp what it is to life your life in fear of attack. I don’t think it’s the same thing.

They probably don't tell you, because it's not considered the manly thing to do.

No one is saying men are never at risk. But please don’t detract from what is actually the issue that is being talked about. That is the constant fear of violence and harassment by men of women and girls.

OP, men are mainly attacked by other men. Male violence is an issue. Why are you trying to deny that? It's not just "a few bad eggs"

Here's some ONS data for you OP. Women are more likley to be victims of violence at almost all ages. Men are overwhelmingly the aggressors. Nor does this graphic take into account the sexual harrasment, groping, catcalling, workplace discrimiation and sexist abuse that women suffer everyday. From men.

Oh and the kicker is, women under-report these crimes, because they know they won't be taken seriously. Due to attitudes like "wah, what about the men!".

96% of murder are committed by males. 99% of all sex crimes. 90% of all violent crime.

That is not the same thing as saying 96% of males are murderers. It is not offensive to decent men to point out that almost all violence is done by bad men. Men getting huffy about it is part of the problem, because it shuts down the conversation.

Some more stats for you - women are on average, two stone lighter and six inches shorter than men. Men are around 30% stronger than us. Most women will lose a fight against almost any man because of this huge discrepancy in size and strength.

Do the huffy men who would never kill anyone challenge their mates when they catcall women in the street, grope them in bars? Or do they ignore it, make excuses, write it off as "lads being lads"?

Our culture tolerates behaviour from a large cohort of men which contributes to women feeling unsafe. That is unacceptable.

It is not misandry to point this out.

Do you know what I’m sick and tired of? Women voice a problem they’re having, in this case male on female violence, and other people (often women themselves) come along and start with the “yeah but what about men? They have it worse because x y z” Just give it a rest and start holding men accountable for their actions which includes whether they hold other men to account for theirs.

"They are demonising men. The violent actions of a relatively small number of disturbed men (and a much smaller number of women) are a huge problem, but we need to be united if we're going to tackle it, not divided by gender. The current pitch of the campaign is alienating a massive number of people who would otherwise be supportive."

Given the number of women who have been sexually assaulted and the number of women who have been victims of domestic violence we aren't really looking a small number though are we?

I don't think your point follows any logical path, you think discussing the violence against women is demonising men because men are also victims of crime ... but somehow there are also barely any men committing these violent crimes anyway? Which is it? Are men victims too or do these things not happen?

The violent actions of a relatively small number of disturbed men (and a much smaller number of women) are a huge problem

Do you ever think it’s interesting that 97% of women (18-24) have been sexually harassed; that 1 in 4 woman have been raped or seriously sexually assaulted; that virtually every woman you speak to has some experience of sexual violence but that no one knows a perpetrator?!

Either there are as you say a “relatively small number of disturbed men” out there or this is fucking endemic and huge numbers of men undertake appalling behaviour towards women.

A man attacked by another man has at least a chance to defend himself. Most men are at least 50% stronger than the average woman. A woman attacked by a man has almost no chance to defend herself. The level of threat is higher.

There are a lot of men attacked by other men, but there are a lot of men out at times and places most women wouldn't contemplate. Through sheer opportunity they are more likely to be attacked.

OP of men directed their attention to stamping out and making male violence less acceptable rather than constantly refraining 'poor us being vilified, when we are vulnerable too', the world would be a better place.
The difference is men will ignore and sometimes collude with violent men because 'its not their job to address it'. Women are far more vulnerable and therefore have no choice but to wade.

@Reinventinganna

Men aren’t attacked for simply being men.

They are attacked for being alone and vulnerable to attack ... like women. The nature of the attack may be different, but they're still dead at the end of it.

I'll be honest, I have no idea how to even start such a thing?

Was your husband wearing shorts and why was he walking alone in risky places?

@Givitarest
Relatively small number of disturbed men?!

If it’s a relatively small number of disturbed men, how come most women have been sexually harassed or assaulted?

A small number murder. But the problem is not a small minority. The problem stems from the vast majority.

Again I ask. What has your own husband actually ever done to tackle male violence and harassment of women? Or does he just say #metoo?

@Givitarest

This "Every woman you know" meme is trending on social media. But men are in danger from violent men too and, in fact, are much more likely to be a target. With reference to Jess Phillips, if a politician were to read out the names of all the men who had died at the hands of other men, as well as the women, it would be a very long list indeed. If society has "just accepted" dead women then we have just accepted dead men too. I fear for my sons' safety, and give them very similar safety advice as I would if they were daughters. My husband has always taken similar measures to the things on this list (whilst also avoiding walking behind lone women etc) and has had more negative personal experiences than I have. So can people please stop sharing memes that demonise men? It is 'misandry' ... the antonym to mysogyny ... and the movement against violence will not win widespread support unless it is more appropriately framed.

Isn't this ^ the equivalent of people saying white lives matter too?

Men do matter but this issue is about women.

OP this just smacks of “but what about meeeeeeee”

Men aren’t killed by men because they’re men. Women are killed by men because they’re women, because men have the upper hand in strength and because society presents us as the weaker sex, men feel entitled to our bodies and lives.

I’ve said it before in here and I’ll say it again. 80% of women in the UK have been sexually assaulted. That’s not just a few men. Granted, it’s not all but it’s not just a few. The point is, that sexual assault on women and misogyny is so ingrained in our society that some of these men won’t even realise what they’re doing is wrong. They think it’s normal and that has to change. Your argument is unhelpful. Men need to be on board with making a change and stop bleating about how offended they are by truth.

twitter.com/GarryCarmody/status/1369760683068428293?s=09

Maybe you only listen to men OP, so here is a clip of a man explaining why this is a male issue.

Worth a watch in general though.

What’s your point OP? You want women to shut up and stop talking about the violence and abuse against them carried out by men, because it makes other men feel bad? Or is it OK to talk about it as long as we go to great lengths to highlight Not All Men and maybe highlight lots of good things men have done too?

Misandry? Are you joking? Flip your argument OP.

A much higher proportion of women refrain from hurting/raping/murdering other humans.

Why is it unreasonable of us to expect that men refrain from hurting/raping/murdering other people?

We are subject to the sane laws, policing, politicians and policies. We manage it. Why can't they? It is a man problem. They are not babies ffs. They need telling its wrong and they need to get a grip on tye problem. Facts aren't misandry.

YABU. HTH.

I was meant to quote the poster who asked what someone's DH had actively done to help?

As a non violent man I don't happen to know or associate with violent men but accept it?

Only once years ago I was aware of domestic violence with partners sisters boyfriend but police already involved. Honestly what could I do as a fellow man?

and the movement against violence will not win widespread support unless it is more appropriately framed.

Only a cunt bases their opinion on the question of whether violence is wrong on how ‘appropriately framed’ it is.

@Reinventinganna

Men aren’t attacked for simply being men.

This simple sentence has summed up the entire issue perfectly.

ripples101 many women never have to delve in to the realms of environments dominated by men. I have due to work and also hobbies. Sometimes when they don’t realise you are there the mask slips.

I was in an online gaming group for years, I was the only woman. This is an MMO game so intense intricate gaming. Amongst that group were a primary school teacher, a MH professional and a guy who worked as a health and safety manager. They got comfortable with me and I think almost forgot I was a woman. A streamer was discussed and the way they talked about her. She was an object just for their pleasure, nothing else. I left that group. This may seem very low level to but that’s the deep down issue we are just objects and not seen as people.