Too Many Men

[JackieBeaver]

I'm feeling very sad about the Sarah Everard case. Poor poor woman. There's a lot of stories coming out now from women who have experienced feeling unsafe due to the behaviour of men with the hashtag toomanymen trending on Twitter and Green Party peer baroness Jones calling for a 6pm curfew of all men.

We need a change! This can't go on, I'm so tired of feeling unsafe and unable to go about my business without fearing for my safety. I'm worried for my dd also

Enough is enough

@XDownwiththissortofthingX

As for Green Party peer baroness Jones calling for a 6pm curfew of all men this is the most ridiculous statement of all time

Indeed.

It's a great example of why good politicians realise that making glib, flippant, or tongue-in-cheek statements in a political setting is never a good idea, as there will always be morons who take them out of context, or too literally, and turn it into a huge bunfight that only distracts from the actual issue at hand.

In fairness, this isn't primarily her fault. Perhaps she should know better but it is the dipshits and misogynists who deliberately misunderstand her are the real problem.

Then again, many of these will be the people who actually assault and harass women, or support those who do. So what they think counts for zilch.

And it has started conversations, hasn't it? This is page 18.

And it has started conversations, hasn't it? This is page 18

I agree with you, but I'd argue this proves my point.

6pm curfew for men is a nonsensical and unworkable idea that should have immediately been laughed off for the joke it is. It doesn't merit debate, hence why it's a distraction.

I was surprised that the 6pm curfew line, which was so obviously intended as a comment on the usual reaction to this kind of thing and what women are told to do, was taken seriously and sparked such outrage.

But then I wasn't.

@DrSbaitso

I was surprised that the 6pm curfew line, which was so obviously intended as a comment on the usual reaction to this kind of thing and what women are told to do, was taken seriously and sparked such outrage.

But then I wasn't.

I suppose, a bit like Black Lives Matter, it's been very good for bringing all the bigoted titwits out into the open. There's a small handful who know when to keep their mouths shut, but the rest can't help themselves.

@toolatetofixate I completely agree with you. This post has become shocking. I'm genuinely concerned at the level of anger towards all men and the impact this will potentially feed our children.
This thread is fuelled with anger based on personal experience. Nobody is taking away from the fact that some men are abusers. Some men are also incredibly decent. Often an abuser has been abused before. The figures are shockingly high. Certainly equal to gender offenders. But that certainly doesn't mean that all abused are abusers. It's exactly the same principle. Most mothers get custody of their children. In some of those households kids are neglected, emotionally abused, psychologically abused. Because the abuse stemmed from childhood, by the time that chid reaches adulthood and abuses, few make the connection. They just see the abuse. Children don't often even realise they are being abused or neglected. Very few abusers have had a balanced, healthy childhood. This is not an excuse, but it is certainly an explanation and a fact. A researched fact, a police fact, a historical fact. Funds should be put into supporting children and recognising abuse. Not just saying men need to suddenly sort abuse out. Its a problem of course. But it's obvious the treatment is at the source of the problem.
One could argue on here, that some of the women are being sexist and abusive to men. If you really want a change, and to protect people, know the facts, and don't base the whole world on your own experience. Whilst you are judging MEN as a whole, there are children being abused right now, potential future abusers, and their perpetrators are getting away with it. Society is far too lenient on the source. It should be NO to abuse and it should start with our children.

@StoneofDestiny

Very offensive to suggest all men need to be on a curfew to keep women safe.

I agree, and I think that is exactly the point Baroness Jones was trying to make. Women are regularly asked to stay home to ensure their own safety. Surely that is offensive too?

As for Green Party peer baroness Jones calling for a 6pm curfew of all men this is the most ridiculous statement of all time

It was ridiculous because it came from someone in the Green Party who firmly believe that TWAW so any curfew would mean any man identifying as a woman can ignore the curfew.
Maybe someone will put it better but if you belong to a political party which doesn’t include biological females in those groups that are considered to be opposed then you cannot whether as a joke or not come out with a sex based comment.

But is is'nt a case of saying men should stay at home or women should. The system and laws need to change along with the understanding.
How many times have social services cocked up, or CAFFCAS. Children who ought to have been protected, were not. Parents failed their children. Those children then grew into dysfunctional adults. How many abusers do we know that have had a balanced, loving, stable, and healthily disciplined home life? Any abuser i've known has come from a very dysfunctional home life. The direction needs to be on the kids, as they grow. Keeping them safe, educating them, supporting them as individuals, not taking the view 'lets keep them with mum and dad for as long as we can. Ive' seen it, I've experienced it.

#notallmen

@Ozziewoz Actually there are plenty of rapists who come from loving non dysfunctional families.
You just have to look at the nice uncle/father/son who thought nothing about touching a child.

But also a lot of men actually still don’t know what constitute rape a way (she was drunk, passing out/sleeping but that’s not rape)

It’s not an issue of abuser= dysfunctional person unfortunately

@ParadiseIsland I did'nt say all abusers came from a dysfunctional background. But the statistics and facts are that the majority of abusers have been abused themselves. I don't just think this, I know this.

You also have to keep in mind, that alot of adults today, don't actually realise that they were abused as children. Sadly too many children don't report abuse, because they don't know any different and are manipulated. It's only when research is actually done into their background, through therapy etc once convicted, that the reality is revealed.

@Ozziewoz

But is is'nt a case of saying men should stay at home or women should. The system and laws need to change along with the understanding. How many times have social services cocked up, or CAFFCAS. Children who ought to have been protected, were not. Parents failed their children. Those children then grew into dysfunctional adults. How many abusers do we know that have had a balanced, loving, stable, and healthily disciplined home life? Any abuser i've known has come from a very dysfunctional home life. The direction needs to be on the kids, as they grow. Keeping them safe, educating them, supporting them as individuals, not taking the view 'lets keep them with mum and dad for as long as we can. Ive' seen it, I've experienced it.

While I entirely agree that there should be a lit of focus on the children of today and tomorrow, that does not mean we should ignore the men, shrug out shoulders and well.. they're fucked up already. There's nothing you can do.

It doesn't start with abuse. It ends there. And there are plenty of things along the way that men can and should change and challenge.

Something has to change. I honestly don’t know a single woman who doesn’t have a story to tell...

Just catching up on this thread as I've been out all day. I love the idea of moving from NAMALT to not in my name. As a man, this is absolutely not in my name and I'm saddened and disgusted that it's still so prevalent.

I don’t see how a curfew would work anyway. The men will all just self identify as women so they can go out!

It’s time for the NAMALT posters to belt up. And listen to the lived experience of women
Stop closing us down with your platitudes, your yeah but no but. Excuses
It’s uncomfortable, it’s not easy to hear. It’s the account of how men habitually intimidate, frighten,overshadow and are violent to women

"It’s time for the NAMALT posters to belt up. And listen to the lived experience of women
Stop closing us down with your platitudes, your yeah but no but. Excuses
It’s uncomfortable, it’s not easy to hear. It’s the account of how men habitually intimidate, frighten,overshadow and are violent to women"
This^^1000 times.
Its uncomfortable to listen to..
It is. But living like this is more than uncomfortable.
Its fucking exhausting.

But living like this is more than uncomfortable.
Its fucking exhausting.
⬆️ Hallefuckinlujah for saying it as it is. I agree with that

I am also incredibly sad about Sarah, as are my husband and my adult daughter and son.

Please don’t accuse all men of violence towards women.

Unpick your knee jerk defensiveness and listen,think about the lived experience @DenisetheMenace
It’s not all about your men,your sons. Stop making this serious issue into boo hoo what about men

Nobody is accusing all men of anything.
Ffs read the room..
Or at least the last few posts.
Jesus christ if I never hear namalt ever again it will be too soon.
We know.
But its too many men.
Just listen to us and actually read what we're writing.
Is that too much too ask?

HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee

Thank you. My lived experience is a manic depressive l, schizophrenic father who beat and raped my mother on a regular basis, beat the hell out of my slightly older brother (who went on to do the same to two wives) and “loved” me.
My husband and son are good people.

So fuck off.

My husband and son are good people

How would I know that if they were walking behind me down a deserted street at night?

Ive got a 12yo son.
It scares me. I hope I've done and will be able to do enough.
I don't want him to grow up in a world where women are scared of him or he's demonised.
But thats on men.
Not me as his mother or any other women who will treat him as a man in the way that their lived experiences tell them to.