Dh left out of will.

[MummypigDaddypig]

My Dh is feeling abit blue and sad.

He was really close to his grandad who sadly passed away in December. A few times within the last few years grandad has announced that Dh will be sorted once he dies and that he’s a “half a millionaire” he would joke, and that he’s refusing to
Leave money to MIL. His reason for not leaving money for MiL is because he bought her house and paid for her first wedding plus she left her second husband for someone else and he wasn’t happy. He told her and us that he had taken her out the will because “she had enough from Me” - his words. When mil was told his she went absolutely crazy, screaming down the
Phone at us etc saying her life is over.. She always said “when my dad dies, I will be sorted”.
Dh isn’t close to his mum at all and spent most of his childhood and teenage years with his grandad, he was the apple of his eye and so much so that Dh worked in the same industry, they spent many fond hours talking about work and mutual interests.

Today we found out that Dh isn’t named as a beneficiary. He is really shocked and upset. I feel so sad for him.
Obviously we completely know it’s his money to do as he wishes. But we would rather have nothing if it meant his mum didn’t get it. She’s not a very nice person.

He messaged her and said that he wasn’t in it etc and she just replied that “it’s dads money to do as he wishes”, I’m 100% sure she’s been left it all.

[rawalpindithelabrador]

@JackRussellJacket

remember that irrelevant of their relationship she was still his child.

This. To disinherit a child is quite extreme. Even if the relationship is a difficult one.

Some would think so. I was entirely disinherited. But I also expected it and DH does, too. My sister dripped poison for years but well, it was heard and taken on board. We've made our own way in life, as should be.

[toocold54]

I wonder if his dad had MIL as the sole person hoping she would share it and never got around to changing it.

Either that or he didn’t leave it to either of the knowing it was going to cause arguments either way.

The best thing he could have done would have been to share it equally.

[NoMackerelInSwindon]

Get DH to ask the executor solicitor if MIL has a life interest in the income with capital in remainder to DH or if any form of trust was executed over the estate in which DH is a potential beneficiary. If DH has any form of residual interest that should tease it out.

[Inthevirtualwaitingroom]

seems strange that people just call up and ask the solicitor
particularly if the death has been in the paper/obituary notices.
you could be anyone.

surely you just wait for the executor to contact you.

[Bluntness100]

@Inthevirtualwaitingroom

seems strange that people just call up and ask the solicitor
particularly if the death has been in the paper/obituary notices.
you could be anyone.

surely you just wait for the executor to contact you.

Yes of course you can just call the solicitor and ask if you’re in the will. I’m also surprised by the lack of security they show, but I guess for most people it’s irrelevant and wills are made public anyway,

And some people want to know and don’t want to wait to be contacted. I guess the ops husband falls into this category.

[Handsoffstrikesagain]

I worked in a bank years ago inthevirtual and we’d get people (not executors) calling up when their relative was barely cold, asking if we could have a look at what they’d got in their accounts. People are disgusting when it comes to money.

[Bluntness100]

The best thing he could have done would have been to share it equally

The best thing he could have done is not talk about his will or if he did, to be honest.

[Crammingitallin]

Her partner has bad anxiety.
He made a mistake and will call back tomorrow. Eye roll

[Handsoffstrikesagain]

Totally agree bluntness. Sharing info about wills when you’re still alive and talking about who is getting what, often only ends one way imo.

[FortunesFave]

@Crammingitallin

Her partner has bad anxiety.
He made a mistake and will call back tomorrow. Eye roll

OP said she had emailed....

[SeasonFinale]

@Inthevirtualwaitingroom

seems strange that people just call up and ask the solicitor
particularly if the death has been in the paper/obituary notices.
you could be anyone.

surely you just wait for the executor to contact you.

If you are a family member and suspect you may be a beneficiary there is no harm in introducing yourself. Wills are often prepared years in advance and the executor/solicitor may not have contact details.

[Bluntness100]

I think as he passed away in December and it’s now March , I can see why he’s called to confirm. But the length of time alone would indicate he is not named in the will, or he’d have heard by now.

[MummypigDaddypig]

@Bluntness100

I think as he passed away in December and it’s now March , I can see why he’s called to confirm. But the length of time alone would indicate he is not named in the will, or he’d have heard by now.

That’s what we thought. Mil still says she hasn’t heard anything..

[expat101]

My understanding was if you were named in the Will, the Executor had to move heaven and earth to try and find that beneficiary. So i think assuming that your Hubby is not named in GD's will, would be correct.

But yes terrible feeling all the same. You feel like the other person has been dishonest and you question the relationship. Mine has been excluded from a childless Aunt's will because he was adopted in as a baby, ''not part of the family''. The birth cousins have received full benefit.

[kneecapper]

what a shame to be scrabbling over money like vultures after the loss of someone

[Handsoffstrikesagain]

Jesus expat that is awful. If I was a bio child I’d have to share with my adopted sibling in that situation. No way could I see them left out. What a vile woman.

[StellaDendrite]

Of course it’s disappointing to be left out the will especially after the grand father said your husband would be a half a millionaire but I think it would have been a massive step for the grand father to disinherit his daughter.
One of my siblings is a nasty piece of work and has been horrible to my parents. Even so, they’ve always helped him out financially and will leave him the same as me and my other siblings. I think this is the right thing to do. I will be the executor and I’ll be extremely careful to make sure the wills are distributed fairly.
I think the villain in this is the grand father. It was really unkind of him to tell your husband he was getting the money when he wasn’t.
I also agree with a PP that it’s odd to be salty that your husbands mother had her college course and house paid for by her father.

[toocold54]

The best thing he could have done is not talk about his will or if he did, to be honest.

I think it’s quite important to talk about the will especially if it’s not equal.
My parents don’t have much but I would hope that everything is shared equally and if not then we should be given a heads up to stop any arguments/ fall outs after they’ve died.

[Livelovebehappy]

TBH, the normal way of things is that the money gets left to the partner or, if deceased, the children, so unless a Will was made, then mil would inherit. So it’s not as though she’s got something she’s not entitled to. He obviously wasn’t bothered enough by his daughter’s behaviour to change his will. YANBU to be upset though if the grandfather didn’t follow through on his promise, but it’s the grandfather you should be upset at, not the mil.

[MrsClatterbuck]

If the estate has to go to probate it may not have been fully through the probate office yet. Things have probably slowed down due to covid. I used to work with deceased accounts and probate could take months to come through depending on the complexity of the estate.

[Unsure33]

I agree probate is taking a long time . So the beneficiaries may not be contacted yet .

[JackRussellJacket]

@rawalpindithelabrador I’m sorry to hear that. Although I agree we make our own way in life, being disinherited must be painful and very final.

[silverbubbles]

Sadly your husband should never have thought he would get money ahead of his mother. Sounds to me like the Grandfather liked the power of talking about his money and who he was leaving what, who deserved what, who didn't deserve anything etc etc
Maybe he felt that it was the only chat he had to keep his grandson coming round for visits......

[MummypigDaddypig]

She’s now posting stuff on social media about how people are jealous and bitches

[Cocomarine]

Unwise of him to mentally count his chickens, really.

Nobody forced him at gunpoint to buy his own daughter a house. And paying for her wedding is just normal, in many families. So he didn’t like her ending her second marriage? How is that his business? He sounds like he might have been someone who liked to use his will for a bit of attention seeking, who’s in, who’s out. My MIL is very like that - always letting you know who’s in favour and who isn’t. I ignore her - including when I supposedly getting a share 🙄