Dh left out of will.

[MummypigDaddypig]

My Dh is feeling abit blue and sad.

He was really close to his grandad who sadly passed away in December. A few times within the last few years grandad has announced that Dh will be sorted once he dies and that he’s a “half a millionaire” he would joke, and that he’s refusing to
Leave money to MIL. His reason for not leaving money for MiL is because he bought her house and paid for her first wedding plus she left her second husband for someone else and he wasn’t happy. He told her and us that he had taken her out the will because “she had enough from Me” - his words. When mil was told his she went absolutely crazy, screaming down the
Phone at us etc saying her life is over.. She always said “when my dad dies, I will be sorted”.
Dh isn’t close to his mum at all and spent most of his childhood and teenage years with his grandad, he was the apple of his eye and so much so that Dh worked in the same industry, they spent many fond hours talking about work and mutual interests.

Today we found out that Dh isn’t named as a beneficiary. He is really shocked and upset. I feel so sad for him.
Obviously we completely know it’s his money to do as he wishes. But we would rather have nothing if it meant his mum didn’t get it. She’s not a very nice person.

He messaged her and said that he wasn’t in it etc and she just replied that “it’s dads money to do as he wishes”, I’m 100% sure she’s been left it all.

[CarnationCat]

It is sad for your DH that this man was like his father and he hasn't left him anything. If I was your DH, I would feel hurt but it was his grandad's decision. It doesn't erase any of those memories and good times they had together.

I would try and get more confirmation that your DH hasn't been left anything. If it's confirmed, move on. There's nothing you can do about it. Remember the good times.

[MummypigDaddypig]

The solicitor replied saying he is unable to assist
Any further in this matter. So that’s that.

[rawalpindithelabrador]

@MummypigDaddypig

The solicitor replied saying he is unable to assist
Any further in this matter. So that’s that.

Yep. He left her the lot. His call, it was his money and his will. Senseless to despise your MIL over it. It' gone now. I didn't get so much as a photo of my father and then my mother and sister cut me and my kids out of their lives entirely so honestly, just chin up and carry on.

[TheYearOfSmallThings]

The solicitor replied saying he is unable to assist any further in this matter. So that’s that.

Very sad for your DH (and I would still be wanting sight of the will when probate is completed). It really doesn't mean his grandfather didn't love and value him as much as he believed - it is just very difficult to disinherit your own child, and he may have feared their relationship would be completely destroyed if he did so.

[IFoundMyselfInThisBar]

Personally I think all the talk whilst he was alive about who was getting money and who wasn’t all sounds like attention seeking and game playing. It all seems immature and a bit too Jeremy Kyle for my liking.

His grandad has obviously chosen not to leave it to your husband for whatever reason. Clearly your husband doesn’t like his mum so just don’t bother with her. Surely the important thing here is that he’s lost his grandfather who he was very close and is presumably still grieving.

[MummypigDaddypig]

I actually feel more sad for my Dh than anything right now.

Fair enough to include his daughter but to complete leave out Dh is sad, not even his was medals which Dh so desperately wanted.

I feel really sad for him.

Now for the years of it being flashed about in front of us to start..

[Aprilx]

This is what we thought would happen and what he said would happen

Well he certainly shouldn’t have said that, but you and your husband both sound very grabby. Whatever you may think of her, this is his daughter, who I am sure he loved. It is normal to leave the bulk of the inheritance to children not grandchildren.

[IFoundMyselfInThisBar]

Now for the years of it being flashed about in front of us to start.

I’d just cut her out of your lives. What positives does she bring? I’m guessing not many.

[rawalpindithelabrador]

@MummypigDaddypig

I actually feel more sad for my Dh than anything right now.

Fair enough to include his daughter but to complete leave out Dh is sad, not even his was medals which Dh so desperately wanted.

I feel really sad for him.

Now for the years of it being flashed about in front of us to start..

Just move on from her then. It's obvious you both despise her. My mother and sister despise me so they walked the walk and cut us out of their lives. After the shock wore off, life is so much better without their constant judgement of how I choose to live my own life and bring up my kids.

[Easterbunnygettingready]

Time to be rid of mil imo. Dh says he has never been happier since we went nc with his dm.

[slidingdrawers]

@MummypigDaddypig

I actually feel more sad for my Dh than anything right now.

Fair enough to include his daughter but to complete leave out Dh is sad, not even his was medals which Dh so desperately wanted.

I feel really sad for him.

Now for the years of it being flashed about in front of us to start..

I commented previously but it is possible that there was not much of an estate if he was, for example, in care (you had mentioned that your DH was clearing the house a few years ago). It may have been his intention to leave his a significant part of his wealth to your DH but if most of it had gone on care, that could have significantly changed things.

[Rachie1973]

@MummypigDaddypig

I actually feel more sad for my Dh than anything right now.

Fair enough to include his daughter but to complete leave out Dh is sad, not even his was medals which Dh so desperately wanted.

I feel really sad for him.

Now for the years of it being flashed about in front of us to start..

But it’s not really unfair to leave out a grandchild.

My will includes my children but not my grandchildren. It’s not that unusual.

[MummypigDaddypig]

He told his house for £300k and the care ate up £200k of that. He had a lot of shares and saving accounts ontop of that too. So I think there should have been quite abit left.

It’s not even about the money tbh, you don’t miss what you haven’t had but it’s just upsetting and I don’t know why.

[MummypigDaddypig]

I just think if his mum was a normal parent it wouldn’t even be an issue but the fact she’s massively narcissistic and you can’t have any sort of conversation with her. He had a crap childhood and teenage years because of her and was neglected by her which meant he spent most of his time with his grandad hurts the most.

[rawalpindithelabrador]

This is why it's never good to expect an inheritance. It just leads to upset.

[LyingWitchInTheWardrobe]

Your husband would benefit from cutting contact with his mum or reducing it so that it doesn't impact him so hard.

He can grieve for a while, set it aside and work on building up his own life to what he wants it to be - or he can dwell, involve you in it and just allow the feelings to fester. Either way, the impact will be to him.

The money isn't yours, will probably never be available to you. If you discount it from your thoughts then it can no longer hurt you.

So, what's it to be?

[TartanBiscuit]

I'm a private client solicitor OP, would be happy to have a quick chat. Some of the replies on this thread are ridiculous. DM me if you like.

[LyingWitchInTheWardrobe]

Oh are you an heir-hunter/will-chaser? I thought all solicitors were private client solicitors, having private clients?

You could have just PM'd the OP directly rather than drum up business.

[TartanBiscuit]

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe

Oh are you an heir-hunter/will-chaser? I thought all solicitors were private client solicitors, having private clients?

You could have just PM'd the OP directly rather than drum up business.

Erm....no, definitely not!

And a private client solicitor deals with Wills, Probate, LPAs etc. It's not about your clients paying you privately as opposed to working for a company or the local authority.

And I am not drumming up business, I am busy enough thank you, I was just offering to help. Viper.

[CharlotteRose90]

Yes it’s sad and the grandad shouldn’t have promised things. However it’s time to move on now the truths out. His mum got the money as she was the daughter. If you don’t get on then ignore the family and live your life’s.

[LyingWitchInTheWardrobe]

Apologies, TartanBiscuit... genuinely. I understand now.

I'm always seeing heir hunters at the moment. My father died intestate and I've been inundated with them contacting me.

Peace offering?

[TartanBiscuit]

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe

Apologies, TartanBiscuit... genuinely. I understand now.

I'm always seeing heir hunters at the moment. My father died intestate and I've been inundated with them contacting me.

Peace offering?

Peace offering accepted xx

[thatwastheriver]

I have RTFT but I would like to add something to needacushion's post. Divorce does not invalidate a will like a subsequent marriage does. Divorce just results in the divorced person being taken out, as if they had died. So for example: the normal mirror will, where a married couple, call them Barbie and Ken, leave everything to each other, and to Barbie's sister and Ken's sister jointly if they both die together.. Barbie divorces Ken. If Barbie doesn't make a new will, and she dies, her estate will go to her sister and Ken's sister.

[inchplant]

it’s not even about the money tbh, you don’t miss what you haven’t had but it’s just upsetting and I don’t know why

aye alright, it’s not about the money

[rawalpindithelabrador]

@inchplant

it’s not even about the money tbh, you don’t miss what you haven’t had but it’s just upsetting and I don’t know why

aye alright, it’s not about the money

Oh, it's definitely about the money for them.

Again, it was never yours to dispose of, you did nothing to earn it and if he'd really cared as much as he told your h he'd have changed his will years ago.

This is why it's bad to ever conduct a relationship on the basis of what remuneration there is in it for you.