What are your underwhelming skills that you’re privately quite proud of

[Breakfastburrito]

Mine are:

Being exceptionally good at slicing bread (straight, even slices every time, even on squishy, unevenly shaped loaves)

Uncannily accurate at guessing the time when I haven’t looked at a clock for hours - I’m never more than a few minutes out.

Tell me the things you can do that are not that impressive!

I'm really quite good at knowing which way is north, even underground.

Ooh, I can also spell words correctly 99.9% of the time, even if it’s a brand new word that I’ve only heard and not seen written down.

I'm the Stain Removal Queen

I can wake myself up without an alarm...I'll just tell myself 5.20 am and I will wake up then.

I can also learn the lyrics to songs really easily without even really listening to them.

I also do the read every sign/notice thing and I’m really good at directions and usually have a visual map in my head. DH is shit at directions. However he is brilliant at remembering faces and I struggle to recognise our neighbours away from the street.

Oh, also, I can squat and have my heels and the bottom of my bum touching (but not leaning) the floor at the same time. Can happily sit like that for agee, asian super power.

My bay parks are perfect everytime.

Oh wow all you time knowers, that is awesome ! I never knew someone can do that.

I'm very good at packing - both choosing the stuff I/we need and organising it in the bags.

I can put just the right amount of liquid eg milk in a pan for the mug im using without checking. It impresses dh and the kids at least.

When I'm baking a layer cake, I can shovel the cake mixture into each tin to within a couple of grams of each other. Quite often the two tins have weighed exactly the same when I checked.

I am like a ninja on the London Underground. I know the quickest barriers, the best tunnels to nip across, exactly where to stand on any given platform and train. I can smell incipient delays and I can spot when a tourist is about to vacillate.

I flow through that system like a rat through a sewer.

Only if I'm on my own though - other people (including my family) are idiots who just won't flow.

I can make my own soap. Proper soap!

I haven't bought soap for about 10 years. I just make batches of it every few months.

I make the best cheese toasties. So good that it's a skill I kept hidden from DH until first lockdown. We now have an arrangement were I make one for him once a week. He has it marked on the calendar as "Toasty Day".

I can read ridiculously quickly.

I can find a book in a bookshop/library in record time and without checking various shelves.

@LakieLady

I make fantastic scrambled eggs, and am very good at map reading.

You are my identical twin 😁

I read so fast that people think I am lying, particularly work documents
It annoys me when reading a good book.
I also speed peel vegetables without much waste

@Wbeezer

I'm very accurate when measuring ingredients by eye when baking when i slice a chunk of butter off the block it's often spot on for weight. Q

Me too - I actually made my DD speechless when I measured out ingredients she needed for school completely accurately by sight. That's old school home economics lessons for you! Shame I can't cook or bake well though

@LadyOfLittleLeisure

"Uncannily accurate at guessing the time when I haven’t looked at a clock for hours - I’m never more than a few minutes out." Omg, omg, omg me too! My mum has this ability too! I think there's a secret magical society of us!!! My husband gets annoyed that I go on about my "power" so much 🤣🤣🤣

Me too. I look at the (digital) clock at the same time every single day. It’s like a reflex. Weird.

Is there something about Tetris/punctuation skillz that's inextricably linked to having the grace and coordination of a drunken newborn giraffe? Sometimes I think I'm more bruise than human.

I can do the time thing too. I'm also pretty accurate at the weather, but I suspect that's from practice.
I can also remember the most bizarre, obscure, irrelevant details years down the line by following odd, seemingly unconnected chains of thought.

I can still vault on any horse from the floor, despite having always been crap at any other form of gymnastics. A mainly useless talent because I'm far ever so slightly too old and big to be on the mounted games team these days.

Untying knots and untangling jewellery. Also the waking up at any required time thing without needing an alarm.

Brilliant, everyone. I can get all the dirty dishes in the dishwasher. Sometimes, the stacking takes so long that it would probably be quicker to wash some , but I don't give up. Dh can wake himself up at a required time with no alarm. Weird.

I can read words backwards very quickly
I can knit using five needles 😂

@ZednotZee

If you throw anything at me, literally anything, I will catch it.

My DH throws legso at me from across the room to check I haven't lost my 'powers' 🙄

Can you get yourself to Ahmedabad by tomorrow morning? The England cricket team need you!

I’m really good at throwing and can out-throw all the men in my family, which pisses them off as I’m small (and female, probably). I just used to practice a lot as a kid, as I hated being the youngest with older brothers. I can throw directly at something as well which makes me an unlikely but accurate player of darts.

Spelling, grammar and punctuation.