To be fed up of being touched?

[YeahYesYup]

My DP touches (or I suppose in most cases i should say gropes) me ALL THE TIME. I downplay it in my head by telling myself it's good he's attracted so much to me etc but it drives me insane.
It's gotten to the point where I realise I give him a wide berth if I walk past him as I know he'll touch/slap my bum if I'm close, if I bend down the same thing everytime, I brace myself for it to happen everytime as he does it without fail.
He will touch my boobs, either over or under my top whenever he fancies and everytime I undress he makes a point of watching and making sexual comments.
I want to add that I'm not a prude, I've had other relationships and have always had no issue with being touched/how much they touch me/ getting undressed infront of them etc but with my current DP it just feels the way he touches and looks at me is different and excessive. But then I just think maybe my previous relationships have been the odd one out and that this is normal in a relationship?

I should add I am still bf my toddler so she is touching my boobs alot and I think that contributes to when my DP also wants to touch them all the time it's just too much, maybe I am being unreasonable?

[IsThePopeCatholic]

@VickyEadieofThigh

Being in a relationship with someone does not given them unfettered, unrestricted access to your body and you have the right to say "No".

Agreed. He sounds creepy.

[YeahYesYup]

And after I have mentioned it he will tone it down a little for a day or two maybe but then goes straight back to how it usually is. It's like he doesnt even think about what he's doing he just does it on autopilot without thinking.

[Shoxfordian]

He sounds really creepy and it doesn’t seem he respects any of your boundaries

You should have full autonomy over your body and it’s up to you who touches it and when; this is not ok

[TheFormidableMrsC]

I was married to somebody like this. Absolutely sex pest. Would also have sex with me when asleep. Would grope me in front of everyone and anyone, even his parents. It couldn't be any more off putting or revolting. It never changed and he will never change. We're divorced.

[GNCQ]

I used to have a boyfriend like tha. We broke up over unrelated issues, and both moved on new partners etc DH is completely different, never playfully slaps my bum as I go past! I actually miss it!

Obviously I'd never tell DH in a million years I'd sound nuts.

[GNCQ]

Would also have sex with me when asleep. That's basically illegal

[Tiktaktoe]

There is no romance in every touch being sexual! So his assertion that it shows he is still interested, so what? Are you still interested in him even though he treats like his own personal wank sock? It would give me a serious case of the ick.

[Deadringer]

He sounds like a real creep.

[Woebegonad]

It's like he doesnt even think about what he's doing he just does it on autopilot without thinking.

That's because he doesn't see you as a human being. You are 'woman', ie something for him to put his dick in whenever he wants.

Don't be flattered by this OP. Don't fall for that old gambit. He's groping you because he sees you as an object, not because you're so smokin' hot.

[Clarice99]

He sounds absolutely vile.

You've spoken to him about it, he hasn't modified his behaviour and carries on disrespecting you.

For me, that would be THE END.

[katy1213]

Why have you let it get to this stage? If it continued after I'd pulled him up a couple of times,. I'd be thumping him - before I walked out. Give him a wallop and tell him he's gross and that very soon you'll barely be able to stand the sight of him.

[GirlLovesWorld]

This isn't about romance and keeping the spark alive, he's sexually abusing you!! What else do you call someone being groped against their will?

[Cuppachino]

My DP of 10 years would never grope me just because he 'could'. The only time he touches me outside of the bedroom is for a hug or a kiss.

[murbblurb]

yuk. There's clearly a reason why his previous relationships haven't lasted long. And if he continues to irritate you this much, it will be another one down. Clearly all sex and no affection.

What do you want to happen?

[Cuppachino]

We've only been together a few years so it's not like we've been together 10 years and the spark has gone. I'm the longest relationship he's had

His behaviour may be a clue as to why his previous relationships didn't last too long.

[EstuaryBird]

My DH became like that. There couldn’t be any non-sexual intimacy...a cuddle on the sofa for example....without it turning into a wrestle with a relentless randy octopus. I hated it it. I hated it so much and we had so many arguments about it that it killed all sexual feelings dead.

[DinosaurDiana]

Sounds like a sex pest.

[Eckhart]

I've mentioned it several times and he says it's a good thing

So, you have to like everything that's a 'good thing' in his opinion? Is that right? He gets to choose what you like and what you don't like?

[PurplePrimula]

The thought of that treatment makes me shudder for a start.

I am trying to imagine the mindset that would result in him thinking this is a good thing that you should be grateful for because it means he still finds you attractive. It's a rabbit hole of grossness and negativity.

How do you not have the complete ick with him.
Does he think fuckability is all you have going for you, all you're good for or something because how can he not see that sometimes a women has other things going on and doesn't need sex getting in the way.

[QueenPaw]

Can you not say to him "look the more you grope me, the more it puts me off sex so it's having a negative effect and I really don't like it. Stop groping me"
If that doesn't work I would ditch him (I dated someone like this and ended it because of it)

[GoLightlyontheEarth]

If you did the same to him how would he respond? Grope him and poke and prod him all the time in every situation and see if he likes it. I would hate this. He has no respect for your boundaries. It needs to stop.

[SixesAndEights]

Yuk.

So basically you're the only woman he's been in a relationship with who's put up with this for so long.

[billy1966]

Vile, creepy, sex pest.

It is not normal.
It is not healthy.

I would go qute mad to be constantly groped.

It's not affectionate.

It's treating you like an object.

When you ask him to stop, he does very briefly, and reverts.

This means clearly his needs and desires comes first.
He doesn't care that you'd rather not be groped.
All he cares about is what he wants.

You have made a huge mistake with him.
It will only get worse.
Have a look at other areas where he doesn't care what you want.

Are you returning to work?
Are your finances separate?

You need to be very careful.
You could have a very miserable life ahead of you.

Most women leave sex pests as they grow to despise them.

Don't get pregnant again.

Protect yourself.

[mybonnieliesovertheocean2]

This is taken from a domestic abuse website

Sexual abuse is when you’re forced or pressured to have sex without your consent (rape), unwanted sexual activity, touching, groping or being made to watch pornography

I think you need to stop minimising this,

[JorisBonson]

He sounds like a revolting sex pest. His arse would be out the door before he knew it if it were me.