To feel weird about how my exes partner is referring to our daughter

[meetmeinarizona]

My daughters dad has been with his partner for 3 years, they don't live together and my daughter maybe sees her at a max 4 times a month.

The partner is nice enough and is nice to my daughter and my daughter likes her so that's the main thing.

My best friend used to work with her and so has her on Facebook, she sent me a screenshot earlier and it was a picture of her and my daughter and the caption 'my girl, my everything' and then a few comments on the pic one being 'she's gorgeous Sarah' (fake name) and she responded 'thank you, so proud'.

I just think that's very strange, 1. What is she proud of? 2. You see my daughter once a week, how can she be your 'everything'?

Welcome to be told I'm over sensitive but I'm very close to saying something so need perspective first.

[SoulofanAggron]

It is weird. Sounds like after 3 years maybe she wishes her relationship with your ex was going somewhere, living together etc. So she's trying to make it seem like their relationship is more committed than it is.

Your friend is a bit of a stirrer though maybe, she didn't have to send you this.

[Candyfloss99]

I think you are being precious. People can be proud for all sorts of reasons. Would you think it weird if someone said they were proud of their adopted child if someone said they were gorgeous? Is it only you who is allowed to be proud of what she looks like?

[namechange63524]

To me, it sounds fake and weird. Is she quite a false person? She might just be trying though.

[EggBobbin]

I’d feel the same as you but I’d also wonder whether silence is the best policy if your relationships with them are currently good... anyone that really knows her will know it’s bollocks and it doesn’t really matter what people that don’t know you think.

She sounds deluded and like she’s overstepping but is it worth the hassle, I guess. Once lockdown is over you can have a great time trawling her Facebook with your mate and a bottle of wine...

[SoulofanAggron]

Would you think it weird if someone said they were proud of their adopted child if someone said they were gorgeous

@Candyfloss99 This isn't the random woman's adopted child tho. Just the child of a bloke she sometimes sees.

[Ijustknowitstimetogo]

Eweh. Bit odd. Not sure you can do much about it though. “Stop calling my daughter yours”? You’re going to come across a bit odd yourself if you do.

[ChorleyFMcominginyourears]

It's for likes so I wouldn't sweat it, she wouldn't get any if she put a picture on with only see her once a week ❤ the 'doting stepmum' gets likes and comments telling her what an amazing person she is 🙄😂

[purplebiscuits]

I wouldn't be happy if my dc were plastered on someone else's account.

[Beseigedbykillersquirrels]

@Candyfloss99

I think you are being precious. People can be proud for all sorts of reasons. Would you think it weird if someone said they were proud of their adopted child if someone said they were gorgeous? Is it only you who is allowed to be proud of what she looks like?

What an odd comment. Without sounding like a twat, people comment very frequently about how 'gorgeous' my daughter is. I think she is the most beautiful thing on the planet and so I smile and thank the people who say this to me as I obviously agree. Am I 'proud' of how she looks? No, to be honest. It's just luck that she happens to be beautiful (in my eyes) I had no say in how she would look and if she looked like a slug she'd still be the most beautiful thing on earth to me. For someone else to claim pride about how she looks would be very odd. If my husband and I split up and he got a new girlfriend who put photos on Facebook saying she was proud of how my daughter looks whilst calling her 'my girl' and 'my everything' then yes, I'd find it fucking weird. And that's without all the issues surrounding uploading photos of other people's children without their permission.

[MNWorldisCrazy]

Omg I'd be INCANDESCENT

[Jennylou88]

Step mum here! 👋 maybe she's just proud to be a part of your little girls world. Proud of who she is! You can be proud of a child without necessarily claiming credit for something. If you've got a good relationship and things are going well you're onto a good thing! I'd leave it x

[DeeCeeCherry]

Craving FB attention. Your DD is "her world, her everything?" I'd be having words. She's neither her Mum nor her Stepmum and needs to reign it in. Silly woman.

& Just because Dad's new partner likes his DD, that's no reason for acceptance of oddball behaviour, although some seem to think it's an excuse.

[Mittens030869]

That is weird, I would say. My DSis has always had a close relationship with her DSS and she loves him as much as the 3 DC she’s had with his dad. But she would never dream of posting anything like that. She’s very careful not to step on his mum’s toes and never posts anything on Facebook about him. He always calls her by her first name as well.

So no, you’re definitely not being U, OP.

[PanamaPattie]

@RaininSummer

Incredibly weird. Could you ask your friend to post something like, "how lovely that you think so much of your step daughter. You must live for the weekends".

It would be better if your friend posted something like "how lovely you think so much of your boyfriend's daughter".

[Timeisavirtue]

Not gonna lie, I’d probably say something. If me and DP ever split up and he got a new girlfriend and she was saying this I’d defo put her in her place. I’m all for someone that cares for her but she has 2 parents and 2 parents only.

[HelenDrinkwater]

My exh's (now ex) gf did this a few times. I ignored it, just felt sorry for her, she's so desperate for others' approval. I had asked exh not to put the kids on FB as he has no security settings, but he ignored me. That pisses me off more than anything else.

[TigerBilly]

As a child of separated parents, I don’t find this woman’s post weird in the slightest. I don’t doubt that my step mum loves me just as much as she loves her biological children and is proud of me. My mum and her didn’t get on for a long time but are now the best of friends because they both their kids and want the best for us. It’s not dysfunctional or conventional but it is what it is

[thinkingaboutLangCleg]

I’d ignore it, OP. It is a bit OTT, but she isn’t harming anyone or alienating your DD’s affection.

[indemMUND]

Ex's gf did similar. On all social media from early on she posted photos of him, her and my DD. Bio emojis were 👨‍👩‍👧, then when she got pregnant by him with her own DD changed to 👨‍👩‍👧‍👧. When they split up the emojis changed to just 👩‍👧 and she cut any contact between my DD and her half sister. Nice.

[meetmeinarizona]

Sorry just catching up, neither me nor her dad have Facebook so I doubt she would have expected either one of us to see it, however she must have forgotten my friend was on there. Or maybe she didn't even think it was a big deal so didnt cross her mind.

[jakeyboy1]

It's weird. Not the same but I am the only aunt to my nephew. There is some distant cousin who posts on Facebook how proud she is of "her nephew" (my nephew) and that wrankles me so I your situation is 100 times worse!

[meetmeinarizona]

@Candyfloss99 my daughter looks the way she does because of me and her dad, what in the world has she got to be proud about that?

[partyatthepalace]

It’s odd, and saying ‘my girl’ rather than my lovely stepdaughter is crossing the line

However, she may genuinely love your daughter - once w week for 3 years is a fair bit of contact, and if you daughter loves and feels loved by her that’s the main thing.

I’d think I’d personally let it go, or be v clear with ex P not to make a huge deal that could damage their relationship.

It’s a pity your friend felt the need to bring this to you.

[Viviennemary]

It's cheeky. She is out of order. Clueless.

[LolaSmiles]

Craving FB attention. Your DD is "her world, her everything?" I'd be having words. She's neither her Mum nor her Stepmum and needs to reign it in. Silly woman
This.
If they'd been living together a while and she was a step mum who loves her step child then it would have been different.

It's weird for someone who doesn't even live with their partner and who barely sees a child to declare that the child is their world.