The men I know feel like this too ...

[Givitarest]

This "Every woman you know" meme is trending on social media. But men are in danger from violent men too and, in fact, are much more likely to be a target. With reference to Jess Phillips, if a politician were to read out the names of all the men who had died at the hands of other men, as well as the women, it would be a very long list indeed. If society has "just accepted" dead women then we have just accepted dead men too.
I fear for my sons' safety, and give them very similar safety advice as I would if they were daughters. My husband has always taken similar measures to the things on this list (whilst also avoiding walking behind lone women etc) and has had more negative personal experiences than I have. So can people please stop sharing memes that demonise men? It is 'misandry' ... the antonym to mysogyny ... and the movement against violence will not win widespread support unless it is more appropriately framed.

Because it’s not all men. What’s the point? Why would he be angry at Steve over the road who is an all round nice bloke over something that (insert name of any murderer or sex offender) did? He is intelligent enough to realise that getting angry at Steve would be unfair and make him look real dumb.

Or what this magical utopia of men having the freedom to hang about primary schools unchecked would look like?

@2021ismyyear

Because it’s not all men. What’s the point? Why would he be angry at Steve over the road who is an all round nice bloke over something that (insert name of any murderer or sex offender) did? He is intelligent enough to realise that getting angry at Steve would be unfair and make him look real dumb.

But blaming all women doesn't?

You really shouldn’t have had kids any of you if there was a chance you could curse the world with more of the evil male variant

The point seems to have flown right over your head if this is your response

Hang about? I’m talking about walking past a school whilst going to pick up the newspaper at shop?!

@2021ismyyear

Hang about? I’m talking about walking past a school whilst going to pick up the newspaper at shop?!

And yet you claim he’s as much as a victim as the children and women abused by men? Because he can’t do whatever he likes at all times?

Blame all women?! No. Trouble is it’s people like you that think “most men are bad”... Steve over the road doesn’t share these opinions funny enough.

And learn to read properly. Did I compare who I was saying “as much a victim” as?

@2021ismyyear

And learn to read properly. Did I compare who I was saying “as much a victim” as?

Your exact words:

He’s as much a victim in all this.

So go on then, as much a victim as who?

No. The problem is that some men hear that and some women agree with them.

I believe that some people care capable of great physical violence, most of those people are men.

I also believe that many people are capable of low level, every day unpleasant behaviour, male and female alike.

Further I believe that many people enjoy small, unpleasant, fairly public acts that make others feel uncomfortable. Most of those people are men, their victims female.

Now tell me again why Steve needs to be protected.

You don't appear to understand the meaning of sex class of males 2021ismyyear.

Again, why are you angry at women when the cause of your step father feeling he is viewed with suspicion are the men whose behaviour led to this?

@2021ismyyear

You really shouldn’t have had kids any of you if there was a chance you could curse the world with more of the evil male variant.

Derailing the conversation again. Nice.

You’ve just nailed it “the men whose behaviour led to this”... not the same as “all men” well done! You got it!

@2021ismyyear

You’ve just nailed it “the men whose behaviour led to this”... not the same as “all men” well done! You got it!

What the hell do you think we have all been saying all this time?

I despair.

What people on this thread have been saying “most men”... the people that take offence when others including myself say “it’s not all men...”

OP you are raising a different issue. Feel free to raise awareness of it and campaign for change.

But why post complaining about women raising the issue of (often sexually motivated) male violence against them?

You wouldn’t come onto a thread raising awareness of heart disease and complain they aren’t raising awareness of breast cancer?!?

A few years ago my stepdad told me he stopped walking past a primary school alone because “society judges a lone male near a primary school” so he would rather pick another route. How fucking sad is that.

Society doesn't judge lone men near primary schools because women talk about men who abuse them.
They judge lone men near primary schools because some lone men near primary schools have proven, in enough numbers, in the past to be a threat towards children. The men who have dark intentions towards children don't have any sort of indicator that's why they're there, they look like any other man.
But we don't say that we shouldn't watch out for that, that it may be an indicator something is wrong, that we shouldn't be watching out for suspicious behaviour to start with, that children being abused is an acceptable price to pay for not angering some men who walk past who don't have dark intentions, because that leaves the ones that do have dark intentions, somewhere to hide.
Are you or he angry at the children who spoke up and highlighted that lone males hanging around their school have done inappropriate things enough times that it's become something to monitor?
Are you or he angry at the men who have done these things in enough numbers to warrant monitoring of it?
Or are you angry at the people who monitor this to try and keep their children safe?

Who's fault is it that it's happened enough times to make your step dad think about it and avoid being put into the situation of being viewed like that because he fits the profile, by taking a different route?
The children who were harmed in a high enough number to make it a point of concern, because they spoke about it? The people who listened, further spoke about it, and have tried to protect against it? Or the people that did it in high enough numbers that it's a problem in the first place.
Or I dunno, women? for some reason I'm sure you'll enlighten me of

@2021ismyyear

What people on this thread have been saying “most men”... the people that take offence when others including myself say “it’s not all men...”

I think you offended more people when you said your stepdad was ‘as much a victim’ because he couldn’t wander past a primary school on his way to buy a paper.

@2021ismyyear

Again, why are you angry at women when the cause of your step father feeling he is viewed with suspicion are the men whose behaviour led to this?

^This exactly. And using the word ‘victim’ to describe him in this context is really quite offensive. He really isn’t.

And there’s no reason for him not to go past the school in order to buy a newspaper. No one is even going to notice him if he isn’t loitering with intent. And I’m saying that as someone who is naturally very wary, as an SA survivor.

He’s as much a victim in all this as the men in this thread ... my husband and “Steve” and my son etc.

You gotta be pretty stupid to think I was comparing child abuse victims to my step dad. I wasn’t. Obviously.

@2021ismyyear

You’ve just nailed it “the men whose behaviour led to this”... not the same as “all men” well done! You got it!

and yet you are angry at women because your step father is viewed with suspicion because of the actions of members of his own sex class.

You don't want men as a sex class called out for their behaviour because it upsets them, you don't think men should call out other men on their behaviour, you don't want women talking about their negative experiences with men because it upsets men, you don't want women asking men what are they doing to help this toxic state of affairs because men get upset and don't want to look at the behaviour of their own sex class and the impact it has on women and society as a whole, you want women to be nice and plead with men for their help because otherwise it upsets men, or to just shut up and oh dear, another women has been brutally murdered at the hands of a violent man, what a terrible shame, but it's not the fault of men and there's nothing we can do because we might upset men.

@2021ismyyear

He’s as much a victim in all this as the men in this thread ... my husband and “Steve” and my son etc.

You gotta be pretty stupid to think I was comparing child abuse victims to my step dad. I wasn’t. Obviously.

Sure you were. A victim of what? What are Steve, your DH and SD a victim of in that case?

I’m not angry at women?

I just asked dh a hypothetical question. Imagine the man over the road was guilty of a violent crime.

In a countdown of anger, he would be most cross at the man over the road. He would obviously be disgusted and shocked at the terrible crime.

But number two he would be irritated at the PEOPLE (note, I didn’t say women) that thought that just because he was a man, he could do the same thing. Imagine if people wouldn’t let him continue his charity work as he could be a murderer too based on the fact he is male? Or if ransoms on the internet started complaining on Facebook about all men in our town.

Number three, he would identify with other men like him. Good eggs that are now getting treated differently because of the actions of the man over the road.

@2021ismyyear

He’s as much a victim in all this as the men in this thread ... my husband and “Steve” and my son etc.

You gotta be pretty stupid to think I was comparing child abuse victims to my step dad. I wasn’t. Obviously.

What exactly are the men in this thread, your step father, your husband and the fictitious 'Steve' victims of ?

A victim of discrimination and that random people on internet and people in street thinking just because they are men, they are bad people.