**Trigger Warning** Talk me down... 2yo saying he was touched at nursery

[Zara0123]

Name changed.
Potentially I'm being unreasonable because there is a history of sexual abuse within my family (not involving me or dc directly) but it's made me very anxious.
Ds is almost 3. He goes to a private nursery 3 days a week. A man started working there as a nursery nurse a few months back.
DS really likes him, talks about him fondly etc. We obviously don't really know him due to Covid we haven't had the opportunity, plus ds has a different keyworker who comes outside at handover.

Today ds came out and didn't look himself. He immediately started asking for daddy which is out of character. He was tearful. I bathed him when we got home and as soon as his bum hit the water he started screaming, saying " hurt my bum today after I did a poo. Dont touch me mummy. hurt me bad. He not my friend now. He hurt my bumhole when he touched it".
He wouldn't sit down or anything I ended up getting him out and just cuddling him till he calmed down. He let me put cream on him.
We have had dinner and his dad has tried to talk to him. He just keeps repeating that he hurt his bumhole and he isnt his friend. He is saying he was using tissue so I just don't know whats happened. He is not a kid who ever complains about anything! And he doesnt suffer with sore bum.

I feel sick, but I know I'm potentially being o.t.t. Would i feel this way if he said it about one of the females? Probably not.

What would you do?

@Jolie12345

Asking more questions is bad advice? Seriously? That’s exactly what authorities would have to do. Surely it’s better that it’s a parent calmly asking “did he wipe too hard? Or did something else happen? If you tell us we can make sure it doesn’t happen again”. I have a child, I know we need to do all we can to protect them. But people should use some common sense here.

Thats the exact question you shouldn't ask. "Did he wipe too hard?" is a leading question. That's why it's best to leave this to people trained to question children, if necessary.

The authorities are trained to ask questions in the proper way.
Both the questions you've asked are leading questions.
Its bad advice to ask more questions.

@Jolie12345 Your post pretty much sums up why parents shouldn't ask - leading questions.

Evening, everyone. We're going to close this thread to new posts for now. It looks like the OP has been given lots of advice, and probably has a lot to think about right now, and the thread itself seems to have gone off the rails a little. We think it's for the best that we close it for now.

OP - if you decide you'd like us to take the thread down, that's absolutely fine in this instance. Just drop us a line. We hope your little boy is ok.