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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dh left out of will.

244 replies

MummypigDaddypig · 04/03/2021 17:54

My Dh is feeling abit blue and sad.

He was really close to his grandad who sadly passed away in December. A few times within the last few years grandad has announced that Dh will be sorted once he dies and that he’s a “half a millionaire” he would joke, and that he’s refusing to
Leave money to MIL. His reason for not leaving money for MiL is because he bought her house and paid for her first wedding plus she left her second husband for someone else and he wasn’t happy. He told her and us that he had taken her out the will because “she had enough from Me” - his words. When mil was told his she went absolutely crazy, screaming down the
Phone at us etc saying her life is over.. She always said “when my dad dies, I will be sorted”.
Dh isn’t close to his mum at all and spent most of his childhood and teenage years with his grandad, he was the apple of his eye and so much so that Dh worked in the same industry, they spent many fond hours talking about work and mutual interests.

Today we found out that Dh isn’t named as a beneficiary. He is really shocked and upset. I feel so sad for him.
Obviously we completely know it’s his money to do as he wishes. But we would rather have nothing if it meant his mum didn’t get it. She’s not a very nice person.

He messaged her and said that he wasn’t in it etc and she just replied that “it’s dads money to do as he wishes”, I’m 100% sure she’s been left it all.

OP posts:
FedUpAtHomeTroels · 04/03/2021 17:56

Can he see the will to make sure he really isn't in it?

OverTheRainbow88 · 04/03/2021 17:56

Has the granddad left a letter of wishes explaining his decisions?

HollowTalk · 04/03/2021 17:58

That sounds awful for your husband.

You will be able to find a copy of his will online - here is the link if you're in England or Wales.

It's unusual for someone to disinherit their daughter (is that right, that your MIL is his daughter?) so perhaps have a look at the date of the will - you might find he had a change of heart. It's very unfair of him to keep telling your husband that he would be leaving money to him if he had no intention of doing that.

DrSbaitso · 04/03/2021 17:58

How did you find out that he's not a beneficiary?

Original poster
MummypigDaddypig · 04/03/2021 17:59

It was the solicitor who said he wasn’t in it, and they won’t discuss anymore.

Although when asked for the surname he said his grandads so he’s not sure if they took his first name and his grandads surname but then thinks why wouldn’t they ask for confirm his last name?

He won’t get a penny from his mum.

His grandad wanted DH to have his car when he had to stop driving as Dh car was on finance and his was paid off. Mil took the car and told DH he can have it, if she has his financed one and he keeps paying the finance- bevause he would have a better car for the same price he’s paying!

OP posts:
MuddleMoo · 04/03/2021 17:59

Is there a way he can see the will just to put his mind at rest what his wishes were?

Hoppinggreen · 04/03/2021 18:00

Get a copy of the will

YukoandHiro · 04/03/2021 18:01

Ask the holding solicitor for a copy in case MIL is pushing for it to be contested

Original poster
MummypigDaddypig · 04/03/2021 18:01

He would always say he doesn’t need to leave money to his daughter because she has already lived her life.

I can’t find it on the probate search yet which is why Dh rang the solicitor.

OP posts:
Original poster
MummypigDaddypig · 04/03/2021 18:02

Mil didn’t even pay into a pension because she is convinced the money will be her pension, she used to joke she would give Dh £5k.

OP posts:
LadyGAgain · 04/03/2021 18:02

What is the date on the Will? Could this one have been superseded? Has DH access to DGF's house to have a look?

Original poster
MummypigDaddypig · 04/03/2021 18:04

I don’t think the probate has gone through yet so can’t check yet 😔

OP posts:
Rupertbeartrousers · 04/03/2021 18:04

If he said one thing to your dh but hadn’t actually changed his will I don’t see there’s much you can do... unless the will was changed recently and you feel that he was leaned on to change it?

Original poster
MummypigDaddypig · 04/03/2021 18:04

Haven’t actually seen the will yet, just the solicitor said he wasn’t a named beneficiary so couldn’t tell him anymore.

OP posts:
Original poster
MummypigDaddypig · 04/03/2021 18:05

I’m not expecting to be
Able to
Do anything but just feeling sad for him.

OP posts:
GenderApostate19 · 04/03/2021 18:05

What people say about their will and what they actually do can be very different.
Is he sure that it’s the right/most current will? If he was so close to his Grandad, did he not hold a copy or get told where it was?
My FiL was adamant that he’d changed his will to include his Grandchildren, so a third to Dh, a third to Sil and a third split between 3 grandkids, he hadn’t and it was 50/50 to DH/SiL. We’ve given our DD her ‘share’ as FiL wanted. I doubt SiL has done the same for her kids.

icelollycraving · 04/03/2021 18:06

Did he financially support his grandad or was he supported by him at all? If so, I think the inheritance act may help. If neither, that must be very painful for him.
Definitely get a copy of the will.

Original poster
MummypigDaddypig · 04/03/2021 18:07

No, he didn’t say where the will was. When clearing the house Dh saw one years ago but he only glanced and it said what charities he left £5k each to.

OP posts:
TheYearOfSmallThings · 04/03/2021 18:07

Get a copy of the will

Definitely get a copy. However it is not unusual for older people to make promises about their estate, perhaps vaguely intending to alter their will one day, no rush... Some of his promises may have been his way of expressing frustration at his daughter's choices, or a threat to make her change. Disinheriting her in reality would be another matter.

CavernousScream · 04/03/2021 18:09

He may not have left anything to your MIL either. Maybe it’s all going to charity.

Tiktokersmiracle · 04/03/2021 18:13

Nothing you can do

For the solicitor to say he can't discuss further makes me wonder if MIL has been left out too and is already saying she will contest. Maybe he left it to charity? Or had care debts? Maybe he was proud and didn't have funds at all?
Money won't bring the relative back.

chiangmai · 04/03/2021 18:15

Folks should never assume there named in someones will even if they make reference to it. My mother was told by her brother that she was getting his house and money as his other siblings didnt need the money. She was the poorest out of them all and had a great relationship with him. She was a widow young too. So when he died she was very upset to find he hadnt changed his will for years and her two other siblings were the executors. Money split between the three and his house sold.

sunshinesupermum · 04/03/2021 18:15

Who is the Executor of the will?

Original poster
MummypigDaddypig · 04/03/2021 18:17

The solicitor is x

OP posts:
Proudboomer · 04/03/2021 18:21

Wait until probate then the will will be a matter of public record and you can get a copy for under a fiver.
I did this when my dad died. I always knew I wouldn’t get anything as he gave me sod all when he was alive but I was interested to know who did get it.