Dh left out of will.

[MummypigDaddypig]

My Dh is feeling abit blue and sad.

He was really close to his grandad who sadly passed away in December. A few times within the last few years grandad has announced that Dh will be sorted once he dies and that he’s a “half a millionaire” he would joke, and that he’s refusing to
Leave money to MIL. His reason for not leaving money for MiL is because he bought her house and paid for her first wedding plus she left her second husband for someone else and he wasn’t happy. He told her and us that he had taken her out the will because “she had enough from Me” - his words. When mil was told his she went absolutely crazy, screaming down the
Phone at us etc saying her life is over.. She always said “when my dad dies, I will be sorted”.
Dh isn’t close to his mum at all and spent most of his childhood and teenage years with his grandad, he was the apple of his eye and so much so that Dh worked in the same industry, they spent many fond hours talking about work and mutual interests.

Today we found out that Dh isn’t named as a beneficiary. He is really shocked and upset. I feel so sad for him.
Obviously we completely know it’s his money to do as he wishes. But we would rather have nothing if it meant his mum didn’t get it. She’s not a very nice person.

He messaged her and said that he wasn’t in it etc and she just replied that “it’s dads money to do as he wishes”, I’m 100% sure she’s been left it all.

[SunshineCake]

@MummypigDaddypig

I think because he said “I’m ringing regarding my grandad **” he thinks that the solicitor would know even if the surname wasn’t the same that it would be him?

Too much incorrect thinking going on. If you are sure he should be in the will you need to do some proper checking instead of being sad about something that might not have happened.

[DavidsSchitt]

"grandad paid for her to go catering college"

This isn't "landing on your feet". It's a parent supporting their offspring with their education.

As for the "brand new 5 bedroom home" - that's great. Good for him and her that he had enough money to set his daughter up for life.

I fully intend to support my kids however I'm able to financially. I won't be tolerating any discussion of presumed inheritances because, quite frankly, it is rude, greedy and quite sad.

The thought of all those people rubbing their hands with glee at the prospect of getting his money - maybe he knew that and left it all to charity instead.

[MadeForThis]

Get the solicitor to confirm the date on the will. But this will only help if you suspect their could be a later will.

[Bluntness100]

My father in law used to do it all the time. If one of his two kids annoyed him or didn’t do as he wanted, or live their lives as he thought fit, he’d repeatedly say, I’m leaving you nothing in the will, you’re not getting a penny from me. We’d all just nod and say that’s alright we don’t want it.

Depending who was in earshot they’d be inheriting it. He’d also tell people privately they were inheriting from him and not his children, becayse they were ungrateful, neglectful or some other shite that was annoying him at the time..

Which led to some very uncomfortable discussions when he passed away, because obviously he left everything to his two children. One person even took the conversation saying “well he said he’d leave the house to me” . Ehrm, well yeah, but he didn’t. Honestly he did it all the time.

I’m not saying that’s what your husbands grandad did, but it’s surprisingly common.

[MummypigDaddypig]

We are not rubbing our hands at all. Mil has been for the last 10 years, and openly said she couldn’t wait until he died etc.

So we would rather the money went to charity than to her.

[LyingWitchInTheWardrobe]

MummypigDaddypig, People always think they know everything about the inter-relationships of family and they don't, not always.

What is your husband really upset about? That he's lost his granddad? Or that his mother has benefitted from her father's death financially, despite not having a good relationship with him? Or that he himself hasn't benefitted from his grandfather's will?

All of this could have been avoided, if his own granddad wasn't such a blabbermouth who didn't honour what he said. Nobody can ever rely 100% that they will benefit from anybody's will and all of the idle gossiping about it - instigated by the granddad - has caused a lot of upset.

[MimiDaisy11]

I don't know why people would say they were giving certain things in their will if they've not. It's quite mean - if they've just volunteered the information and not been pressured by a relative. I guess when you're dead you can't care what others think of you. I think like others say some people talk of what they're thinking of doing, rather than what they've actually done. He could have been in a bad mood with his daughter that day. Or maybe he intended to change it at some point but never did.

[rawalpindithelabrador]

I agree, Davids. I'm persona non grata because I chose to leave. Fair enough. I've always conducted my life on the basis of not having any inheritance at all, why wouldn't any reasonable person? I mean, it's not my money, property or effects to dispose of, doesn't belong to me, I never did a thing to earn it. Such is life.

[Puzzledandpissedoff]

Since the solicitor is the executor, at least you can be confident that the estate will be distributed properly and according to GF's wishes, rather than various amounts "going missing"

What it actually said and whether GF really did change it to favour DH won't be known until probate's completed. At that point definitely get a copy, but don't get your hopes up too much - the thing of seniors promising things but somehow not getting round to putting them in their wills is a well worn path

[rawalpindithelabrador]

@MummypigDaddypig

We are not rubbing our hands at all. Mil has been for the last 10 years, and openly said she couldn’t wait until he died etc.

So we would rather the money went to charity than to her.

But sadly that's irrelevant. It was never yours to dispose of as you saw fit. I'm not the biggest fan of my sister, I find her narrow minded. DH's brother is a lazy person who's never had a steady job in his life. He doesn't lift a finger to help MIL. But he'll get the lot, probably blow it, but well, it's not ours to decide.

[Bluntness100]

@MimiDaisy11

I don't know why people would say they were giving certain things in their will if they've not. It's quite mean - if they've just volunteered the information and not been pressured by a relative. I guess when you're dead you can't care what others think of you. I think like others say some people talk of what they're thinking of doing, rather than what they've actually done. He could have been in a bad mood with his daughter that day. Or maybe he intended to change it at some point but never did.

Yup, it’s proper cunty, in our situation fil used it as a stick to beat his kids, when they didn’t do as he wished,,which was fairly ineffectual because honestly neither adult child cared. Who did care was the folks he falsely promised stuff too.

He was never going to disinherit his kids, ever. He was cunty but not that cunty and deep down loved his children, He died unexpectedly in his sixties and actually when he did, he’d not long updated it and he made it clear that it was his kids and only his kids who inherited.

[oil0W0lio]

it was almost like playing with the family and setting them against each other
you're wrong!
(there's no 'almost' about it👀)

[Quartz2208]

It sounds like he gave a name to the solicitor that wasnt in the will because it isnt his name (and wills do need to be precise) and the fact is saying his grandad doesnt make him the name in the will at all.

He needs to contact the solicitor again and give the name of his grandad and his name to check.

if he isnt then he does need to come to terms with his grandads will

[LyingWitchInTheWardrobe]

@MummypigDaddypig

We are not rubbing our hands at all. Mil has been for the last 10 years, and openly said she couldn’t wait until he died etc.

So we would rather the money went to charity than to her.

But that's not your call and it's not a very nice thing to say either. Cut your losses, your husband probably won't benefit from MIL's will - and he hasn't (apparently) benefitted from his granddad's will, despite the posturing.

I agree with Bluntness, this seems to happen often and it's just really distasteful - of the person making the will - and the people waiting with their hands out.

I've never benefitted from any will, ever, never had an inheritance of any sort and I'm actually glad of that because there's no anguish to go through. I will receive money from my mother, she'll share it equally with all four of us, but I've urged her to spend my share now, enjoying herself, because when she goes, there's nothing I would want or could make up for that loss.

I think your husband needs to come to terms with the fact that his granddad was disingenuous and enjoyed stirring the pot somewhat. If he had a good relationship with him then that's all to the good and nice memories. I hope this will business won't taint that.

[Bluntness100]

So we would rather the money went to charity than to her

Honestly it’s irrelevant, the only person able to decide that was the grandad, you don’t know what was in th will. And to be honest you don’t even know if your husband is, as he gave the wrong name (although I doubt he is based on his mother’s response, it seems she knows).

In this she’s right, it was her fathers to do with as he pleased and that needs to be respected. If he did leave it to her, remember that irrelevant of their relationship she was still his child.

[SixesAndEights]

@MummypigDaddypig

I think because he said “I’m ringing regarding my grandad **” he thinks that the solicitor would know even if the surname wasn’t the same that it would be him?

Why???? Unless the solicitor's got a full copy of your family tree in front of them, they're not always going to know who is who or how many or what their names are.

[JackRussellJacket]

remember that irrelevant of their relationship she was still his child.

This. To disinherit a child is quite extreme. Even if the relationship is a difficult one.

[slidingdrawers]

OP, you mention your DH clearing his GF's house years ago. If he was in care, it is possible that most of the estate was used towards his care.

[needadvice54321]

If you think it's awkward calling to say your DH got the name wrong, why not just call with the right name? They won't necessarily know it's the same person trying a different name?

[Handsoffstrikesagain]

I think we must have the same FIL bluntness! We just do the same, shrug and ignore. It really pisses FIL off that his son (my DH) has more money than he could have ever dreamed off, therefore that particular stick to beat him with has now become null and void. Ah well, better than when he used to physically hit him with a belt I suppose 🤷🏽‍♀️ Money makes people horrible.

[TonTonMacoute]

If your DH is a beneficiary in the will and the solicitor is the executor, they will be in touch with your DH eventually, no matter what he said his name was!

[SionnachGlic]

He should write to solicitor referencing estate of GF X & providing all variations of DH's own name pre & post name change. Best to clarifying names & have it in writing. Then obtain a copy of the Probate once granted.

[Unsure33]

It does sound like specifics were mentioned about who was in the will and who was not , so it’s not essentially about the money . It’s about the fact the the solicitor is looking at the last and correct will because it does sound like there is more than one .

I hope you do get a definitive answer .

[anamazingfind]

I'm so sorry your DH has been let down like this. Better for the grandad to have said nothing to him than make promises that were not kept. This is the problem with wills like this, we will never know why someone did what they did. My lovely BIL was promised by his late DW he would be left the house when in fact she had written him effectively out of her will. He is contesting it of course but the whole family has been torn apart now. Why do people act like this?

[Bluetrews25]

But surely if he is the beneficiary (or one of them) then the solicitor will eventually get in touch and ask for documents to confirm identity before doing a transfer once probate has been granted? It's not really necessary to contact the solicitor yourself, is it?
My late DM was contacted (while she was alive!) by a solicitor as she'd been left some money by an old friend she'd not seen for about 15 years. They tracked her down even after she'd moved away from the area.