My Dh is feeling abit blue and sad.
He was really close to his grandad who sadly passed away in December. A few times within the last few years grandad has announced that Dh will be sorted once he dies and that he’s a “half a millionaire” he would joke, and that he’s refusing to
Leave money to MIL. His reason for not leaving money for MiL is because he bought her house and paid for her first wedding plus she left her second husband for someone else and he wasn’t happy. He told her and us that he had taken her out the will because “she had enough from Me” - his words. When mil was told his she went absolutely crazy, screaming down the
Phone at us etc saying her life is over.. She always said “when my dad dies, I will be sorted”.
Dh isn’t close to his mum at all and spent most of his childhood and teenage years with his grandad, he was the apple of his eye and so much so that Dh worked in the same industry, they spent many fond hours talking about work and mutual interests.
Today we found out that Dh isn’t named as a beneficiary. He is really shocked and upset. I feel so sad for him.
Obviously we completely know it’s his money to do as he wishes. But we would rather have nothing if it meant his mum didn’t get it. She’s not a very nice person.
He messaged her and said that he wasn’t in it etc and she just replied that “it’s dads money to do as he wishes”, I’m 100% sure she’s been left it all.
AIBU?
Dh left out of will.
MummypigDaddypig · 04/03/2021 17:54
Am I being unreasonable?
497 votes. Final results.
POLLThere's nothing worse than inheritance money causing upset. We've recently lost my FIL and his wife (DH step mother) has turned very funny about money. She hasn't been left much compared to DH and his sibling - they were married for a relatively short time and the house they lived in was DH's family home etc.
She's constantly confirming what is hers, horrid as DH and his sibling aren't saying otherwise. Just all very uncomfortable 
@MummypigDaddypig
You really need to stop looking and getting upset at what your dp mum posts
There’s no gain in the what ifs and watching her from a distance
It’s all a bit toxic, she’s his mum. If he or you are not bothered stop gawping at her social media
You need to unfollow her, Mummy, and get your head round it. Inheritance is never a given until it goes through probate. Didn't even get so much as a photo from my father's estate. He mentioned some jewellery for my son, on his deathbed, but it's not forthcoming as was no bequeathed in writing. That's how it goes.
Please take some time out and step off from her because it won't do you both any good. I mean this sincerely, I've been entirely disinherited and cut off from both my mother and sister as well. You need to spend some time focusing on something else.
@Bluntness100
I don’t know where you are, but in the Uk, contacting the beneficiaries is generally very early in the probate process, particularly if a solicitor is The executor. Yes they could be tardy but in reality it’s very likely he’d know by now if he was a beneficiary.
That’s all he needs to know though, past that it’s nothing to do with him what his grandfather chose to do with his estate, and if ultimately he chose to give it to his daughter, your husband needs to accept that, irrelevant of how he feels about his mother.
I don't often agree with Bluntness, but I do here. Ultimately, he decided what to do, didn't change it, whatever. I know it's hard, I'm pretty much estranged from my mother and sister, and that was before my father died. I just leave the door open if they ever want to get in touch. It's all I can do.
It's happened.
It's up to you how you handle it for yourselves.
It’s definitely the case that inheritances can bring out the worst in people. My MIL almost came to blows with FIL’s aunt and cousin when his DF (my DH’s Grandad) over a coveted old family photographer. (It’s enlarged and in a frame.) My MIL thought that she was entitled to it because it was her DH’s family. Whereas the aunt was in the photograph, she and Grandad were children at that time.
It was shocking, because it was so out of character for all three of them. My MIL, tbf, had lost FIL two years before In a car accident and was nowhere near over it.
It was grief talking in their case. Which will be a factor in your case, too, OP.
I do suspect there’s a big chance that there won’t be much left over because of care home fees.
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.